Separation but continuing in same house

[Jackdivorce]

Both of us dearly love kids and dont want our differences impact them. Somehow we are not able to overcome these differences and would like to have financial independence
Our house has 3 levels with 2 kitchens.. that gives me a plan of having separation but continue to live until we arent able to work it further

Does that work or make sense?
DO we need an attorney or would some mediators be good enough? We do have property in outside and inside Canada

[Lolita123]

I would not wait to settle and put together an agreement.. especially if you guys are still able to be civil.. cause trust me... when things are left tangled and other issues arise over time, then it becomes a HUGE mess... I would seek mediation and if you guys come to an agreement you can have the court ratify it.. if you cannot agree that is when you may need a lawyer...

[pinkHouses]

Agree. Don't wait to settle.

Do research then mediation.
If you each get lawyers that is fine but remember the lawyers will tell you that you are entitled to more or should fight for this or that.
Get down as much details as possible so there is nothing to fight over later.

[Jackdivorce]

Thank you.. and where would these mediation services be? Is it family councelling or something else?

[rockscan]

If you google family mediation you will find it or in your yellow pages.


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[Janus]

Our house has 3 levels with 2 kitchens.. that gives me a plan of having separation but continue to live until we arent able to work it further

Oh no, absolutely not.

"We are getting along now. Let us wait until we hate each other and then try to separate things amicably".

The AC doesn't work well. Dad wants a new one, mom doesn't see why dad cannot just use a fan.

Front window has a crack. Mom wants it fixed, Dad thinks it looks fine.

Mom takes really really really long showers, Dad starts timing her so that they can split the bill "fairly".

Dad brings home a girlfriend, loud sex noises at night wake up the kid.

etc.

Living together post-divorce is asking for trouble. Sell the house, and restart your life.

[Jackdivorce]

Separation is the 1st step to divorce. My thinking is that if this doesnt work, then I go for divorce filing esp since we have already separated. Atleast that will give us a chance to get our young kids get nearer to being teenaged

[rockscan]

Yes but do you think you can be separated in the same house for several years? Won’t happen. Animosity is a given in the breakdown of a relationship and the inability to move on will make it worse.

Start working on an agreement and include selling the house. You both can save legal fees and walk away with money to buy something else. Your kids will survive, you (and your ex) will not come out of this intact when it gets ugly.


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[Janus]

Separation is the 1st step to divorce. My thinking is that if this doesnt work, then I go for divorce filing esp since we have already separated. Atleast that will give us a chance to get our young kids get nearer to being teenaged

You think your young kids are going to like living in some psychotic limbo where mommy and daddy are sorta together and sorta not?

Maybe I have been on this forum too long. Why do so many people have this idiotic belief?

Jack, you obviously hate your kids to want to put them through that kind of hell.

[rockscan]

Maybe I have been on this forum too long. Why do so many people have this idiotic belief?

I liken it to the eye of a hurricane...you hate each other and do nothing but fight and be miserable. Then when you agree to end the marriage it’s calm for a period. After that the brunt of the storm rages in and causes catastrophic damage.

As a child of divorce and a wife of a divorced man, there is no nice or amicable. It’s a front. Don’t believe the lie.


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[pinkHouses]

I still agree that you must do your separation agreement.

No one on the forum here knows you and her but it would be rare if you could live under the same roof unless you are living in a legal duplex or triplex and even then you would have to be special people.