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am i obligated to tell her were i go with my children

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  • am i obligated to tell her were i go with my children

    Hi you all, I'm having visitation issues with my soon to be ex when it come to my children, I was staying at my sisters place until the first of November when I officially move into my own place which I got the key to mid October so the kids stayed there with me there on their last visit of October 28 weekend, back in July I took my kids for the weekend to wonderland, these have become a point of contention for her, after asking her to let me know when the kids return from school so I can pick them up for the weekend she said to me yesterday that since I did not disclose to her where I would be with my kids so I can't have them and that they have things to do this weekend.

    I have since sent her a message noting her refusal for me to have my children for the weekend, and also to let her know that I would end negotiating and have the court decide if this continues since we don't have an agreement in place yet as her lawyer, my lawyer and the mediator are all in bed together, working for her.

    In short do I have to tell her where I go or stay with my kids when they are with me, so long as I'm not leaving the country or province?

  • #2
    I cant see it being the trip to wonderland in the summer that is the issue or she would of tried this then not now when its 4 months later or so.

    I think the real issue is that you moved into your own place and are probably not giving her the address?

    If you feel your lawyer is working for her then I take it you fired him?

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    • #3
      Thanks for your reply, I gave her the address on the 3rd of November after I officially moved

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Sausy41 View Post
        Thanks for your reply, I gave her the address on the 3rd of November after I officially moved
        hmm that is strange why she would act this way. Did you move in with a new gf or something? Has to be more to it.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
          hmm that is strange why she would act this way. Did you move in with a new gf or something? Has to be more to it.
          She has been finding all reasons in the book since I decided I did not want anything to do with her, to make it difficult for me to see my kids, but as I have been told by my lawyer she has no reason to behave well, and no new girl no need for the stress of that in my life.

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          • #6
            You are obligated to inform her of the children's new address and any travel outside of the country. It is a courtesy to inform her if you travel outside of the province.

            Aside from that, you are not obligated to inform her where you go and what you do. Period.

            Sounds like you should be picking the kids up from school for their time with you. Given her propensity for denying access, at the next scheduled pickup you could pick them up from the school and inform her via email that you have picked them up at school and will be doing so from now on as she is unreasonably denying you access.

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            • #7
              Classic gatekeeper. My partners ex pulled the same stunt when he moved into his house because she was pissed he was making a bedroom for them that the kids couldnt stop talking about.

              Tell her this is denial of access and you will be picking up the children for your PARENTING time (do not say access or visiting) and will be logged.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                Classic gatekeeper. My partners ex pulled the same stunt when he moved into his house because she was pissed he was making a bedroom for them that the kids couldnt stop talking about.

                Tell her this is denial of access and you will be picking up the children for your PARENTING time (do not say access or visiting) and will be logged.
                You may be right since she is in a 2 bedroom place and I have a bedroom for each of them which I struggled to setup for them so they will feel at home when they are with me

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                  You are obligated to inform her of the children's new address and any travel outside of the country. It is a courtesy to inform her if you travel outside of the province.

                  Aside from that, you are not obligated to inform her where you go and what you do. Period.

                  Sounds like you should be picking the kids up from school for their time with you. Given her propensity for denying access, at the next scheduled pickup you could pick them up from the school and inform her via email that you have picked them up at school and will be doing so from now on as she is unreasonably denying you access.
                  As for the pick up at school and inform her by email after I did that a year ago which worked out for the first time but the second time she met me at their school and cause a seen that Iím taking the kids away from her which got the police and other parents at the school involved I must say Iím disturbed by that seen up till today.

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                  • #10
                    You are not obliged to let her know of your address as access non custodial parent. Only she is if she has custody and she has to inform you if she moves. but since there is no custody then you both have joint custody. so you should advise each other of address.

                    she sounds like my ex and creating laws out of her arm pits to deny you access.

                    hire a new lawyer and motion your access. if you don't trust your lawyer then fire . don t make the mistake I did and keep them retained why they work for your ex. hire one that works for you and you will be so happy.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by trinton View Post
                      You are not obliged to let her know of your address as access non custodial parent.
                      Non-custodial parents should always provide their residential address. There are many reasons why, but the biggest being that refusing to give something so trivial makes one look uncooperative, unreasonable and almost certainly puts them in a bad light should it arrive in court.

                      Each parent has the right to know where the other parent resides unless there is a restraining order preventing one from having such info.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
                        Non-custodial parents should always provide their residential address. There are many reasons why, but the biggest being that refusing to give something so trivial makes one look uncooperative, unreasonable and almost certainly puts them in a bad light should it arrive in court.

                        Each parent has the right to know where the other parent resides unless there is a restraining order preventing one from having such info.
                        If they have sole custody, then chances are the court has found them to be uncooperative anyways. giving their address isn't going to give the non custodial parent joint custody all of a sudden.

                        Unless their order specifically states they must share address, then they can't be found in contempt.

                        I agree with T however, if they are just going to court, then they should both be sharing information to avoid giving the other parent any ammunition .

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                        • #13
                          Not giving your residential address can lead to multiple complications, the worst being the ex denying parenting time on the basis that they do not have sufficient knowledge of the child's location or proper contact details in case of emergency. Should the ex do that the judge would likely come down on both parents for being morons and fostering this gong show that is now in court.

                          Simply provide the address. It is simple and there are absolutely ZERO reasons why it shouldn't be provided. And unless the non-custodial parent wants to do all of the driving to exercise their access, then the ex should have their address so they can either drop off or pick up the kid.

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                          • #14
                            Actually, you are not obligated to tell her where your new address is. I went into hiding and didnít even tell my lawyer. The judges didnít care. As long as I had a cell phone number he could call to talk to the kids, that was fine ( he didnít call).

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
                              Each parent has the right to know where the other parent resides unless there is a restraining order preventing one from having such info.
                              That's strong language. I don't think parents have a right to the address of the ex. They have the right to contact information, and as SB said, a cellphone more than suffices.

                              I do agree, however, that not providing an address makes you look unreasonable.

                              Comment

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