2 questions

[blinkandimgone]

1 - if you don't care, return the clothes, avoid the battle.

2 - You can get a helmet for as low as $15 at Canadian tire. Buy one for your place, she can get one for hers and then wherever the kid is she has the necessary safety gear. This is a really really stupid thing to fight over.

Do you really send bikes, basketball nets and roller skates back and forth for every visit? Really? The roller skates I couold see, a bike on necessary occassions if the kid doesn't have one at mom's, but a basketball net? Really?

It's like you guys couldn't find anything left to fight over so are going for the dumbest things possible. Really.

[NBDad]

I prefer to return my kids home in the clothes they arrive from their mothers in. My wife and I save, cut corners for ourselves, and look at different ways of saving money so they kids can have nice things.

My ex relies on handouts. There is a VAST gap in quality and quantity.
If I send things over, they disappear, never to return. For the life of me I have no idea where they go.

It sucks, but it's easier to just make the kids change when they arrive, wash the clothes, and return them.

If you have them for several days, on the day they go back, make sure they wear what they arrived in.

Just buy a helmet for your place. If your ex wants the kid to have bikes/etc, then she can purchase her own.

[BitHunter]

"The child was pretty sad especially without bike."
So don't do it. Even if you are right it doesn't mean that you should do it.

Clothes: maybe the most civil solution is to change the clothes when the kid arrive, wash the used clothes, and send the child back on Monday in the same, but cleaned clothes.

[standing on the sidelines]

Yes really! Soccer net too, really! Trampoline!!! Why not? I got a big truck and the kids could play with those toys. But when mama refused to buy a helmet which is pretty cheap yet very important, this time I let nothing go. I bought helmet as well of course. The child was pretty sad especially without bike. But maybe mama should buy it now when kid is with her.

And in my original post it says we argued about clothing, not fighting over toys. Really.

so you were willing to take all that stuff over but not a helmet, even though you have one that the child uses??? Petty

The clothes just have some at your house and send child back in the same clothes she came in. I know of lots of people that do this even though they only have EOW and one day a week. Saves fights.

A concept you should really learn is picking your battles.

[BitHunter]

You can get a helmet for as low as $15 at KIJIJI.

Oink, happier now?

There is only one thing really worth fighting for, and that's access. Helmets, bikes, orthotics no.

[Berner_Faith]

Iceberg, if it hurt as much as you say then just let her bring them.. is your child being upset, worth it?

I understand how you feel, as we usually buy the kids new shoes/boots, they always go home with them, rarely do we see them again, they come to our house in shoes and clothes too small. We just hope while they are at home, they are actually wearing them.

This is not something worth upsetting your child over. Buy one and sent it to Mom's...pretty sure it will be worth your daughters happiness. When winter comes, are you going to let her go without boots, snowpants, hats & mitts just because her Mom is being a pain?