I have been raising my kids for 13 and 16 years alone. I know you don't know me, but I have been an amazing mom; an involved mom. The kids and I moved out from with their dad 5.5 years ago. He lives two minutes away and said he didn't want them more than 4 days a month (everyother weekend) in court (although I offered him more time with kids kids). His wife is not working now and 13 and 16 years later he filed for custody. He is using the crutch they boys don't want to be with me (which they don't) after a night after their being so rude, ignorant and disrespectuful to me). There teenage years have been tryng and this last evening of rudeness took it's toll. I drove them over to their dads (he was told they were coming), with clothes and I told the children to spend some time away from me thinking about how they treat me. I think they were both in shock. Well, one day passes and dad is freaking out and me ordering to return the boys. He advised he has plans and that it is not his weekend. I stand firm and say no. These kids need to think about how horribly they treat me. He is livid. Sunday comes, he sends me text messages. Look, I gave up my Friday plans, I am returning them to you today, I have plans and I am not breaking these plans. I am standing firm and now he is pissing me off. He asks me who the hell do I think I am. I said, one more night might do it; perhaps they will decide they don't even want to live with me because of my rules. They need counselling I state. Well, Monday comes and I manage to reach one of my kids on their way home from school and ask they come by for a talk. Child gets here and says dad will be mad they came by. Said dad said not to be lured in by me. We share thoughts about anger and sadness (feelings felt over the weekend). He leaves. Later that night, both my teens arrive at my door and advise they have 15 minutes to listen to me and get out with their belongings). I am in shock and I actually help them pack. My oldest one saying, dad said we have to bring everything, all boots, coats, everything. I try all week to reach them, no one is responding to me. Friday I get an email from ex's lawyer. It says we have a poor relationship (kids and I) and they have chosen to live with him. He is giving me til Tuesday to agree to his requests, (kids and now he wants child support). He said if I don't agree by Tuesday he is taking this to court and asking for all his lawyers cost/court costs. My kids were challenging (mouthy, disrespectful, rude) and totally spoiled and loved by their mother. But, I instill conseqeunces for treating me horribly and my ex doesn't. He just yells at them and it is over with. So, apparently I am the worse parent ever. I am dying it feels like. Please just believe me when I tell you what an amazing mother I am (apart from instilling consequences i.e. cell phones off at 10"30, have to share emptying the dishwasher, share washing pots/pans, can't just sleep out at friends casue you want to; sometimes other things take prescedence i.e studying, assignments), saying hello when you come thru the door. My expectations are too much and now they want to live with dad who did not want them up until I made him angry by not picking the boys up when he insisted.
So, after getting a hold of my son at one of the boys friends he slept at on Sat. night, he informed me "you sent us off and it backfired on you, now we are going to live with our dad." Mean!! My heart is breaking. Two teens turned horrible (I know that doesn't sound right coming from a mom who worships her kids).
What do I do? I have no money for lawyers. Ex wants an answer for Tuesday or filing for court. Do I even fight for my kids when claim they don't even want to be with me now. Will a judge just honour their wishes because they are 13 and 16? is it that simple? Might a judge say you are being disrespectful rude teens, playing one parent against another and send them back? I am prepared to collect parents, and teachers letters to show how involved in their lives. ps Even parents most recently have said to my son over hearing him, "don't be so rude to your mother".
I love my children. I am nothing more than a parent and yet, it feels I am losing that privlidge.
Signed broken hearted and needing much advise in Ontario Canada
So, after getting a hold of my son at one of the boys friends he slept at on Sat. night, he informed me "you sent us off and it backfired on you, now we are going to live with our dad." Mean!! My heart is breaking. Two teens turned horrible (I know that doesn't sound right coming from a mom who worships her kids).
What do I do? I have no money for lawyers. Ex wants an answer for Tuesday or filing for court. Do I even fight for my kids when claim they don't even want to be with me now. Will a judge just honour their wishes because they are 13 and 16? is it that simple? Might a judge say you are being disrespectful rude teens, playing one parent against another and send them back? I am prepared to collect parents, and teachers letters to show how involved in their lives. ps Even parents most recently have said to my son over hearing him, "don't be so rude to your mother".
I love my children. I am nothing more than a parent and yet, it feels I am losing that privlidge.
Signed broken hearted and needing much advise in Ontario Canada
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