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  • Moving...and information not forwarded - Shared Custody

    My husband has 2 kids....his ex-wife is doing everything to ruin the relationships between him and his kids - which she has accomplished. Now, we find out that she has sold her home and has moved, with the kids. Both my husband and his ex have SHARED custody. At no time has the new address been sent to us, so we have no idea where they moved to. The only reason I found out was due to a Facebook posting that was made - my husband and I have been blocked so we didn't see this ourselves. Can we get her charged for this??

    When we call, they hang up. When we send text messages or emails - no acknowledgement whatsoever. He has left messages on the homephone, but we are sure the ex deletes them. The mother has done a great job at alienating these kids from their father. To the point where at one point, they were told they had to choose between her and their dad. She now has a boyfriend, who she wants them to replace as the father figure (she sent us a copy the week before christmas of a fathers day card that her oldest daughter sent her boyfriend)....this all to hurt my husband. I could go on about the drama and nastiness of this woman, but it only gets me angry.

    SO, what can we do....these kids are over the age of 13 and so they can make their own decisions, but can she move them without letting us know where to?? HELP !!!!

    Stepmom2

  • #2
    No she can't. But you can't deal with this on an internet forum. If he has shared custody, why doesn't he just ask the kids when they are with him? If they won't say and close him out, the problem is deeper than simply the move and has been going on for years to get to this point. So you are focusing on the wrong thing.

    Speak to the kids, and more importantly listen to them. If the mother has actually abducted them and moved and the father has no idea where they are and they aren't coming back, that is not really what you are describing here.

    If the kids refuse to talk, you have to choose whether to take the mom to court or let it go. You can't sue someone over a father's day card, but you can get an order to provide the childen's address to the other custodial parent. If there is significant alienation, you can try to get a court order for family counselling. For counselling to work, everyone has to want to be involved though. You won't get far if the teenagers just sit and ignore the counsellor.

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    • #3
      What does your court order say with regards to mobility?

      How often does he exercise his parenting time?

      It usually takes a little while to sell a house... did he not notice the for sale sign on the front lawn??

      Maybe you should confirm that she actually moved... don't rely and a third party notification based on a Facebook status update.

      If she didn't move out of the area... it is possible that she did nothing wrong.

      Does anyone know if you are legally obligated to provide your new address... if your move has not interfered with access???

      Comment


      • #4
        http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...her-poll-8417/

        Comment


        • #5
          I get the impression from the post that he hasn't been able to get in touch with the children at all? I could be wrong but it sounds like it has been some time since he's seen them if he had no idea they were moving or even that the place was for sale. Guess the OP will have to clarify.

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          • #6
            How old are the children?

            What does his agreement provide regarding parenting time and has he been exercising it?

            Has he sent a registered letter to her (with a return receipt) formally requesting that she provide her address as it is in the childrens best interest that both parents know their general location at all times.

            Stop calling her, it is useless and anything said would generally be inadmissable in court. Email her or send her registered letters only.

            If she doesn't respond to your formal request, hire a lawyer to send her a letter stating that if she doesn't provide you with the address you will take her to court for contempt.

            I understand you have issues with PAS, but you need to fight back with consistency in exercising parenting and take your methods of communication off the telephone (that also includes her calling you) to a place where you can actually get some proof of what you send and her response.

            Comment


            • #7
              Mess, you are absolutely right, the issue is much deeper. As of today, we haven't seen these kids for over a year. They live 2 hours away from us, a drive my husband did willingly and gladly every other weekend, for the time we did have them. 4 hours there and back, and then again on the Sunday - this is a man who loves his kids.

              We will have to followup with her via email (even though in the order it states that we communicate only via canada post), and request again her new address. A letter was sent registered a couple of months back when we first found out her home was for sale, asking that once she moves to forward this information to my husband. Our case is an example of PAS - and is so sad to see. My husband is missing out on having his girls in his life, but they are missing out having their dad in their's. Our lawyer said that if they were younger we could do something about it because it is so evident that PAS is occurring, but since one is 14 and the other is 18 they are old enough to decide for themselves.

              We have suggested family counselling, but they refuse and their mother says that they or she does not need it. So, we are fighting a losing battle for now. Maybe one day it will change. All we can do is let them know that when they are ready to come around, we will be there waiting with open arms - which we have told them many times over the past year.

              Comment

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