Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Refusing to co-parent

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Refusing to co-parent

    My ex is outright refusing to attend co-parenting classes.

    She has also revoked her consent to theraphy that she agreed to.

    That alone is contempt

    But what is the Courts position on refusal to co-parent?
    Also the therapist has confirmed Parental Alienation, the worst she has seen, and wanted weekly therapy, not just on my weeks. so she didnt respond to any calls or emails from her, but sent out 9 year old with a message.
    thanks.

  • #2
    bizarre post IMO - please clarify who sent the "9 year old with a message" and what the message contained?

    Get therapist to put "parental alienation" in writing? Can you force someone to co parent?

    Guess you weren't deported - what happened with that anyhow?

    Comment


    • #3
      Went as far as Federal Court where judge stated that Immigration/CBSA must prove the children will NOT be affected by my deportation. - that changed the situation dramatically.

      the mother sent her our 9 year old as the messenger. Hopefully the therapist will. the fact that my ex sent therapist a nasty email stating that she ws using the situation as a cash cow in the email revoking consent hopefully will not make the therapist look biased!
      the message stated that she ws sending the children to alternative theraphy that will counter-act her progress. that the tactics were too hard on the children!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by notaclue View Post
        ... sending the children to alternative theraphy that will counter-act her progress. that the tactics were too hard on the children!
        Well that's not going to bode well for co-parenting. You have this in writing?

        Comment


        • #5
          No she has told the therapist that she will refuse and she ignored emails I sent to her about it.
          Will it have any bearing on a judges opinion on reversing custody? She has sole custody but seems to think that it means ownership - she even calls them her children in mails and calls my weekend access me "babysitting

          Comment


          • #6
            I've learned that in things legal, unless you have things in writing then it is a 'he said-she said' sort of thing. I have no personal experience in child custody matters. I am sure that others with relevant experience will chime in.

            Make the best of your 'babysitting' time. (how awful to have it phrased that way)

            What is your babysitting/access schedule? I know there is a notable difference in terminology over custody, parenting, access etc. and I can't for the life of me keep it all straight. You say your ex has sole custody? What is the exact terminology in your court Order? (might be helpful for others to comment).

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by notaclue View Post
              My ex is outright refusing to attend co-parenting classes.
              Hate to break it to you but the mythica "co-parent" doesn't exist generally and if either parent has to attend a class to learn how to co-parent you will more than likely never achieve the hipster vision of "co-parenting".

              You are joint custodial parents at best. You also need to research and understand the core concept of "parental autonomy" which is more relevant in joint custody disputes than "co-parenting".

              (It is the simple concept of what happens at your house is your business and not the other parent's business. Co-parenting doesn't often understand this basic concept or address it.)

              So I wouldn't fight trying to co-parent and I would recommend you seek out and understand the concept of "parallel parenting". The only time you will have to make joint custodial decisions is for major things... Like medical procedures, long term medications, school location etc... Everything outside of this (hair cuts, bed times, diet, blah blah blah...) are NOT relevant and not necessary.

              Originally posted by notaclue View Post
              She has also revoked her consent to theraphy that she agreed to.
              Parallel parent then. Do as much as you can without have to obtain her consent to do it. If your children are healthy and have no longer term medical needs then you really don't have to communicate all that much with the other parent.

              Originally posted by notaclue View Post
              That alone is contempt
              What would you like the court to do to the other parent for this "contempt". I wouldn't recommend you ever bring a contempt motion for something like this. The fact the mother didn't attend works better as pure evidence in the custody and access dispute. Contempt motions are not generally recommended as they create a lot of conflict and have to go to trial.

              Originally posted by notaclue View Post
              But what is the Courts position on refusal to co-parent?
              The court generally doesn't use "co-parenting" as a measure. They look at "joint custody" or in the alternative "joint custody in the model of parallel parenting". I recommend you search this forum for information on parallel parenting.

              The court will setup a detailed order and determine who is the medical decision maker, decision maker for school and setup strict guidelines on how these decisions are to be made.

              For the best perspective of the court's view of "co-parenting", "shared custody", "joint custody" and "parallel parenting" see:

              CanLII - 2011 ONSC 4305 (CanLII)

              Paragraph 63 through 96 of that case law.

              Originally posted by notaclue View Post
              Also the therapist has confirmed Parental Alienation, the worst she has seen, and wanted weekly therapy, not just on my weeks. so she didnt respond to any calls or emails from her, but sent out 9 year old with a message.
              Really? I call BS here. The therapist making a finding of this kind is obligated under law to report the matter to the CAS as it is "child abuse". So, I would question why the therapist who has a regulatory and clinical requirement to report abuse has not reported the abuse. CAS should be involved and making a motion under the Family Services Act to take care and control of the child away from the other parent if what you are stating is truthful.

              I would recommend you challenge the therapist to either (a) call the CAS or (b) provide you an affidavit sworn to the truth to the facts they are stating to you. Otherwise it is hot air and not admissible and known as "hearsay evidence".

              9 times out of 10 these people will not backup their statements about PAS either to the CAS as a complaint or in an affidavit.

              Good Luck!
              Tayken

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by arabian View Post
                I've learned that in things legal, unless you have things in writing then it is a 'he said-she said' sort of thing.
                Arabian is 100% correct.

                Comment

                Our Divorce Forums
                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                Working...
                X