Grandparents

[mummer1962]

So "grandma" sends a loving message to all other grandchildren except "our" daughter because i took her son to court. She sends it on her brothers facebook knowing she will read it. Nasty and exclusive.

[May_May]

how old is your daughter ?

[mummer1962]

19 but they only met her when she was 10. Does it really matter, Respondent cried when his abusive mother did not talk to him when he was 30, any exclusion is abusive and intentional.

[May_May]

It does matter with what I have to recommend. Not that I always agree with my mother, but she raised us to not internalize, ask questions, confront people in an assertive (non-aggressive) manner so issues are out in the open.

In this case...my mother would say "Send your grandmother a note, or post on her wall with a link to your wall and say I noticed your comments on my cousins walls and wanted to make sure you have my link to my profile. Love you grandma...big hugs"

That way it teaches your daughter not to keep things in, and how to set boundaries with others (be it family or friends) in a non-aggressive way !

(personally...what a bad grandmother ! All grandma's are supposed to treat their grandchildren equally...shame)

[mummer1962]

Thank you May May, in my family we call my mother every week, check in and see how she is doing, with unconditional love..obvioulsy Respondent did not fill us in on the "rules" of membership with his mother so, she just dumped her. Disgusting.

[billm]

Thank you May May, in my family we call my mother every week, check in and see how she is doing, with unconditional love..obvioulsy Respondent did not fill us in on the "rules" of membership with his mother so, she just dumped her. Disgusting.

What's with using the word 'Respondent'

[blinkandimgone]

He's a deadbeat, don'tchyaknow....

[neil50]

How close were your daughter and her grandmother ? Can she post something herself on her facebook or her grandmothers ?

[mummer1962]

I wish..."grandma" stopped talking to her a few years ago because she did not say thank you for a gift she did not recieve. Heard it from "aunt" who is no longer talking to her..The family "weapon" is to "not talk to" anyone who does not follow family rules. It is abusive and psychopathic. Daughter has tried to reach out to them to no avail. Totally abusive. They all showered her with gifts and attention after 10 years of DAD not acknowledging her then dumped her again...What a effed up family. unfortunately it affects my daughters emotional well being. SHAME on them all.
Really, i wish i did not go through the trouble of trying to maintain a relationship with a father who ran away for 10 years. The court case was not worth it, my husband has taken care of her and his parents are her real grandparents.

[neil50]

How was it when you were married to her son and your daughter was born ? Was she a nice MIL and grandmother then ? What I am getting at it is did this all come about because of the divorce ?

I gather your daughter is in university now so was wondering why she doesn't fix it for herself with her grandmother, I can see you might not want much contact but if she wants it, she should forge it perhaps.