Tweet
My child recently told me that he was afraid of people when they were drinking. He said an incident happened at his fathers which made him even more afraid but he couldn't tell me because his father told him not to. So, here's how it runs down.
My child was subject to a full week of drunken nights at his dads. On normal weeks, dad drinks every day, and generally to intoxication on occassional evenings. On one of the evenings of the week, he was awoken in the middle of the night because one of dad's friends urinated on him while he slept. Every adult in the house was drunk, and my child crawled under his bed and slept there out of fear for the rest of the evening. The only comment from anyone was that he shouldn't tell as it might embarras the adult who urinated on him.
We called the Ministry for Children and Families who promptly advised that the children should not be allowed to spend the night at dad's anymore, and that day time visits are only allowed. My child is relieved at this as he has not wanted to stay with his dad in some time but has been forced to as dad refuses to let him live full time with me and we are stuck in a long drawn out court battle. So, after a week, my child is called into the Ministry office for another interview and is told that he has to go back to dad's because they have determined there is no risk as dad came up with a brilliant plan all on his own. He will no longer drink and his friend is not allowed to spend the night anymore. Additionally, the documents they told me they could provide for me to bring to court to get the children's custody order changed, suddenly cannot be provided as all of the investigation was done on dad and not on me, so he would need to request it. Fat chance of that happening. So it's wait for a court order for the report before we can do anything. Meanwhile, I am told by a co-worker to contact the RCMP as the event constituted indecent exposure and assault on my child. I contact the RCMP thinking at least maybe I will be able to get a report and speed up the court process a little. Wrong, I am told because the individual was excessively intoxicated and claims to have been sleep walking with his eyes open that they cannot do anything because there is no criminal intent.
So, at this point, this is what we are left with. The Ministry says it is my responsibility to ensure the environment is safe before I drop them off (so dad has to be sober for approximately 5 minutes every 2 weeks when I drop kids off), and that I should phone them each day to make sure that everything is OK and ask them if dad is drinking (OK, let's leave it up to the kids to snitch on dad, when they have already clearly been told by dad not to tell me anything). And when he does start drinking in the home again, I am permitted to go and get the kids and take them out of the home at which point the Ministry says they will re-evaluate as if he can't stay sober then he will probably have to go for counselling or something. Is it me, or isn't the situation sortof serious already?
Wow, I feel frustrated and not sure really what to do for my kids. Dad's place is obviously unsafe, the kids don't want to be there as much as they are, one child has already chosen to live with me, and the other wants to but is being prevented. Right now, it's as if the only option is to go the court route, which leaves my kids in limbo for months on end again.
Any advice from anyone out there who is dealing with this type of situation is greatly appreciated.
My child was subject to a full week of drunken nights at his dads. On normal weeks, dad drinks every day, and generally to intoxication on occassional evenings. On one of the evenings of the week, he was awoken in the middle of the night because one of dad's friends urinated on him while he slept. Every adult in the house was drunk, and my child crawled under his bed and slept there out of fear for the rest of the evening. The only comment from anyone was that he shouldn't tell as it might embarras the adult who urinated on him.
We called the Ministry for Children and Families who promptly advised that the children should not be allowed to spend the night at dad's anymore, and that day time visits are only allowed. My child is relieved at this as he has not wanted to stay with his dad in some time but has been forced to as dad refuses to let him live full time with me and we are stuck in a long drawn out court battle. So, after a week, my child is called into the Ministry office for another interview and is told that he has to go back to dad's because they have determined there is no risk as dad came up with a brilliant plan all on his own. He will no longer drink and his friend is not allowed to spend the night anymore. Additionally, the documents they told me they could provide for me to bring to court to get the children's custody order changed, suddenly cannot be provided as all of the investigation was done on dad and not on me, so he would need to request it. Fat chance of that happening. So it's wait for a court order for the report before we can do anything. Meanwhile, I am told by a co-worker to contact the RCMP as the event constituted indecent exposure and assault on my child. I contact the RCMP thinking at least maybe I will be able to get a report and speed up the court process a little. Wrong, I am told because the individual was excessively intoxicated and claims to have been sleep walking with his eyes open that they cannot do anything because there is no criminal intent.
So, at this point, this is what we are left with. The Ministry says it is my responsibility to ensure the environment is safe before I drop them off (so dad has to be sober for approximately 5 minutes every 2 weeks when I drop kids off), and that I should phone them each day to make sure that everything is OK and ask them if dad is drinking (OK, let's leave it up to the kids to snitch on dad, when they have already clearly been told by dad not to tell me anything). And when he does start drinking in the home again, I am permitted to go and get the kids and take them out of the home at which point the Ministry says they will re-evaluate as if he can't stay sober then he will probably have to go for counselling or something. Is it me, or isn't the situation sortof serious already?
Wow, I feel frustrated and not sure really what to do for my kids. Dad's place is obviously unsafe, the kids don't want to be there as much as they are, one child has already chosen to live with me, and the other wants to but is being prevented. Right now, it's as if the only option is to go the court route, which leaves my kids in limbo for months on end again.
Any advice from anyone out there who is dealing with this type of situation is greatly appreciated.
Comment