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Restored faith in Family law and important updates after the settlement conference

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  • Restored faith in Family law and important updates after the settlement conference

    Hello all,

    Thanks for all your help. Last week, I have finally received the final order. My ex agreed to settle. Thanks to the Judge and my new lawyer.
    We had a settlement conference. The Judge said – it is all going to end today. The Judge told my ex that you are good at hiding money under your mattress. Now you are saying g you are self employed. But last time when you were here, you were a full time employee.
    Judge realized finally that the ex was not interested in child.
    My ex's lawyer said:
    1. My client is categorically against the 48 hours notice, as it it his child too and he has a right to see her whenever he wants. Judge responded back: too bad. Because it is going to stay. (IT did)
    2. Ex wanted every Saturday, the Judge said no, every second Saturday and 4 hours only.
    3. We have given him every Tuesday as an option for a visit, which he categorically refused in front of Judge. We still kept it. The Judge told him, we can have it in case if you have a down time and decide to see the child. Every second Saturday Is a must.
    Our position:
    1. Sole Custody (granted)
    2. Travel without consent (granted)
    3. Obtaining documents without consent (granted)
    4. Since the Father continues hiding his address, he cannot remove the child out of GTA (granted)
    1. He does not have a place for a child. So he does not want
    2. The father can have long weekends with child, but if the visits are short, a make up time can be offered. The father refused to spend any holiday with child. So all weekends, vacations, holidays are mine.
    Child support:
    1. The Judge told him that he should settle. If he goes to court and the mother proves that you make more money, you will end up paying for her legal costs, penalty and many more. It will be up to the Judge. Do you want her lawyer to go through your statements and have this entire mess started?
    2. The Judge asked hi. How much he was already paying monthly, he said, including daycare fees, it was $984. (No daycare fees were paid for Dec, due to government credit. Father failed to pay the child support altogether. The judge noted that too).
    3. The Judge said, I don’t need a trial to realize that you are already making minimum 80K annually.
    4. My ex said, he is willing g to pay $450 annually towards the special expenses and 500 in child support. The Judge said, since you had money and you have, continue paying 450 dollars monthly. Under the pressure and the promise that no one will check his statements, he agreed to pay 989 dollars monthly. The Judge said, he should pay this amount the next 4 years. And he will revisiting it after 4 years.

    Now what happened next, I hope you help me with your wise guidance:
    1. He has not seen the child for 42 days.
    2. He skips visits and does not see the child on every second Saturday, as he should.
    3. But decided to use Tuesdays, once in a while. After 42 days, he decided to see the child for 3 hours. On Tuesday, which he was objecting to during the settlement conference.
    My question: Tuesdays were optional but every second Saturday Is a must. Can he just opt out Saturdays, and not show up altogether, and use Tuesdays instead, say, every 2 or 3 months. The child is already realizing something is not right. All daddy’s picking up their kids from daycare , she has only Mommy. I don’t believe it’s good for her when her parent shows up when it’s convenient to hi., while the child will be left heartbroken for another 42 days or more.

    What is the best action in this case?

  • #2
    You can't force him to exercise his parenting time.

    Just document for the next 6 to 12 months when he does and doesn't exercise his time. If he doesn't use the majority of it, use that info to modify the arrangement. There is no sense waiting around for him to show up on weekends and not being able to make plans.


    • #3
      Yes, your response makes sense. That's what I am going to do.

      Sadly, he cancelled the visit today, 4 hours before his parenting time.

      Thanks again.


      • #4
        At least he told you early enough rather than have everything ready and waiting!

        Don't tell your daughter he is coming. That way she won't get disappointed. Eventually you may meet someone who wants to be a parent to her but until then, simply live your life. You can't force him to parent and there is no sense getting upset or angry!


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