Court ordered remedies?

[Hide on Bush]

Is an appropriate offer one that includes the same terms I am seeking through my motion minus the seeking of costs?

[pinkHouses]

Shorter, drop all narrative. What you think is not important to them. Take it out.

Don't say this is not possible so I am selecting this other thing. Just select the other thing.

If you are correcting them them say, I called x and they informed me what you asked is not possible, please send your reference to consider. As an alternate....


Shorter

[rockscan]

Still too wordy

Dear [Opposing Counsel]

[Introduction text]KEEP IT SHORT

CAS does not offer mediation between a parent and child. Further, the issue is not between myself and your client.

Will your client participate in therapy with [the child]? If yes, here are the names and numbers of three counsellors able to conduct parent/child therapy. I will only agree to one of these three named practitioners.

Should your client agree we can work on a temporary agreement outlining terms. If I do not hear from you by DATE, I will file an updated motion for therapy at your client’s cost.

Now I am just trying to find wording that will allow for an agreement that my Ex won't keep showing up to try and pick up my Son without using "temporary suspension of parenting-time" as OP refuses to agree to it.

I would call your local police non emergency line and ask a question about this. Tell them you arent looking for support for a parenting order, just that you are concerned this might be harassment.

Can I request a written agreement saying my ex wont try and pick up my Son until deemed appropriate through the therapist and that he will not seek repercussions through the court in doing so?

If you get an order to suspend parenting time the language would be included that he cant go within a certain amount of feet etc.

I also want to add that at the conclusion of the therapy, any lost parenting-time would be made up. I just don't know how to word it.

I am a very wordy person. I will freely admit to that. I like to express as much information as I can.

The only thing OP has stated was Child Protection Mediation however as of yesterday, my ex has told me he is not going to do it. I have mentioned this to OP a few times with zero acknowledgment.

Would supervised access be more appropriate than a temporary suspension access until son can conduct therapy and ex can complete various courses?

I am not trying to stick it to my ex, I am just trying to find the most appropriate solutions to this problem.

None of this is needed.

[Hide on Bush]

Here is the start to the new Offer to Settle I was going to send after finding out CAS cannot do mediation between a child and parent AND my ex denied mediation through CAS.

Dear [Opposing Counsel]

[Introduction text]

Part of the Order I am seeking through my motion is reunification therapy between [the child] and your client. Due to the high cost of reunification therapy ranging in the $12,000 - $15,000 range, I am resorting to seeking that that through an Order as a last resort. What I am asking is if your client would be willing to participate in therapy with [the child]? I know your client sought to conduct therapy through [Ex's counsellor], however, while she may be qualified to assist your client, she is not qualified in dealing while child related matters, especially as it relates to reunification. As such, below is my Offer to Settle:

1. Both parties shall facilitate the participation of [the child] in therapy, the object of which will be to re-establish a meaningful relationship between Jackson and your client;

2. by no later than May 31, 2022 your client shall provide to me the qualifications, rates and details as to the availability of the three therapists proposed by your client, and his choice of therapist. At that time, I shall have seven days from the receipt of your clients information (as above) to consider whether I agree with his choice. This selection shall be binding until further Ordered;

3. Both parties shall sign the therapist’s agreement. Both parties shall pay fifty per cent (50%) of any initial financial retainer required by the therapist within ten (10) days of the date that the therapist sends his/her retainer to them. Until further Order of the court, both parties shall pay any further retainer as the therapist may require within two weeks of the date of any such request;

4. Both parties shall comply with all of the conditions of the therapist’s agreement;

5. until further Ordered I shall be responsible for transporting or facilitating the transport of [the child] to and from their appointments with the therapist;

6. in the event that either party fails to pay his or her share of the costs of the therapist’s further retainer, the Order will be deemed as breached;

7. the involvement of the therapist shall continue until further Order or until the therapist deems that it is not in the best interests of [the child] to continue with the process in which event the therapist shall immediately submit their report stating that claim;

8. the therapist may interview other professionals or persons deemed necessary. Both parties shall sign any releases that may be requested by the therapist within three (3) days of the request being made whether the request is made in writing or otherwise;

9. the therapist shall have the authority to determine and recommend to both parties a timeline for access for [the child] with your client, including telephone and other electronic contact;

10. Both parties shall refrain from scheduling any activities or lessons for [the child] which would interfere with the therapist’s scheduled times with [the child]. It is understood that in order to facilitate the therapist’s schedule, [the child] may have to miss school or other organized activity to attend therapy;

11. neither party shall discuss any aspect of the therapy process with [the child] unless first discussed with and approved by, or directed to do so by, the therapist. Without limiting its generality, such information should be restricted to the purpose of the therapy, the therapeutic process, confidentiality, and the role of the therapist;

12. the therapist shall have the authority to engage additional professionals as he or she deems necessary to assist in this process and any such professional’s fees shall be paid by the therapist out of their financial retainer. The therapist may recommend other persons to facilitate and assist in implementing a parenting schedule for [the child]; and

13. neither party nor any other person who participates in the therapeutic reintegration process shall record any aspect of the therapy unless that has been specifically agreed in writing, and in advance, by the therapist.


Now I am just trying to find wording that will allow for an agreement that my Ex won't keep showing up to try and pick up my Son without using "temporary suspension of parenting-time" as OP refuses to agree to it.

Can I request a written agreement saying my ex wont try and pick up my Son until deemed appropriate through the therapist and that he will not seek repercussions through the court in doing so?

I also want to add that at the conclusion of the therapy, any lost parenting-time would be made up. I just don't know how to word it.

Your biggest problem is you are way too wordy. Keep it simple. Did they propose a solution? Another option? A suggestion? Have you looked up a few therapists?

Suggestion�

Dear opposing counsel,

Based on the current situation between your client and our son, I have conducted some research and found the following therapists who specialize in reunification type therapy and/or parent child relationships. Here are the names and numbers. I will ensure our son is in attendance at sessions with his father and one of these therapists. Please provide details on who he has chosen and the appointment times.

I welcome any other suggestions for discussion however I will not participate in dispute resolution recommended by your client as it will not resolve the problems between him and our son.

If I do not hear from you or your client within a week on this offer I will seek an order for supervised access and other measures the court deems appropriate.

I am a very wordy person. I will freely admit to that. I like to express as much information as I can.

The only thing OP has stated was Child Protection Mediation however as of yesterday, my ex has told me he is not going to do it. I have mentioned this to OP a few times with zero acknowledgment.

Would supervised access be more appropriate than a temporary suspension access until son can conduct therapy and ex can complete various courses?

I am not trying to stick it to my ex, I am just trying to find the most appropriate solutions to this problem.

[rockscan]

Your biggest problem is you are way too wordy. Keep it simple. Did they propose a solution? Another option? A suggestion? Have you looked up a few therapists?

Suggestion…

Dear opposing counsel,

Based on the current situation between your client and our son, I have conducted some research and found the following therapists who specialize in reunification type therapy and/or parent child relationships. Here are the names and numbers. I will ensure our son is in attendance at sessions with his father and one of these therapists. Please provide details on who he has chosen and the appointment times.

I welcome any other suggestions for discussion however I will not participate in dispute resolution recommended by your client as it will not resolve the problems between him and our son.

If I do not hear from you or your client within a week on this offer I will seek an order for supervised access and other measures the court deems appropriate.

[Hide on Bush]

I don't know enough on this subject but there is a form for making offers and it includes the legal terms presented. You can sent of many at the same time and make sections severable..


I am hoping others here will state what is required for an effective offer.

I could be wrong but when I reviewed previous posts it was saying offers could be done through anything (email, letter, template, even a piece of paper)

I’ve never received one from OP so I was going off of a formal looking letter

[pinkHouses]

I don't know enough on this subject but there is a form for making offers and it includes the legal terms presented. You can sent of many at the same time and make sections severable..


I am hoping others here will state what is required for an effective offer.

[Hide on Bush]

Create your settlement offers.
If you want to post them here that would be an interesting read.

Here is my most recent one

Dear [Opposing Counsel],

You recently informed me in an email that your client has been, and is currently willing to come to an agreement to remedy this matter outside of the courtroom. It is my belief based on your clients last message to me that the only agreement he is willing to partake in, is paid, private Alternative Dispute Mediation between your client and I and not Child Protection Mediation through Family and Children's Services. As I have stated previously, even if your client’s relationship with me was in pristine condition, [the child's] feeling would remain the same. However, I am still willing to partake in Child Protection mediation.

In order to shift the focus around improving [the child's] mental health thus his relationship with your client, I had made an offer to settle in which would require your client to temporarily suspend his parenting-time while we await [the child] to obtain mental health assistance. While this assistance was in the works, your client and I would resume child protection mediation through Family and Children’s Services. Your client denied that offer.

My new offer, which will remain active along with my other, until five minutes after the commencement of the motion hearing is this:

1.Your client and [the child] conduct Alternative Dispute Resolution through the assistance of Family and Children’s Services. During this process, your client’s parenting-time will be suspended until such time as [the child] decides to return with your client on his own free will.

It should be noted that presently, [the child] is unilaterally refusing to partake in any form of communication and parenting-time with your client. Your client’s current plan of solely parking outside of my residence or my parents residence causing a scene has not been shown as effective. On the contrary, as expected, it has made matters worse as shown today when your client ambushed [the child] when he was playing outside with his Sister and Grandmother which turned into a public argument resulting in your client dismissing [the child's] feelings. Your client and [the child] need to handle their matters in a controlled environment with qualified individuals whose sole job is to act in [the child's] best interest. This is why my recommendation for mediation is through Family and Children’s Services and not [my ex's counsellor] as your client previously requested.

As it is my belief the Court is unable to Order a parent to conduct mediation, and it is highly unlikely the Office of the Children’s Lawyer will reevaluate their stance, if your client in unwilling to participate, I am going to seek the Court to order a suspension of parenting-time and for your client to undergo various parenting-classes while [the child] obtains therapy in order to get the same result as ADR through FACS would obtain.

The current situation we are currently in has been in the foresight of various people, from [the child's] counselors, to CAS, to even myself. So many individuals have told your client his current behavior would push [the child] to this point and here we are now. Everyone from my husband, myself, [the child's counsellor], [the child's principal], [the child's teacher], and my entire family have been doing what we can to return [the child] to a point where he will return to visits with your client. It even came to a point where all [the child] wanted was a letter from your client in which, to this date, he still refuses to do.

The current course of action is not working. Alternative Dispute Resolution between your client and I will not alter [the child's] current mental state as I have been advocating for your client despite his inaction. I have been trying to cross the fine line in which [the child] is claiming emotional abuse and resorting to self-harm if he is to return to your client, with getting [the child] to a position where he feels safe to return, all while your client is unwilling to participate and solely blaming a difference in parenting styles. This is why I continue to offer Child Protection mediation. We both know, and common sense would dictate, that a Judge would not order a child claiming emotional abuse and a risk of suicide to reside with that parent. With the current climate, through your client’s inaction, [the child] is escalating to a point where his desire to return to visits with your client will diminish completely and a court order will not change that.

This matter needs to be handled appropriately now before we cross the point of no return which is becoming drastically closer. Another factor that has made this matter exponentially more difficult is your client directing me to contact you for all of these matters, and you not responding. I understand you are busy, and as such I would hope you would counsel your client in his ability to co-parent with me on this, or have more timely responses.

Sincerely,

Hide on bush


This offer was denied this morning.

[pinkHouses]

Create your settlement offers.
If you want to post them here that would be an interesting read.
Bundle them up an send them to your exes lawyer.
Do that before filing a motion, you have time.

You paying for mediation is likely going to be a waste of money, they already reneged.

[Hide on Bush]

This was not necessary.

I'm a mom who has struggled with getting my child to attend parenting time. Lucky for me OCL sided in my favour and now dad time is EOW. Its still a struggle and unless you know what that's like (bases on this post I will assume you don't) don't make those types of comments.

Multiple threads, whatever !! Sounds like she has done pretty much everything she can think of to get her kid to go.

I was hoping for OCL to get involved but they denied both requests. I am beginning to run out of ideas to a point where I will have no other option than either do nothing and continue to let my 10yo dictate access, or get the court to step in.

[LMum]

Unable to get a 10 year old to follow rules, speaks more towards mum than dad.

This was not necessary.

I'm a mom who has struggled with getting my child to attend parenting time. Lucky for me OCL sided in my favour and now dad time is EOW. Its still a struggle and unless you know what that's like (bases on this post I will assume you don't) don't make those types of comments.

Multiple threads, whatever !! Sounds like she has done pretty much everything she can think of to get her kid to go.

[Hide on Bush]

I truly believe it is OP that requires the parenting course. Through multiple accounts and stories, they've been trying to move away from ex. Unable to get a 10 year old to follow rules, speaks more towards mum than dad.

Not to be confrontational, but if my Son is refusing to go with his Father because he is claiming he doesn't feel safe due to being abused, what would you like me to do?

I have;

- Got my Son into counselling

- Got my Son referred to a child therapist (8 month wait)

- Got my Son referred to a child psychiatrist (10 month wait)

- Offered mediation through FACS (denied by Father)

- Have conducted counselling on my own to obtain tools to ensure I am portraying a positive environment for my child to want to return to his Father

- I have bribed him to go with his Father (prior to the abuse claims) which had no results

- I had punished him if he didn't go (again prior to abuse claims) and FACS scolded me for that in their report

- I have worked with my Son's school to ensure on the days he is supposed to go with his Father, he is afforded time to speak with his counsellor.

- I have convinced my Son to due mediation with his Father. Father denied to do it.

- I am now trying to find family therapy services to remedy this matter

All prior to me engaging the courts.

What else can I do? It needs to be noted that:

a) there was a third party report to FACS in which allegations of emotional abuse were expressed

b) FACS noted in their report there were signs of emotional abuse by the Father

c) Son has stated he will kill himself if he is forced to go with his father

d) I have sought tons of services to try and help my Son

e) Father is not willing to do anything other than continue to show up during his access and essentially sit there as he is ignored by my son.

Explain how parenting courses will assist me in doing any more for my son than I have been?

Also I have not been actively trying to move away at all. All I sought was the option to. For 7 years, that option was available to both parties to move anywhere in the province of Ontario. In 2019, my ex asked to restrict it to a 100km radius as he said he would try and be more involved in my son's life. Since 2019, he has spent even less time with him, and we are at this point now.

Again, me seeking the radius restrictions to be lifted is to afford me the opportunity to move. Further, as a caveat to the lifting of those restrictions, I offered my ex to have every single weekend (from every other weekend) and I would conduct all of the travel for the access exchanges. Additionally, I offered my ex to have the full summer vacation with my son rather than 1 week, in addition to other holidays in which he did not already have.

[StillPaying]

I truly believe it is OP that requires the parenting course. Through multiple accounts and stories, they've been trying to move away from ex. Unable to get a 10 year old to follow rules, speaks more towards mum than dad.

[arbortrail22]

Everyone in the family participates- some sessions 1:1 and then group sessions too.
The fees are most often ordered to be split so that both parents have skin in the game for resolution.
I think your best route is family therapy. Getting the court order and aligning with an available reconciliation therapy centre will take a long time.

[Hide on Bush]

Reunification Therapy will cost upwards of $12-15k. It is required to be court ordered so that neither party can quit halfway through. It's a long program.

Shop around for family therapists ... I wouldn't wait 8 months to get your child to speak with someone.

Does this generally require both parents and the child to attend or just the parent and child having the problems?