childcare question

[init'sowntime]

I have a friend visiting who has a question about childcare expenses.

She has sole custody of d9. She has asked for an increase in the amount of child support she gets from her ex. This was a risky move, because three yrs ago when she asked to have it increased he stopped paying child support for a year. She eventually got the support owed because the fmep was involved (family maintanence enforcement program in bc).

She asked him to amend the agreement and that she would be willing to write up a consent order to keep it out of court. He agreed. He ignored three letters she wrote, but then responded to her request for financial info. she asked for his last three yrs tax returns. He only provided his t4 from this year, but based on that the amount of child support will double and a half! she was floored! She realized that his income had been going up the last few yrs and he never said a thing about it, but there is nothing in their agreement saying he has to disclose it once a year.

Now, he won't give her any other tax returns because he doesn't want to pay retro.

As you may or may not know, the schools here are going on strike next week. She can't afford the amount of childcare she's going to need. she only has her in care two days a week (afterschool care) because thats all she can afford, but now it will be five days a week. She has asked him for help to pay childcare and he has refused. Up until now she has paid all the childcare because he told her that because she has sole custody she is responsible for all childcare costs. I'm not sure thats true.

Her two questions are this: should she pursue retro childsupport? and Is he still responsible for helping with childcare costs even though she has sole custody?

[Rioe]

Yes, she should pursue retro child support.

Yes, child care costs are paid in addition to child support, if the child care is so the parent can work or attend school. It is a section 7 extraordinary expense, shared proportionally to incomes, no matter what the access or custody arrangements are.

Child support should be adjusted annually to keep pace with income. The s7 proportion should be as well. They should each disclose their incomes to one another after tax time to keep up to date.

It sounds like he is successfully avoiding his financial responsibilities to his child because the mother is acting like a doormat and not pursuing it. The child deserves better.

[init'sowntime]

Yes, she should pursue retro child support.

It sounds like he is successfully avoiding his financial responsibilities to his child because the mother is acting like a doormat and not pursuing it. The child deserves better.

If you knew her, you would never say that. There is alot more to the story, such as the reason she got sole custody in the first place, and the fact that she self repped and went to trial and won everything she asked for.

*ex was court ordered to take a hair drug test to show he had maintained sobriety for six months. He turned around and said if I have to take one so does she. So she did the day she left court. it cost 100 dollars shy of her monthly rent, putting her at great hardship to comply. It came back completely clean, just like she knew it would. at trial, she asked him on the stand "mr.x you have had six months to comply with the court ordered drug test, why have you not complied?" to which he replied (my friend is showing me notes from the trial) " I don't feel I should have to take a hair drug test because I would just test dirty" the judge then asked him if he felt he was above the court and he answered no. that was three yrs ago and he still hasn't taken it.

She is barely scrapping by to make a living, her income is roughly 8 times less than his, and its due to being only able to work during school hours and only being able to work later twice a week with the childcare she can budget for. I admire her strength for all shes had to go through, you can't judge not knowing the whole story (which ive only glossed over). She certainly can't afford the time she would have to miss from work to self repp another round with this guy, but thats what shes looking at.

[Berner_Faith]

I agree she should be going after retro but seeing as she needs the money now why doesn't she send an offer stating that she will forgive all arrears but going forward she requires full table support and his portion of S7 expenses?

Failing that head to court. CS is pretty slam dunk and she shouldn't have a hard time getting it updated.

[Rioe]

If you knew her, you would never say that. There is alot more to the story, such as the reason she got sole custody in the first place, and the fact that she self repped and went to trial and won everything she asked for.

So she worked hard and won everything, and then laid down and didn't do the remaining work to ensure she actually received what she won?

The existing agreement is registered with a FRO type place? If not, doing that would make sure that he can't just stop paying the old amount of CS when she requests that the amount be updated.

Then she sends offers to update CS to the current amount based on his disclosure of increased income. She can say that if he agrees to update, she won't pursue the arrears. If he doesn't agree, she takes him to court again. But meanwhile, FRO is making sure to collect the existing CS so he can't stop paying like happened last time. I hope she has all this history documented so she can show how unreasonable he has been to a judge.