Requesting kids see pediatrician

[Berner_Faith]

My bf's kids are with us every other weekend, in the summer the last 2 weeks of July and August... to us they seem to very malnurited. His son, just turned 6 and only weights 40lbs, his daughter who is 3 weighs 35lbs. We know when they are with their mother they are not made to eat, and they live off of McDonlads and peanut butter sandwhiches (we talk to the kids every night and the week before they were with us, they ate McDonalds 4 out of 7 days ) I am really worried for his son as he is so skinny and small for his age. BF has tried to talk to ex about this, but every time he does she gets upset and says the kids are fine and she is not taking them to get checked... is there anything we can do in requesting they see a pediatrician to ensure they are healthy? There is currently no agreement signed (still going back and forth with lawyers) but there must be something we can do... we would take the kids ourselves, but she refuses to give us health cards when we have the kids because as she puts it (if there is an emergency she will bring the health cards)... when they are with us they are not allowed to eat fast food... we eat well and the kids are expected to eat what we put in front of them... they are well aware of this and most of the time it is a challenge to get them to eat as mom lets them pick how much they want to eat (to us, 1 chicken finger is not a meal)...

Anyways, I guess the real question is... what can we do to get them to a pediatrician seeing as we never have their health cards?

Thanks in advance!

[dinkyface]

Getting kids to eat, and discipline around eating habits is a very common problem ... tons of articles out there on this topic.

I'm NCP of a 4 year old 'runt' (ranging between 3rd to 10th percentiles on 'weight for age' charts, but was at 50th percentile at birth), NO info from CP on diet, I've been through this worry.

Check here for charts:
http://www.who.int/growthref/cht_wfa..._5_10years.pdf

Your boy is around 15th percentile, maybe 10th if he is 6.5yrs - likely he is also well under 50th percentile height for age? (so BMI OK). If his weight is steadily increasing (hopefully you're tracking it?), and he is energetic and not prone to any other health problems then there is no medical cause for worry.

PB is great food for protein and nutrients and calories! (even with all the added sugar). And ketchup DOES count as a vegetable

Does your BF has joint legal custody with their mom? If not, he can't take them to a Dr himself, even with a card - except in emergency.

When was their last Dr visit? You SHOULD have access to that info. If you know the Dr's name, ask them directly for a copy of the kid's health file. You have the right to that info, even if your BF is NCP (non-custodial).

[epinecone]

Public Health Unit

I am not sure if it is the same in all provinces, but in Alberta we have public health nurses at our local health units that provide assessments of childrens overall health based on height / weight BMI.

I take the kids into the health unit once a year to see how they are developing and in what percentile of the measured population of other kids thier age/gender.

Check your local Health Unit.. They will tell you how far off of average the child is.

[mom2three]

First off, health cards are to travel with the children; they are not property of the Mom.

Secondly, it can be frustrating knowing that your eating habits do not align with the other parents. Suck it up and keep doing what you are doing by encouraging them to eat healthy foods.

And thirdly, I wouldn't be too panicked about the weight, particularly in light of the fact that the other child seems to be progressing normally. My oldest, who is nine, is one of those runts (she didn't get it from me!). She now weighs a scant 42 pounds; her four year old sibling weighs more!

[dinkyface]

My oldest, who is nine... now weighs a scant 42 pounds

OMG ... that's off the charts, like 1/1000! (sorry). But I'm sure you have regular MD care/checkups and know what's going on...

[mom2three]

OMG ... that's off the charts, like 1/1000! (sorry). But I'm sure you have regular MD care/checkups and know what's going on...

Yes, she is unusually tiny and healthy as an ox! It's kinda funny to see the looks on peoples faces when they discover she is the oldest; her brother who is a year younger eats me outta house and home and tops in at close to 80 pounds with not a scrap of fat on him - can you picture the looks now? But, she has absolutely NO medical conditions to speak of (drama queen is not a formally recognized condition), she is simply SMALL! Oh, and a master hockey player cause the boys are scared to hurt her hehe!

[fireweb13]

Your ex should give you a photocopy of the health card. My ex refuses to do so, when our daughter turned 2 she needed an new health card and my ex refused to give me it. She still refused to do for some reason her excuse of "I gave it to him like 10 Times" always seems to work even though I have been given a copy of her old one when it was still valid and I was the one who pointed out to her that it was expired.
My ex also has our daughter on the McDonalds diet, we do what we can to always provide very healthy meals for her when she is here, in fact we spend most of our grocery money on the time she is with us to make sure she has fresh fruit and veggies and leaner meats and stuff like that. If only our ex's could be reasonable right.

[NBDad]

You can usually only get ONE copy of the health cards. HOWEVER the issuing department can usually send a letter containing the health numbers that any health care provider can use instead of the card.

I had to do this with my ex wife. She's entitled to a copy of them, so I had a letter sent from the government office. It clearly outlines the names/medicare numbers and states that it's valid to be used in place of the card itself.

Call the office that issues the cards and ask about the available options.