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  • distance allowable

    I have a question about living distance between both parents...Sorry if this has been asked before but none of the current threads have the answer...Is there a max distance a parent can move before the courts will get involved?i can't see a problem if one parent lives the next city over,what is to much when a controlling x partner is asking to much?..ppk should be able to decide for themselves what's a decent distance b4 taking up courts time on where the diff is 5 to 25 min drive...or am i to naive?

  • #2
    if you both agree in writing the court is likely to uphold any reasonable decision. If you don't agree though, and one parent takes it to court, plan on living closeby.

    My ex and I live 90 mins drive apart. Our daughter will be going to school in between our homes (where we both work). They were not concerned with the drive, as it was part of our family routine prior to separation. They just wanted to know that we both agreed.

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    • #3
      I've been looking at this issue as I moved about 30 minutes (about 33 km) away from my exwife when we seperated and we have shared custody just through mediation.

      I rent a farmhouse, that was fully furnished, with 1½ acres of property and the landlord cuts the grass. The monthly rent is way cheaper than anything I could get in the city (even a 2 bedroom apartment) and the kids love it here, so I'm very keen on staying. However, my ex is using the distance as a barganing chip (sadly at the expense of our kids happiness)

      Our kids are young, but my son started school in September and since I have our two kids on Sun/Mon/Tue and Wed morning I need to drive him to school which is a 30 min drive. I'm happy to do all the driving as the money I save on rent more than pays for the gas, plus I work about 5 minutes from the school so I have to commute some days anyway. However my ex seems to believe that I'm too far and the driving is making the kids tired. I very much disagree.

      Here are some facts that may help others who are dealing with this issue, but I'd also like to hear other peoples opinions on this as my ex is threatening to take full custody because she thinks I live too far away.

      The local school board (and number of others I checked) say that the maximum allowable time a child can spend on a bus is 1 hour, each way. That's 2 hours per day. My son only spends 1 hour a day (30 min each way) in the car with me, which we talk about his day - healthy I think.

      In a large city, it can easily take 30 minutes to cross. But the key is that if it would take 20 minutes to transport the kids in the city, each way, that's only a difference of 10 minutes (30 -20 = 10 extra minutes) each way. I would really hope that a judge wouldn't break a family up for an extra 20 minutes of driving per day.

      Finally, I've never dropped my son off late for school and as I said above I do all the driving (even dropping off and picking up on our switch over days).

      Does anyone have a similar situation that they could share their experience? Or does anyone live farther than 30km and commute their kids to school?

      Comment


      • #4
        my x moved 90mins away, old madam
        Judge who probably couldn't drive that
        far herself could care less.

        a work friend had his x and kids move to
        US/Houston, so it's as predictable as the
        wind

        here in Calgary I believe a mother can move anywhere she wants n 5% chance Judge will do anything about it

        the 50/50 2 parents sales brochure for family law keeps dads shoveling money into a system
        in which they are viewed as second choice

        I am in Calgary Alberta Canada the last stronghold of a 'mothers only legal system

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by minefield View Post
          I've been looking at this issue as I moved about 30 minutes (about 33 km) away from my exwife when we seperated and we have shared custody just through mediation.

          I rent a farmhouse, that was fully furnished, with 1½ acres of property and the landlord cuts the grass. The monthly rent is way cheaper than anything I could get in the city (even a 2 bedroom apartment) and the kids love it here, so I'm very keen on staying. However, my ex is using the distance as a barganing chip (sadly at the expense of our kids happiness)

          Our kids are young, but my son started school in September and since I have our two kids on Sun/Mon/Tue and Wed morning I need to drive him to school which is a 30 min drive. I'm happy to do all the driving as the money I save on rent more than pays for the gas, plus I work about 5 minutes from the school so I have to commute some days anyway. However my ex seems to believe that I'm too far and the driving is making the kids tired. I very much disagree.

          Here are some facts that may help others who are dealing with this issue, but I'd also like to hear other peoples opinions on this as my ex is threatening to take full custody because she thinks I live too far away
          I doubt that she can take full custody on this issue. I would ignore her and keep doing what you are doing. It sounds like you are doing the right things for your children, and that is all that counts. You can live where you want and as you are the one doing all the driving it has nothing to do with her.

          Comment


          • #6
            Nothing will happen, however you will be moving out of the school district. I assume she lives in the school district now.

            This would be a disadvantage to you as it would make her house the primary residence for the child(ren). Then, if she wanted to move at a later date, the children's school would have to change.

            The school boards don't follow family law rules and have their own. You would need an exception from the school board to keep the kids in the school since you both don't live in it.

            If the school board says no, the child(ren) have to change schools, then a judge will have to decide for you since you live 1 hour apart now which school the kids will attend. Since mom is the primary residence a judge may lean more her way.

            Furthermore, how will you decide what high school the kids will attend? This might not be an issue but something to consider.

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            • #7
              Thread is about 4 years old and OP hasn't posted since.....

              Comment


              • #8
                wow...did not see that.

                It would be interesting to know what a judge would decide when both parents live in the same city close by but in different school districts and the parent whom lives inside the school district moves to a different city, say 30 minutes away.

                If the school board demands the child switch schools and the parents can't decide together, how would a judge decide what school the kid goes too? Let's assume the parent whom moved was for no reason other than wanting a different or larger home.

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                • #9
                  Lol. Nor did I. Really need to wear my glasses when using the computer.

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                  • #10
                    But it was interesting. As we are now faced with a dilemma. Ex has moved ro another area of the city and therefore when Mom travels down to facilitate visits she usually stays with some friends. But now the distance is 1 hour longer than the usual 45 mins travel time. Is she responsible to find somewhere else to stay, or to make the extra travel time her responsibility.

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                    • #11
                      The parent who moves is generally the one responsible for any extra travelling time. The non-moving parent should not be adversely effected by the moving parents decision to relocate further away.

                      Comment

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