Finding Proof of Living Arangement

[Aghast]

Hi Guys,

It has been a while since I have been here, but I am back in court again. A Motion to change.

Thank you in advance for your help


Ex is making a lot more than she was at Trial. In 2018 one child is with me 100%, two children 50/50. As time goes on they all move in with me 100%. Ex is unreasonable so we have to file a Motion to Change. I just got her reply and she is stating that one child lives with her 100% and one is 50/50. The third is now an adult.

My question is, what is some evidence I can use to prove that they live with me. Apparently the court does not like a child to state where they live, even if that child is 21. Can a child, who is no longer a child of the marriage, be a witness? I have a friend and my mother, but I imagine there is not a lot of weight there. I am thinking of contacting an ex-girlfriend. (Is that worth it?).
Here is a list of people I am thinking of:
A friend of my 21 year old. (She is also 21)
The boyfriend of my 21 year old (He is 22)
A mother of a friend of my 16 year old. (She is a friend of my ex, not that close I don't think)
My ex's father (I'm still pondering this one, I don't think he would lie, but who knows. How should I approach this? Have a 3rd party ask if he would testify?)

Is there anyone on this list that I shouldn't ask? How should I approach the people I would like to ask? I am thinking of asking the 16 year old's Vice Principal and asking what his understanding of the living arrangement is. (should I do this?)

I have a text message of my ex admitting that the 16 year old lives with me, but she is going to argue that the 21 year old lives with her 50% (This is the child that she states lives with her full time in her response). Is that worth anything?

Any other ideas of how I can get proof? Has anyone else had to deal with this?

[blinkandimgone]

What is the registered home address for school? Doctor? Health card? Driver's license for the 16 year old if they have one?

[rockscan]

What blink said. All those addresses will be great evidence.

Also, if the 21 year old isn't in school then it doesn't matter where they live.

[StillPaying]

Apologies for the previous comments as you know they don't help your motion to change. Blink's is more for newly separated folks and cra. RS just didn't read your post properly.

You could very much get your kids to write letters as they are old enough; doctors, school or anyone else your kids shared their new schedule with. Calendars, security cams, photos, receipts are also used. Get your ex to confirm certain dates with child, then use your evidence to show those dates were lies. Get access sorted out, then the support will follow. However with the income increase, your support should improve even if you access stayed the same.

[Aghast]

Thank you for your prompt responses. I will look into those ideas.
How do you use receipts? There are no addresses on them except for maybe a couple. Do you mean have those receipts to show the child wasn't with the ex on certain dates that she says they were?

Any other ideas or experiences would be appreciated. Its probably overkill but I'm dealing with a chronic liar so I like to have an airtight case.

Thank you

[StillPaying]

Know your dates - when it changed, current schedule, future plans. The longer the change the better. Then file your mtc.

The only thing you need is a letter from the children confirming your claim. I would also include a sentence listing the others who could provide letters if needed.

The rest of your case is updating child support with proper incomes.

[noteasy]

I feel for your frustration and worry over this.

Affidavits from others are good. What they know and why and how they know this.
-School records are ok but open to manipulation.
-emails with exchange times etc
-OCL. Can’t believe I said that as it can lead to problems but they get to talk to the kids and a VOC can work.
-dated pictures. Pictures of their rooms. Again OCL may help with this.

-doctor appointment notes, who takes/pays for their meds and dental.

Really the only surefire thing I can think of is the OCL and voice of the child.

warning. I don’t have experience arguing this in court.

[rockscan]

You could have sworn affidavits from the children related to where they live. A judge will accept that.

Is the 21 year old in school full time? If not then it doesn't matter where they live as they are not eligible for support.

Another approach you could take is that you make an offer to adjust retroactive support less than what you want but adjust going forward. She will fight it if the retro award is high in your favour. By reducing retroactive you may be a negotiating tactic.

If the kids plan to live with you full time in the future you will need a clause to deal with that. The onus is on you to prove they live with you as you made the claim.

[Aghast]

I didn't think Judges wanted children involved at all. Will they accept an Affidavit? Even if they are frowning on the idea of it? Can a 16 or 17 year old swear an affidavit? Will a text message be allowed to be entered as evidence? ( ... yes [child 1] is with you but [child 2] I will argue is here all the time...) The background is that child 1 was 50/50 and child 2 is 100% with me as per an Order.

Child 2 does spend time at ex's, she goes there with her bf to "watch a movie" late at night for 2-3hrs 3-4 times a week. Her mother usually isn't home and she doesn't eat or use anything except watching the TV. She stays overnight about 7 days a month on average. Child 1, the odd time when her mother invites the child's friend to sleep over.

21 year old is in university, but there will be retro as well, because income has changed drastically. (I will post about that in the Finance forum) Edit: I may not post about this, there is a lot of info already on the Forum after I did a search for self-employed.

The sweet offer will take place. It will be an offer that she couldn't dream of winning in Court. I just want this over with.

Thanks again for the advice. It is helpful both for my mental health and for ideas to gather proof.

[rockscan]

If the kids are teens I believe they can swear an affidavit. They would be able to testify at trial so an affidavit will be accepted.

Ask yourself what evidence she will say she has to prove they are with her. That will help. It would be in her reply as attachments.

Like I said, make an offer and see where it goes. Include future expenses and support and reduce the amount of retro. It may compel her to accept that things have changed.

You will also get info from the judge at the first conference which should steer you in the right direction.

[Aghast]

I will make an offer, but I'm dealing with someone who is unreasonable. Child 1 stayed at her place for a week last month and now we are 50/50. So I just want to leave no doubt. No doubt and a good offer may end this. This is a person who is will to spend $20,000 to win a dime. (I'm not even kidding.)