Contempt Motion Tomorrow

[anotherSTEPmother]

Hello everyone, I have posted in the past but I wanted to get some advice/opinions about my partners court date for tomorrow.

On August 10, 2010 my partner and his ex drafted minutes to a settlement and had iit endorsed by a judge. She has violated 4 terms of this order (a couple of them repeatedly). They are:
1. not providing 30 days notice of a move
2. not providing the names of the adults living in the home with the child
3. causing adult conflict in the presence of the child
4. speaking ill of the other parent in front of the child

she did not file an affidavit to dispute with any of the evidence that he has provided which is not something he is disappointed about but can she bring anything to dispute tomorrow?

has anyone done this before, do you have any idea on how this will work tomorrow?

my partner is trying to make sure that his ex does not discredit the court order by establishing a status quo, he really gave in a lot in my opinion with the settlement so they could end the fighting but it seems she is ignoring the court order completely.

HELP!

[dadtotheend]

Good luck.

I fear that your partner is about to frustrated by the lack of teeth in enforcing the order. If he successful tomorrow, the judge is probably just going to look at Mom and tell her to abide by the order and that will be it. Your partner may be awarded costs but other consequences for Mom will be nil or next to nil.

The bright side is that if Mom continues to be in contempt and your partner continues to bring contempt motions, eventually the court will tire of her and other (i.e. custody) consequences may arise. But that is an if and only if this happens again...and again...and again...etc...and he brings contempt motions each time.

[anotherSTEPmother]

we are under the impression that there will be little to no consequences this time. And unfortunately for my partner and their child this will happen again and again, she seems to see the little to no consequence as permission to do what she wants.

do you know if this is heard like any other motion or the consequences of her not filing a response?

also, I forgot to ask before, if my partner has new evidence to file can he "walk it in" I have heard of others doing this before but don't know if the information that i have heard is accurate...

he is self represented by the way

[dadtotheend]

Depends on the judge as to what will happen if she doesn't respond or tries to walk in her materials, just as if you walk in materials.

The judge may or may not read the materials. May or not allow her or you to walk in materials. Depends on how many pints he/she had the night before

The upside to walking stuff in is that you take the other side by surprise. The downside is that the judge may not consider it or even read it.

[anotherSTEPmother]

So would that mean that if the judge says that nobody can walk anything in then essentially she will be unable to defend herself as she has not filed any documentation and the court date is tomorrow,

she lives almost directly across from the courthouse and we live about 1.5 hours away, she should have been able to get SOMETHING in by now.

I would think that either everyone or nobody will be able to walk things in...

[anotherSTEPmother]

has anyone else been to a contempt motion? Do you know of any case law that may be helpful in this case?

[dinkyface]

No experience, but I've been advised that it is better to come with a 'solution' that will prevent further contempt. i.e. instead of just coming and complaining, come armed with possible solutions to fix/prevent it (e.g. compensatory access, or third party handovers, or even a parenting assessment).

[anotherSTEPmother]

No experience, but I've been advised that it is better to come with a 'solution' that will prevent further contempt. i.e. instead of just coming and complaining, come armed with possible solutions to fix/prevent it (e.g. compensatory access, or third party handovers, or even a parenting assessment).

thank you what about this then:

for #1 - failure to provide 30days notice, compensatory access = perhaps additional day or so perhaps a couple weekends and extra week at christmas?

for #2 - failure to disclose adults: requirement for her to purge her contempt by disclosing the CORRECT information about the adults living in the home -

for #3 - child in adult conflict: we have already changed to 3rd party in the sense that I complete exchanges - as opposed to my partner to avoid conflict. she just continues to yell and scream anyways, i walk away and have NEVER yelled at her but it continues - I would say a parenting assessment would be sufficient for here

for #4 - speaking negatively in front of father - I would say parenting assessment again,

and costs for this which will be minimal, perhaps 1 days work for my partner, plus the cost of service and transportation?

[anotherSTEPmother]

Also I have one more related question, my partners ex had requested that I be the ONLY verbal form of communication (except for major health emergencies) and thinks that it is appropriate to discuss the court proceedings with me. I have in the past tried to help them and mediate but told her in August that I will no longer do this as she continuously yells at me for it.

Not quite sure but do you think that they could impose a change that she is not to communicate anything to me verbally except greetings and small stuff like when she says she really wants a certain shirt to come home or similar. That all custody access, changes or other occur in writing only via letter or email?

[rwm1273]

I would ask for an order that makes all communication be by email. This would prevent the ex from being able to argue with you or your partner. Also it will create a record of the communication for all to see.

I would also suggest that you find a different way to have the exchange take place. Is it possible to do the drop/pick ups at the school or daycare? This would also prevent any possible accusations of wrong doing in the future.

There is lots of case law dealing with contempt, but since it is your husband against his ex, the likelyhood of her being found in contempt is very low. DTTE is very correct in what most likely will happen.

I have only once had my ex found in contempt, and it was for failing to provide her financial disclosure, and it was the third time we were to court for that issue. All other contempt applications for her various other failures to abide by the access orders were never punished other than a stern warning to follow the order. But she never did, and the order was changed to make it more rigid, but still not followed, and now I have custody. (lots more to it than that, but her failing to follow orders most likely played a part in the change)

As for walking in new evidence, it may be permitted, or may not, depending on the judge. But if you show up and the ex has a huge whopper of an affidavit full of lies, you can either ask that it be struck, or ask for an adjournment to examine her on it. Check rule of the court 39 to see if this applies to your issue.

[anotherSTEPmother]

Hello everyone, so we went to the contempt motion today and she was able to get an adjournment. She got an adjournment because she said the legal aid office tole her to seek advice from duty council, she waited until today and obviously couldnt add her info so OF COURSE adjournment. The judge said that she didnt want this to be in appeal court so we wait until the next date.

The judge has also told us we should file a motion to change with the corresponding information. has anyone filled out one of these?

Apparently we might get costs. When we make a mistake they tell us it is our responsibility to educate us on the law as we do not have a lawyer. It seems she is above this but hopefully we get costs, at least salary for today.

Anymore advice from anyone?

[dadtotheend]

The judge has also told us we should file a motion to change with the corresponding information. has anyone filled out one of these?

Wasn't this done in preparation for your motion?

[MamaDM]

I'm sorry but I am wondering why the parent involved isn't the one asking the questions and seeking the knowledge if it is he who is self represented? A new spouse should not be involved in a case at all as no legal rights. Isn't that correct?

I am not asking to be mean here I am asking as a serious point of clarification as it relates to my own case as well.

[standing on the sidelines]

I'm sorry but I am wondering why the parent involved isn't the one asking the questions and seeking the knowledge if it is he who is self represented? A new spouse should not be involved in a case at all as no legal rights. Isn't that correct?

I am not asking to be mean here I am asking as a serious point of clarification as it relates to my own case as well.

Hard not to be involved when you are the new spouse. Some people just like to look for information to help their partners out. A custody hearing has an effect on the marriage/relationship with a new/current partner. The new partner may not have legal rights but it doesn't meant that they have to just sit back and not help their partner out.

[rwm1273]

If the new partner is involved, it may help them understand the dynamics of the problem, and help keep them from getting frustrated at how slow the process is, and will see first hand that their partner is in fact trying to do something to end the ongoing problem.

Many second marriages fail because the divorce proceedings drag on from the first divorce.