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  • Advice on extended travel:(spouse) child out of country

    We've agreed to joint custody of my 8 yr. old son.

    However my wife wants to be able to take him to her country of origin for up to 6 months.I am not against this...BUT I just need to make sure I can get over there during that time to stay in his life.

    She is very traditional and I doubt she would want to let him spend 3 of those 6 months in Canada with me. So... I would go there.If it were a 6 month period I would want to spend a 'minimum' of 2 months there.

    My concern is my loss of work(in Canada) and paying a hotel for 2 months.She is refusing to contribute financially to any of that...or at least 'commit' to the idea.It's about as far as you can go from here too.

    On the emotional level: the longest I've been away from him has been 6 weeks..and...around that point I know he and I really start to miss one another.

    Anybody with similar experience?

    M

  • #2
    If you let her live in another country for 6 months with your child, which in of itself is wrong for her to want to take him away from you, you are seriously risking loosing access to him forever. I would not allow such an arrangement, the risk is too great and also, who wants to be away from their child for that long.

    She has to realize her situation does not necessarily allow for such a life.

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    • #3
      I have a long distance custody arrangement, but the longest the kids are out of Canada is about a month in summer which may move up to six weeks when they are older.

      Is the country your wife wants to go to a Hague convention country? If not, be very careful. Also, what are your rights as a parent in that country? you really need to know this.

      Six months is a long time, how is this going to work out with his schooling?
      My worry your situation would be that your wife might argue after six months in country 'x' that he has adjusted well, is involved in school, extended family and now should stay there (with her). Do you have the money to fight this if she were to try such a thing? Do you speak the language in the country they would be going to?

      Honestly, if your son hasn't been away from you for more than six weeks then that sounds like a resonable amount of time for him to be away, and it wouldn't be a problem with school if it happened in the summer.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Daba View Post
        Is the country your wife wants to go to a Hague convention country? If not, be very careful. Also, what are your rights as a parent in that country? you really need to know this.
        Hague convention doesn't guarantee that the country sticks to its regulations. for example Germany has a bad reputation of allowing its citizens to kidnap the kids and grant them the citizenship so that the fathers no longer have access to the kids. I'm very weary of this as my wife is from Germany and she wants to live there instead of here in Canada.

        and remember that she can decide to stay there forever and file divorce in that country. I'm very interested in following your case. please keep posting.

        good luck!

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        • #5
          Get a court order for shared custody, and your wife won't get a chance to leave, unless she's leaving alone without kids. Don't agree to your ex-wife's plan. She'll ruin your life and life of your children.

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          • #6
            Thanks everyone-im just thinking bout all this and will post more later!

            M

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