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Can Non-Residential Parent decide whether to send kid to school?

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  • #16
    I'm taking the other side with this one. The problem seems to be with words like custody, primary residence, final say... which has nothing to do with the situation but gives one side a sense of power and control. What school they do to - custody issue. Day to day issues stay with the parent in charge.

    Kid's about to graduate sk. They've missed 2 days! (Since jk or within sk, although would make no difference) The other parent has limited access. Taking a few extra hours is nothing. Their agreement clearly says he gets Easter Friday - but sk with the risk of missing a 3rd day is more important?! The power struggle seems to be the other way. I really think you're communicating too much.

    What does your agreement say about sick days?

    Skin care seems more of a 2nd thought vent then a serious issue which needs addressed. Kid is old enough, and getting older. Something that is fixed by washing their face (at school) or taking meds is easy enough to teach kid to do.

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    • #17
      on the staying home easter Monday.
      i think there will be other parents that keep there kids home as well. if so it would be like forcing them to school on a snow day where only a couple of kids show up. Not a hill to die on or even bring up.

      the skin care thing i am interested in because my ex does the same type of crap. i can follow all the medical advice given but it becomes ineffective when they dont do it and the kid does not like following advice either. they admitted they dont follow the doctor orders and now they learned to lie that they do. it is infuriating but a seemingly hopeless situation.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
        on the staying home easter Monday.
        i think there will be other parents that keep there kids home as well. if so it would be like forcing them to school on a snow day where only a couple of kids show up. Not a hill to die on or even bring up.
        eh. Disagree. one thing our PC said to us early in the process- "most parents can have flexibility in the process- how you apply the parenting agreement. Timing, etc....you guys cannot". So no- he does not get to push the boundaries of the separation agreement. His parenting time ends Monday at school drop off. Am I going to drag him back to court over this? No. But am I going to let it pass without making note and providing my objections? Also no.

        the skin care thing i am interested in because my ex does the same type of crap. i can follow all the medical advice given but it becomes ineffective when they dont do it and the kid does not like following advice either. they admitted they dont follow the doctor orders and now they learned to lie that they do. it is infuriating but a seemingly hopeless situation.
        With something like atopic dermatitis- extreme eczema- prevention is key. I'm sure you probably already know this- but routine is paramount and according to our daughter's dermatologist- "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure". A couple days without following her routine shows on her skin- at best it's itchy, dry, scabbing and requires a prescription strength cortisone cream to treat it. At worst- it causes an infection on her skin- weeping eczema...and that shit can go sideways really quick if not treated.

        Her other parent has a history with it- and has many many scars as a result of non-treatment of his skin issues. Which would make you think he could handle it...but nope. He thinks he "knows" more about it than the dermatologists do. But until he gets his medical degree- we follow what is recommended. The routine *IS* onerous. She has to shower or soak in a tub 2x a day. Apply heavy creams 3x a day. When she was a baby- she had to take diluted bleach baths, etc etc....All this to say- you don't get to pick and choose what to do. Part of the reason why I fought pretty damn hard for sole custody- I wasn't going to get into a pissing match every time there needed to be medical decisions made about her skincare.

        Boundaries are fun.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
          His parenting time ends Monday at school drop off.
          What happens if the child's sick?

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          • #20
            That's up to the parent whose time it is. If the parent wants to stay home with the child or make arrangements for the child, or if the parents whose time is ending can take the day and wants to, they can make an arrangement with them to change the pickup/drop-off time to later in the day.

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            • #21
              The way op manages everything, surely it's in their agreement.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
                The way op manages everything, surely it's in their agreement.

                It is in her agreement. Dadís time ends when school starts. If kid is sick, she is returned to mom unless they work something out.

                If they wrote out every single minute detail the agreement would rival the longest book in print.

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                • #23
                  P.A. days, holidays, sick days. For sure it's addressed.

                  Kid's too sick for school, for must still get up and be there so other parent can decide what to do... court wouldn't enforce that.

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                  • #24
                    Kids being sick is regular day to day care of the kids, it's up to the parent whose time it is to make the decision for their own time.

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                    • #25
                      In this case, dad would have the sick kid and would make the call whether kid should stay home or go to school. He would have that authority rather than being forced at school 9am regardless. Most often parents would arrange a different pick up time to accommodate kid. This is most likely in their agreement.

                      I'm assuming the issue is that ex can claim sick day while having a fun day instead - like we all do. 3 times is nothing. Unfortunately school won't care until it's 40+.

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