50/50 custody obligations

[blinkandimgone]

If a couple switched to a 50/50 week on/week off schedule what are the obligations of each parent?

For example, is the parent who currently has primary residence obligated to provide the other with half of the belongings, furniture etc. for the kids? If the bus won't transport the kids to and from school at two different locations, is the current CP obligated to facilitate transportation half of the time when it falls on the other parent's week?

[standing on the sidelines]

to me half of the kids clothes should be at each parents place. Kids grow out of clothes so fast so it is a good way to keep costs down for both. As for the furniture I think that each provides their own as it can be used by other people like overnight guests when the kids are not there. I am sure there are things that the kids will take back and forth with them. As for the bus thing I cannot see that being a problem once they are made aware of the custody situation.

[Mess]

I can't imagine splitting furniture, you'd need bed, dresser, desk etc at both places. If there was extra then two reasonable people shoud be able to accomodate each other. If one or both aren't 100% reasonable then the best interest of the child would be to avoid a big honkin fight over the extra foldaway bed.

The child shouldn't have to lug a suitcase back and forth, but maybe this is a reasonable thing for say one season. For example we are shopping around for winter boots, jackets etc and the kids have outgrown enough stuff from last year. So if it were me I would say send a week's worth of fall clothes over now, and then both parents shop for winter stuff.

I'd avoid framing issues in terms of "the CP is obligated to blah blah". With a 50/50 split the former couple are going to have to operate like a team, like co-workers at the same organization, not working side by side but co-operating on all issues. If my ex called and said she had some event or issue one night and could I pick up the kids and take them whereever, I'd do it if I as able. They're my kids. As long as it wasn't a new emergncy every week.

[Pharah]

My ex and I have had joint custody, shared access since we separated in August 2008.

After separation, my ex took most of my son's furniture to her new place and I bought new. We split the toys.

As far as clothing, we each have a wardrobe for my son while he is with us and the clothing is exchanged periodically.

Transportation is the responsibility of the parent with whom he is currently residing.

[blinkandimgone]

Thanks for the replies. Right now, the NCP has decided they have the right to peruse the CP's home and choose what they want to take for the children to their new place even though all the furniture is currently being used and was owned by the CP before they got together. We're not talking anything extraordinary here, very simple things like a bed and dresser each that either belonged to the CP or were passed on by family. NCP is also demanding CP pay for furniture, clothing etc. for the children to have at their place in lieu of providing it from their current home.They don't have a lot and there is very little to spare so having extras to leave at the new place is a challenge for the CP.

I should also mention NCP has NOT paid any form of child support since they separated so CP feels it fair that the NCP take responsibility for stocking their own home with what they would need for the children. When the children stay with NCP, even overnight, they bring all their own things including bedding & towels etc and CP gets a huge pile of laundry in return.

They have approached the school and transportation department about bussing but so far have been told the children can only get transported to and from one location as they don't want to have to deal with keeping track of whose week is whose and potentially step into a liability situation if the kids don't end up where they're supposed to be. Basicly they've been told to choose one place for the children to get on and off the bus and make arrangements the rest of the time on their own. NCP is quite willing and able to drive them but wants the NCP to cover at least half of the transportation costs - even though NCP drives right past the school daily anyways.

My opinion was NCP was on their own to furnish the kids' rooms with what they needed, at least the basics anyways. I could see them bringing clothes and school things back and forth but aside from that NCP should be providing bedding and furniture for them and be responsible for any laundry etc generated at NCP's house instead of sending it home with the kids. Just thought I'd ask for others' opinions as well!

[Mess]

The way you describe it is barely amicable. The NCP has no business in the CPs home ever, for any reason unless invited. The furniture is the property of the CP and the NPC has no claim whatsoever, unless there was no equalization done at separation. If no equalization, then it would be fair to split half of ALL furnishings other than gifts to the CP from family.

As far as busing goes, you have to go with what the school board/bus company policy is. I'll mention that with us, when we had busing the bus dropped off at a neutral location. Our daughter was attending a program out of the neighbourhood and they dropped off at what would have been her local school.

In terms of who is responsible for costs, the parent whom the child is residing with that week is responsible for any and all costs, period. CS is paid to the parent to use as they see fit, if CS is going either way it pays for transportation at that home. The non-paying parent is responsible for all transportation costs when the child is with them.

The NPC is being childish about the transit costs. A judge or mediator would say "You go past the school anyway, what is the issue?" I assume the school is not near either parent and the CP has been getting busing? So the NPC feels that the transit is an extra cost that the CP should share. This is not something spelled out in law, it is subject to interpretation, analysis and compromise. The NPC isn't paying any extra costs from your description so there is nothing to split anyway.

[blinkandimgone]

To hang around with them, you'd think it was entirely amicable and you'd wonder why they even split - they seem to have a better relationship than many married couples I know. The only sticking point seems to be the finances, especially now that NCP has finally decided to take more time with the kids. At least they do a good job of keeping it away from the children. With no child support being paid, at least there's no doubt it isn't about the money so I guess that's a good sign.

There was no equalization done, NCP left with what he came into the marriage with and anything he purchased during the marriage, same for CP. The only things really accumulated during the marriage were things the CP inherited or was given by family when they downsized which pretty much furnished their home. The only assets between them are the house, CP has assumed the mortgage since the split, NCP was given a furnished house that is mortgage free. The house was previously inhabited by only one person ergo, only has one bed, dresser etc. IMO, it isn't too much at all to expect him to purchase furniture, even used furniture for the kids and supply them with some clothing as well for their time with him. But that's my opinion and I'm a little biased having watched her for years work her butt off to provide for them and rarely ever ask him for anything.

I agree he shouldn't be in the CP's house unless invited and she should get her keys back or have the locks changed. If things disappear she won't bother to fight over it but would like to head things off before they go in that direction.

The neutral drop off and pick up spot for the bus is a good idea and may be managable. The only concern with that I guess would be what happens if the bus doesn't come (they live in the country, it's happened a bunch of times) but as long as they have a place to get indoors to it should work out. I'll definately suggest it to her.

CP and the kids live a very modest life and are quite happy doing so, the kids are not lacking for anything unless you include an x-box or iphones, like all kids seem to want these days. I think things always seem so amicable between them because she refuses to engage with him over anything, especially money. She is very happy that he's decided he wants to spend more time with the children and they want that too. It should be a win-win situation for all but I can see her frustration in having to even try to explain to him that he can't have all he's asking for.

[beat_dead_dad]

We shared the 2 girls from the day we split week on week off. They were 3 and 7 . The only thing you really need to add to what they had was bed and dresser. Kids already have enough stuff to easily place some in each home and over time it always becomes enough to share with the whole block anyways.

When they were both going to school the bus only went to moms house so on my week I dropped them off there then went to work. They had to wait about half hour for the bus. After school I picked them up all the time and on moms week she just stopped by my house and grabbed them.

There is nothing you cant get through while sharing parenting as long as you always think of the children. 6 yrs now and we have never had any form of paperwork. A dream compared to the new ex.

[Mess]

Hey is this the guy that was coming over and jumping in bed?

[blinkandimgone]

It is said guy.

[Mess]

I should just come over with a 12" wrench and give him an attitude adjustment.

[blinkandimgone]

Agreed!!

[Ames]

When my ex and I did 50/50 in a week on week off rotation, we both had furniture at our houses. I left their bedroom furniture with him when we moved into a new place and the boys slept with me on the sofabed until we were able to purchase a bunkbed set (and eventually a bed for myself!)

We split their clothes and each had some at our own places.

For the bus, we continued with the bus stop that was currently being used. It was a farther drive for me, but on my weeks, I just made sure to be waiting at the bus stop before and after school. When the boys were with my ex, it was his responsibility to get them on and off the bus (though the stop was at the end of his street).

[InterprovincialParents]

When it comes to a 50/50 split, each parent is responsible for their own homes, and ensuring the children have what they need when they are there...plain and simple.

Kids will bring things from one house to the other, but in a spirit of cooperation and good parenting, those should travel home with the child at the end of the week.

If the parents live in the same school zone, bussing should not be an issue. However, if they do not, it is each parent's responsibility to ensure the child makes it to and from school.