Continuous problems after trial - Court action?

[dad1414]

I was recently overall successful at my 5 day trial self-representing. The Judge saw right through the Ex and her lawyers ‘making their own rules BS”.

I fought and:

- had SS terminated
- CS payments adjusted
- equal decisions making for our children
- was partially compensated for the almost $50,000.00 I overpaid in support
- all holiday time be divided equally with both parents.
- assets divided equally
- compensated for all hidden accounts and stocks there were sold
- the matrimonial was set with a date to be listed.
- matrimonial home processed divided equally
- many other good things.

With justice served to my ex I was really anticipating that this would be a new beginning towards effectively co-parenting and cooperating with simple and larger issues. I was wrong. Her methods and wiliness to work together haven’t changed and it’s still just as difficult to get modest issues resolved. I can let some of it go but its our children that are suffering.

Post-trial the ex has:

- Continued to delay or ignore anything and everything i.e. producing statements to equalize our RRSP
- delayed the date the judge ordered the matrimonial home was to be listed by 2.5 weeks.
- Ignored requests/proposals to work out the holidays in advance i.e. Spring break, summer break.
- Adding conditions that were never agreed about or even discussed to every little thing.
- Even though the ex-agreed in front of the judge and to her lawyer to return my personal items and divided the matrimonial chattels she is “now saying nope there’s nothing to give back or divide” I’m not asking for half of everything but have requested a few item, personal property and copies of our children’s important documents.
- Let’s the children decide when and if they want to come over.
- Puts our children in the middle of parent decisions and asked them before discussing things with me. I.e. activities new schools etc.
I feel helpless and saddened that the children are continually unnecessarily put in the middle.

My question is am I just SOL and have to suck it up? Or is there validity in court action to have some of these issues forced? Like having a black and white holiday schedule for the children till their 18? As well the division of the matrimonial chattels? I don’t want to waste my or the courts time but is just so frustrating.

Thank you…

[Stillbreathing]

Sorry to hear of your post trial experiences. It appears that trial does not mean the end of conflict and a new beginning. It is up to you to collect any monies owed. You can always take things back to court. There really is no actual end to litigation, even after trial.
If you do go back to court you should be well prepared with lots of evidence as to how your ex is failing to follow the court order.
If you are forced back to court don't count on getting a favourable ruling like the first time. Remember, it's a crap shoot. Depends on the judge you get . They may side with your ex and her guaranteed excuses. Maybe not.

Just don't spend your money on a lawyer. Not worth it.

[Tayken]

Post-trial the ex has:

- Continued to delay or ignore anything and everything i.e. producing statements to equalize our RRSP

This should have been dealt with at trail. The order should have been specific as to what the equalization is (amount and timing). Orders are generally specific. If it is properly written you should be able to execute on the order with little involvement from the other parent.

- delayed the date the judge ordered the matrimonial home was to be listed by 2.5 weeks.

But, it has been sold and equalized. 2.5 weeks isn't a huge issue. I would let this one go.

- Ignored requests/proposals to work out the holidays in advance i.e. Spring break, summer break.

Again, this should have been detailed out in the court order. You should have never left it up to the "parents" to determine. It should have had specific dates for which this would happen in the year. For example, you get 2 weeks in odd years in July and 2 weeks in August in even years. You have by April X to notify the other parent when that would happen. Other parent can't oppose.

- Adding conditions that were never agreed about or even discussed to every little thing.

If not ordered you can ignore the demands. You both should be following the court order that resulted from trail. Failure to do so means either of you can bring it back to have it enforced.

- Even though the ex-agreed in front of the judge and to her lawyer to return my personal items and divided the matrimonial chattels she is “now saying nope there’s nothing to give back or divide” I’m not asking for half of everything but have requested a few item, personal property and copies of our children’s

Again, used furniture is worthless. Unless you have heirloom items like 100-year-old art that was obtained through a family inheritance just get new stuff on Kijiji. Most judges won't deal with chattels in matrimonial situations unless the items are of SIGNIFICANT value.

- Let’s the children decide when and if they want to come over.

What does the court order state for access? If they are not attending per the court order you need to bring the matter back to have the order ENFORCED.

Kids don't get to decide.

- Puts our children in the middle of parent decisions and asked them before discussing things with me. I.e. activities new schools etc.

Again, how old are the kids? If they are 0-12 then, the other parent shouldn't do this. But, it is more "bad parenting" than anything a court can deal with.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Tayken]

Just don't spend your money on a lawyer. Not worth it.

Don't agree at all. Most of what the OP listed as issues would have been caught by a lawyer representing the OP. All the lose ends would have been tied up because a lawyer would have known how to represent their client's interests.

Now the OP has a vague order that appears (from their writing) to benefit the other parent allow them wiggle room and to create nonsense. The other parent in the situation had legal counsel and they probably let the loopholes slide and instructed the other parent how to leverage them like this.

Lawyers are VERY IMPORTANT in high conflict litigations like this. They dot the "i's" and cross the "t's" that come back to haunt their clients like this.

[trinton]

your final order sounds a lot like mine. it looks a little something like this:



You got to go back to court and fix it. Be prepared to kiss 2+ years of your life goodbye, as well as all of your money, and 90% of your health.

[dad1414]

I originally had "highly recommended" lawyers and for some reason they couldn't dot the "i's" and cross the "t's"...ended up costing me 100gs in legal fees for zero resolved and forced me to represent myself at trial.

[Tayken]

I originally had "highly recommended" lawyers and for some reason they couldn't dot the "i's" and cross the "t's"...ended up costing me 100gs in legal fees for zero resolved and forced me to represent myself at trial.

Well, they didn't get to trial so hard to say if the issues you are experiencing would have been resolved or not. But, I guess you have all the answers.

[dad1414]

Well, they didn't get to trial so hard to say if the issues you are experiencing would have been resolved or not. But, I guess you have all the answers.

Well, if they were a good lawyer they would have resolved the issues before trial was even needed. No I don't have all the answers that's why I ask the questions but it appears you have all the answers...

[trinton]

Well, if they were a good lawyer they would have resolved the issues before trial was even needed. No I don't have all the answers that's why I ask the questions but it appears you have all the answers...

lawyers can only be as good as their clients. if you have a jack ass lawyer representing a jack ass client, then nothing gets settled before a trial.