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extracurricular activities in joint custody

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  • #1
    Yes, you can enrol the kid, but you can't expect her to participate during her time if she hasn't agreed - so if you go ahead with it, enrol the kid in something you can do entirely on your parenting time.

    No, if you haven't gotten her consent in advance, you can't expect her to pay half the cost of sports.


    • #2
      I think that would be dishonest. You need to tell her what you want to register the kid in and what her share of the costs would be (and in writing, not in person or by phone). If she agrees, then you can expect her to pay. If she doesn't, you can still register the kid, but you can't expect her to pay or to take the kid to the activity during her parenting time.


      • #3
        Originally posted by iceberg View Post
        OK. If I approach her another way, where she gives consent but we mention no money, can I file for 50% of costs later?
        very dishonest of you to want do that.

        You cannot interfer with her parenting time.


        • #4
          What are the activities? Depending on that they may not even be extracurricular.
          We register my step kids in swimming and other camps when they are with us and even though the camps are for work purposes we don't expect payment because she would not contribute but also because they are not that expensive that we can't reasonably cover.


          • #5
            You can register the child in any activity you want during your parenting time. Whether or not the ex consents to the activity, they are still under no obligation to take the child during their parenting time.

            As for paying for it now and coming back after the money later, chances are that won't fly at all either. If you in any way infer that you will pay for the activity solely in order to get her consent to participation, you've just waived any entitlement you may have had to be reimbursed.

            A judge will see that correspondence and tell you that you agreed to pay 100% so you are responsible for 100%, and they won't let you try and get reimbursed through the backdoor. You will look bad to the judge and to your ex, who will likely never agree to any sort of thing in the future, and with good reason.


            • #6
              It sucks but there is no reasonable way to make them pay, except by (hopefully) having them spend money that they want you to help in.

              This is not a section 7 issue. Extracurricular is not necessary extraordinary. So normal house league sports etc can (and should) be covered by CS for people of reasonable income.

              Either way, my ex seems its fine that I pay for all sports, even though it should be covered by offset CS and therefore paid for equally 50/50 (I have kids half the time). Even if it was section 7, it is not reasonable to deny kids $1000/year of sports when the combined parent incomes was over 130K.

              Perhaps it is ideal that a parent can refuse to spend money. However the reality is that in most cases they only deny paying because they know that you will do it anyway. If the child truly was not going to get the extracurricular, they would probably pay.

              It all should be so entitlement and jealousy reigns supreme (at least in my case).


              • #7
                From what I understand from some digging, is that the court looks at what’s best for the children – which normally means the other parent must pay. If a parent unilaterally does something that’s very expensive – for instance, enrols your child in a $30,000 per year private school – then the other parent may not be required to pay for this, if a parent signs a child up for a season of soccer and it's only $45 dollars the parent may not need to pay because this can be considered affordable for one parent (depending on income of course), if a parent signs a child up for piano or horse back lessons and it costs $1000 dollars a year then the other parent could very well have to pay, especially if this is considered to be in the best interest of the child. If you had your child in soccer, swimming, horseback riding, piano and gymnastics, that could be considered a little over the top and not really a necessity for a child. So i guess what I am getting at here is that, if your child is not in any activity or sport and your wife is being a jerk and refusing to agree to anything just to be difficult then that is not in the best interest of the child and she could very well be forced to pay if you put your child in a reasonable number of activities that you would need assistance paying for.
                Last edited by court; 08-12-2013, 11:50 AM.


                • #8
                  Remember, every judge is different depending on how you handle yourself. I've been told by a number of people on this site that I would never get costs for my self-represented case and It just so happened that I had a great judge who did award them. If you act reasonable and in the best interest of your child a judge will recognize that.


                  • #9
                    or you could be like me and hockey covered specifically in the separation agreement in terms of money and getting the kids there, and still refuses to pay his share and I have to drive most of the time on his week. We have 50/50.


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