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Kids are being withheld again

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  • Kids are being withheld again

    Ex withheld our kids at the beginning of covid. That was the beginning of a very long year between the kids and me. Through a lot of hard work with my counselor and theirs, we are just starting to become a family unit again.

    I just received a text message from the boys that they do not want to come home today and for the next few weeks. I asked them what they meant and also sent their dad a message on OFW. They responded they just want to stay. All I said was that this discussion would be between their dad and me. He responded with the usual how terrible I am and that I should talk with the boys about it, this is nothing to be discussed between him and me. Our boys are 12 and he's been filling their heads with misinformation that they can choose where to live. They know what's in our MOS and quote various clauses to me.

    Question -- he does the driving. Should I show up at his place at 6 this evening? It will be futile but will show I am not taking this lying down.

    There's not much else I can do today. Will e contacting my lawyer tomorrow to start an emergency motion, but I think she's out of the country for a family emergency. Ugh! Any other suggestions would be welcome.

  • #2
    jeez. your story sounds harrowing. I'm so sorry for that.

    Did you show up to get the kids?

    And another lawyer should be filling in for your lawyer, no? or is she a sole practitioner?

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    • #3
      My lawyer is thankfully back at work. She responded to my email and is working on it. I decided not to show up because it would have been futile. I did get a message from him that the boys will be back for their next scheduled time with me. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

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      • #4
        There is no magic age where a kids gets to decide where to live but you have an uphill battle. You can ask for police enforcement but what are they going to do if the kids simply tell the cops "no"? put them in handcuffs?

        I would have shown up and asked that the kids come out and talk to you.

        I don't know what type of parent or person you are, that may have something to do with it. You can't be the one to judge yourself, someone else has to help you with that and if it is a counsellor you can't hide stuff.

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        • #5
          Never involve the police. Ever.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
            Never involve the police. Ever.
            Nope, would never do that, its futile and does no good for the children involved.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              Never involve the police. Ever.
              In Family Law and Family Court, you want to present yourself as a respectable, level-headed, reasonable and rational person. Calling the police shows you are the opposite of all of that and raises the judge's eyebrows that you do not exercise good judgement when it comes to parenting.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
                There is no magic age where a kids gets to decide where to live but you have an uphill battle. You can ask for police enforcement but what are they going to do if the kids simply tell the cops "no"? put them in handcuffs?

                I would have shown up and asked that the kids come out and talk to you.

                I don't know what type of parent or person you are, that may have something to do with it. You can't be the one to judge yourself, someone else has to help you with that and if it is a counsellor you can't hide stuff.
                I am a parent attempting to deal with a co-parent who has been trying to remove the boys from my care since the day they were born. My children have been turned against me, to the point I have had to lock myself in my bedroom to avoid being hurt by 12 yr old twins who had essentially been given permission to run rampant and not listen to a word I say.

                I/we have been to hell and back in the past 18 months. The three of us have worked very hard to come together again. The past few months have been wonderful. Then bam! this happens.

                I am attempting to deal with a co-parent who, among other things, offered me 10k at the beginning of July to essentially buy our children from me and to disappear forever.

                I have been completely honest with my counselor, thank you very much. I have my issues, as does he. The difference is, I have insight, he does not. No matter the issue, I am the bad guy, his shit never stinks.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by cranberry View Post
                  I am a parent attempting to deal with a co-parent who has been trying to remove the boys from my care since the day they were born. My children have been turned against me, to the point I have had to lock myself in my bedroom to avoid being hurt by 12 yr old twins who had essentially been given permission to run rampant and not listen to a word I say.

                  I/we have been to hell and back in the past 18 months. The three of us have worked very hard to come together again. The past few months have been wonderful. Then bam! this happens.

                  I am attempting to deal with a co-parent who, among other things, offered me 10k at the beginning of July to essentially buy our children from me and to disappear forever.

                  I have been completely honest with my counselor, thank you very much. I have my issues, as does he. The difference is, I have insight, he does not. No matter the issue, I am the bad guy, his shit never stinks.
                  You want this to end. Make an agreement with the other parent to accept no child support. It all comes down to money. Once there is nothing to fight over (money) then often this stuff goes away.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                    You want this to end. Make an agreement with the other parent to accept no child support. It all comes down to money. Once there is nothing to fight over (money) then often this stuff goes away.
                    Coincidentally, I just posted on the same topic:
                    https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...050#post248050

                    True that money is a primary root of Family Court evil. I am going to avoid the 10 minute rant that just came into my head.

                    Everything lawyers told me and from reading posts here said Child Support cannot be waived.
                    Exceptions were given like lump sum child support by signing over house and in cases where the child moves so far it costs a lot to see them.

                    How does one go about getting rid of child support and having it stick?

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