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  • help with parenting plan

    im trying to write a parenting plan for my 1 year old son and im getting confused

    the father and I have already decided on the facts....

    i have sole custody
    he pays no child support
    i make all decisions and considerations and will notify him of them
    he can visit him

    any help would be appreciated

  • #2
    Originally posted by secret_mum View Post
    im trying to write a parenting plan for my 1 year old son and im getting confused

    the father and I have already decided on the facts....

    i have sole custody
    he pays no child support
    i make all decisions and considerations and will notify him of them
    he can visit him

    any help would be appreciated
    That's not much for facts. Sole custody essentially means that you make the decisions for the child (medical care, schooling etc.); that is exactly the same as the third part of the facts.

    He can visit him. How nice. That is hardly a parenting plan. You need to specify details of the access that the father will have.

    You cannot agree to 'he pays no child support'. Child support is the right of the child. Child support is based on his income/amount of access and is adjusted accordingly. But you don't get to sign away the right of a child.

    I do believe there are some excellent examples of parenting plans on the boards. Do a search for 'parenting plans'.

    Comment


    • #3
      To follow up on Momofthree, it is possible to have a lump sum payment happen instead of ongoing child support, but that has to be specified.

      And as previously mentioned, you have to define access. How many days a week/month, will there be overnights, what will you do about holidays etc.

      Trust me, just because it is amicable now, doesn't mean it will stay that way, and you are better off being very specific.

      Why would you want sole custody? Is he in any way unfit to be a father? You can have joint custody, and still make day to day decisions, and consult with the father on major decisions. I would argue its better to have it that way. I know my ex appreciates the fact that I am there to help make big decisions about our kids.

      Comment


      • #4
        No parent visits their child it is access.....you may not like the fact that your ex is your sons father but you can't change your sons DNA.

        I was raised by my father and I’m a mother…children need both their parent!
        Any statement that one can do better is a crock!

        No abuse, no violence…both capable then…. NO PROBLEM BOTH MADE THE CHILD, THE CHILD IS MADE UP OF BOTH…THEN THAT CHILD HAS THE RIGHT TO BOTH CAPABILE PARENTS.

        I hope dad goes and sees a lawyer for independent legal advice!

        FYI- once the plan is drafted both should get ILA!
        !

        Comment


        • #5
          It is always in the children's best interests to have maximum time with both parents, unless there has been proven (by CAS, or in court abuse between the parent and the child) abuse between both spouses should never stop access between children and their parents.

          It is always in the children's best interest to have a schedule so that they can plan and understand when they will be see each parent.

          It is always in the children's best interest to have both parent encourage the children's relationship with the other parent.

          It is not in the children's best interest not to know when they will see the other parent again.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by secret_mum View Post

            the father and I have already decided on the facts....

            i have sole custody
            he pays no child support
            i make all decisions and considerations and will notify him of them
            he can visit him
            Poor guy.

            6 months from now, you're going to go for full child support anyway. He's going to lose his kids, and any hope of a reasonable financial future. Usually it is best to stay away from lawyers, but your ex is getting screwed so badly that he needs one to have any hope of salvaging this situation.

            "Notify of when he can visit"

            For the sake of your children, I hope he starts fighting you before you destroy the relationship between them and their father. I'm getting a little sick of these control freak types who want to dictate access, it is disgusting.

            Comment


            • #7
              Perhaps the father is incarcerated or out of the country?

              what's with the "secret_mum" name?

              Comment


              • #8
                Oh I get it - we're not supposed to use our real names? Wow who would have thought that?

                Name just struck me as odd and I read into it that she is the mom and perhaps the dad doesn't know he's a dad.... Struck me as an odd post is all.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by secret_mum View Post
                  i have sole custody. i make all decisions and considerations and will notify him of them.
                  - That is clear enough.
                  - Perhaps also indicate that you are free to relocate with the child wherever you like within the province (or within Canada?).
                  - Perhaps also add a clause indicating his blanket consent for all travel and passport applications?
                  - Perhaps add a clause indicating your blanket consent for schools, hospitals, dr's etc. to release all information about the child to the father on request.

                  Originally posted by secret_mum View Post
                  he pays no child support.
                  Regardless of what you agree to now, you can always change your mind on this (because it is the right of the child). Are you waiving also support for major dental, high-level sport/arts, and university tuition?

                  Originally posted by secret_mum View Post
                  he can visit him.
                  You need to make it more specific, to ensure you have the same expectations of frequency and logistics. e.g.
                  - Father may spend 2 separate 1 week vacations with the child during the summer break. Put a deadline on when these weeks must be picked. Alternate who gets first picks each year.
                  - Father must request visits, giving at least 1 month notice. If more frequent visits are desired, then the parents must agree on a regular schedule.
                  - Where will the access be (is dad just visiting at your house during the daytime, or does the child visit dad at his house).
                  - Will dad have access during holidays?
                  - You will provide notarized consent letter for father's requests to travel out of country or by air. Consent not to be unreasonably withheld.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    here you can use this template.

                    www.dosrpg.net/other/Offer.doc

                    Comment

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