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Shared bedrooms - not siblings or half siblings

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  • Janus
    Unfortunately, part of getting divorced is losing the ability to control the parenting your children receive when under the care of the other parent.

    If the other parent is not acting appropriately, you generally have three options:

    1) Speak to the other parent
    2) Call in CAS
    3) Go to court and try to change custody

    1. This one is best, but with divorced parents it is often completely ineffective. It is not impossible that there could be a rebound effect where the other parent doubles down on the behaviour you don't like as a means of annoying you.

    2. Destroys any coparenting relationship you might have, possibly traumatic to the child. Also, absent actual abuse, I don't imagine CAS actually taking any action in this case.

    3. Destroys any coparenting relationship you might have, potentially very expensive, and very unlikely to get a change in custody over a disagreement over sleeping arrangements.

    So, given that all options suck, what to do? The answer of course is to have many conversations with your daughter. Make sure she has the proper vocabulary to express her discomfort. Make sure she knows about good touch and bad touch. There are many good books you can read with her. An educated child is a much safer child.

    That said, this is a very low risk situation. Odds are that she is fine and that eventually she is going to complain about not having her own room. Families often put kids together in rooms, it is not the end of the world.

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  • Shared bedrooms - not siblings or half siblings

    Shared 50/50 access and decision making of 6 yr old girl. The other parent has partner move in with their child (boy 9 year old). The kids never met before until they moved in. The other parent made the kid switch her own bedroom (she has had the bedroom since birth) to move into another bedroom with the boy. They are now sleeping on a bunk bed and share the same room. Her own room has been turned into a guest bed and is vacant.
    Parenting coordinator talked to the other parent to try and make them realize its wrong but the other parent is adamant that its not "illegal" for them to do so.
    What options do I have? Am I waiting for something inappropriate to happen before anything can be done about it? This is a permanent arrangement and not someone visiting them.
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