Best Separation Agreement Clauses for High Conflict

[enchantedowl]

When dealing with a high conflict co-parent (equal parenting time and shared custody), what are the clauses in your separation agreements:


1 - You wish you did not have
2 - You wish you had
3 - You're happy you have

[Kinso]

The best clauses are one ls that work for your unique situation, and address the conflict you and your spouse have.

The worst ones are pulled from the internet as if they have magical powers.

[Janus]

1 - You wish you did not have

Anything that needs to be negotiated or is ambiguous.

Bad: "each parent will have half the summer"
Good: "In the odd years, mother will have the first two weeks of summer, starting on the Sunday after the last day of school at 11:30am"

Bad: "christmas will be shared"
Good: Almost anything else

Bad: "daycare will be mutually agreed upon"

Bad: anything that uses that word "mutual agreement". Remember that you will be using your separation agreement in the future when you are not happy with each other. Expect a complete lack of cooperation once you are using your agreement as a hammer.

2 - You wish you had

My agreement is super specific, and roughly 100% of our problems have been situations where we could have been specific but we were not.

3 - You're happy you have

2255 custody schedule

[pinkHouses]

The age of your kids is important.

Agree with Janus but also agree about it depending on the parents, high conflict as in alcoholic and drugs or because one or both are just total a holes?

Set pick up time, method and place for kids when at school and when school is out; when not in school; when they are sick/anything else.

Activities are only on the other parents time if they agree.
So if you want your child in weekly soccer every year you better put it in.
If you want them to spend fathers/mothers day with you put it in.

Set the year of a first holiday and alternate that holidays schedule. Easter etc.

If someone gives your child $5, 000 who controls that money?

When there is a school meeting do you both show up. What do you do with doctors, parties etc.

With COVID clauses for that type of thing are good, it was a mess for some because the other parent was an a hole or overly excited about it. Spend an hour writing your own and save yourself court in 8 years.