My ex and I are finally hashing out our parenting agreement for our now 3 year old daughter. She has just had her first two overnights with me, and has always nursed to sleep with her mom (still nursing). One issue she has brought up is that she doesn't want me co-sleeping with our daughter.
I used to sleep grope my partner occasionally, that is aggressively fondle her while I slept, and she is afraid I would do that to our daughter. It is a horrifying thought, and there is nothing in my soul that would consider doing that, nor do I feel my unconscious body would do that. I feel like my hands would recognize that it's not my lover lying there, not a woman's body, and the anatomy wouldn't fit, so it seems impossible to me. I've slept beside my 10 year old son many times without groping him, so I think there is some unconscious awareness there.
Regardless, it would be devastating and I can't convince my ex that it would never happen. The problem is, my daughter is quite sensitive and needs a lot of cuddles to sleep. She gets restless, and cuddles tightly up to me to sleep, grabs my arms and hugs it tightly. I want to take of her need for comfort, as well as help my ex feel that our daughter is in a safe situation.
Anybody have any experience or advice here? Has sleep groping (sexsomnia) ever transferred to sleep child molestation? I feel like it would be extremely rare.
Anyways, I've agreed not to sleep with her, but I don't want it to come across as a breach of agreement if my daughter needs or wants to crawl into bed with me to fall asleep, or that her relationship with me would be compromised by not allowing co-sleeping (i.e. that I am a "dangerous" parent, or that she has to report where she slept and feel badly if she crawls in with me, or worse that she wouldn't be allowed to sleep over if she couldn't sleep by herself).
Thanks for any input.
I used to sleep grope my partner occasionally, that is aggressively fondle her while I slept, and she is afraid I would do that to our daughter. It is a horrifying thought, and there is nothing in my soul that would consider doing that, nor do I feel my unconscious body would do that. I feel like my hands would recognize that it's not my lover lying there, not a woman's body, and the anatomy wouldn't fit, so it seems impossible to me. I've slept beside my 10 year old son many times without groping him, so I think there is some unconscious awareness there.
Regardless, it would be devastating and I can't convince my ex that it would never happen. The problem is, my daughter is quite sensitive and needs a lot of cuddles to sleep. She gets restless, and cuddles tightly up to me to sleep, grabs my arms and hugs it tightly. I want to take of her need for comfort, as well as help my ex feel that our daughter is in a safe situation.
Anybody have any experience or advice here? Has sleep groping (sexsomnia) ever transferred to sleep child molestation? I feel like it would be extremely rare.
Anyways, I've agreed not to sleep with her, but I don't want it to come across as a breach of agreement if my daughter needs or wants to crawl into bed with me to fall asleep, or that her relationship with me would be compromised by not allowing co-sleeping (i.e. that I am a "dangerous" parent, or that she has to report where she slept and feel badly if she crawls in with me, or worse that she wouldn't be allowed to sleep over if she couldn't sleep by herself).
Thanks for any input.
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