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  • Vacation Email - STBX

    I have updated my summer holidays as follows and would like to have the kids

    July 6th – 14th (9 days)
    August 3rd – August 11th (9 days)
    August 23rd – September 2nd (11 days)

    That would be 29 of 63 days or 46% of summer vacation. Since it sounds like you will be spending more time down south rather than up north I’m sure I will get a weekend somewhere to make up the additional 2.5 days to make it 50/50.

    I need to confirm these dates this week as I have to move my on-call weeks around and make sure I avoid other people’s vacation.

    So if I do not hear from you by March 21st I will assume you are ok with this and I will confirm my vacation time with my manager.

    Thanks
    How is the following email requesting summer access time.

    I had originally requested The first week of July but I had it last year so she said she wanted it this year.

    She works for a school board so she is off all summer.

    Anyway would appreciate your input and let me know if I am being reasonable.

    Thanks

  • #2
    What was the point of the whole "down south vs up north" thing?

    Comment


    • #3
      I have updated my summer holidays as follows and would like to have the kids

      July 6th – 14th (9 days)
      August 3rd – August 11th (9 days)
      August 23rd – September 2nd (11 days)
      This is fine.

      That would be 29 of 63 days or 46% of summer vacation. Since it sounds like you will be spending more time down south rather than up north I’m sure I will get a weekend somewhere to make up the additional 2.5 days to make it 50/50.
      Take this stuff out. It sounds too argumentative. Get dates you want first. Fight over the 2.5 days LATER.

      I need to confirm these dates this week as I have to move my on-call weeks around and make sure I avoid other people’s vacation. If there are any issues with the dates I have indicated, please advise by March 21st so we can discuss arrangements. If I have not heard from you by EOD March 21, 2013 I will assume the dates are acceptable and proceed accordingly.
      Tweaked it a bit.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Janus View Post
        What was the point of the whole "down south vs up north" thing?
        My Mom, My Dad, and her parents all have cottages in Northern Ontario.

        Last summer the kids spent June 30th - August 20th up North and we split the time with the kids up there between all 3 cottages. This year stbx told me she won't be doing the same this year. I will be taking the kids to the cottage for all of the weeks I have asked for.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by NBDad View Post
          This is fine.



          Take this stuff out. It sounds too argumentative. Get dates you want first. Fight over the 2.5 days LATER.



          Tweaked it a bit.
          I will take that out.

          The rewording is great thanks.

          Comment


          • #6
            NB Dad did an awesome job of fixing that for you. Sounds perfect now.

            FYI, cottages do not exist in Northern Ontario - we have 'camps' lol!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by mom2three View Post
              NB Dad did an awesome job of fixing that for you. Sounds perfect now.

              FYI, cottages do not exist in Northern Ontario - we have 'camps' lol!!
              You are correct they are camps. Lol. But many don't understand what a camp is.

              Comment


              • #8
                Camp is when we go out with our feather boas.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Here is her response

                  I need to confirm the dates with my family and I need more time and notice then a couple of days so I am not agreeing to any of it until I talk to people up north and *boyfriend*! Also I am not dealing with summer until you have discussed with me your expectations for Easter with the cost and distribution of gifts for the kids! So as per your deadline of EOD March 21, 2013 I am not agreeing to your proposed schedule until I confirm dates with my family and decide when I will be going up *north*! Thank you for your time
                  Here is my tentative response

                  As for Easter.

                  We can split the cost of the chocolate and we are on our own for gifts.

                  As for you not having enough time I first addressed this issue in an email dated January 24th, 2013. I told you in that email the urgency of me booking my vacation. In response to that email you told me you wanted the first week of July since I had it last year. I have now given you the first week of July as per your request. I also asked for a summer vacation proposal back from you which you did not provide.

                  Since I no longer have time to wait I am booking the holidays as listed below now and you can work around my holidays since you don’t need to book any holidays as you are off all summer. As mentioned I have already given you the first week of July as per your request and I have also not chosen the week of your birthday so there should be no further issues with the schedule as listed below. You can now tell your family and *boyfriend* what time you have available for vacation.
                  Am I being to forward and confrontational.

                  Again your suggestions are welcome.

                  Thanks

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I've gotten the following 3 texts from her since 12:21

                    12:21 - Ur email had no mention of Easter what is going on with the gifts
                    1:11 - If I do not hear from u regarding Easter I will assume u don't give a shit about ur kids or the Easter bunny. I will be keeping the kids with me at *boyfriend* and return them to u by noon on Sunday
                    1:17 - I don't understand why u have to be so difficult about this and yet again u lied to me u told me we would discuss this ur not being civil or communicating at all
                    Fun times.

                    I have not responded to any of them.

                    Instead I sent the following email at 1:16 pm.

                    Subject - Easter

                    What are you proposing?
                    she can chew on that for a while.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Another one.

                      1:25 - I just want all this fighting to stop *FB_* seriously it's not good for the kids we need to get along better and communicate better

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        fun day

                        1:31 - U wanna settle summer with me yet U can't even settle Easter and it's next week
                        We already settled Easter. She has Friday Sat I have Sun Mon and we agreed we would both be home for the Easter Bunny.

                        I think she is looking for me to subsidize the gifts she may have bought the kids.

                        I don't see any benefit in that for me.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          FB:

                          Good on not answering the texts...the only text I would send is this:

                          "As previously requested, barring the event of an emergency, please send messages via email"

                          That is literally the only text I would send her...I'd do it intermittently on the days she sends multiple texts.

                          As for Easter. Simply copy and post the emails that you've already sent on the issue, like this:

                          Per the email dated XX/XX/XXXX at X:XX, copy of previous agreement. Do the same thing with the thing with the candy/presents. Ignore everything else.

                          This:

                          Subject - Easter

                          What are you proposing?

                          Is a very bad idea and you need to stop doing this sort of thing. A couple things I've learned the hard way.

                          1) Do not fall prey to their lunacy. If you've already answered a question...don't invite conversation by acting like you didn't.
                          2) Don't ask questions..particularly open-ended ones like this.

                          Stop the unnecessary communication. Re-iterate in email that you have an agreed upon schedule for Easter and any violation of that will be logged.

                          Keep copies of the emails and attach them in your daily log. Respond to nothing else.

                          Stop playing her games!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by oink View Post
                            Is it the same person sending the texts?

                            Tell her to refer to texts 12.12, 1:11 and 1:17

                            Now she wants to get all warm and fuzzy
                            This is her standard operating procedure.

                            1. Ask a question
                            2. Get impatient
                            3. Make a threat
                            4. Claim to be the reasonable person
                            5. Make an accusation (aka You're being unreasonable)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Here is her email response

                              How are we splitting up the cost of the Easter bunny the gifts, and the money in the eggs! Please text me your response I no longer have email access once I leave the school! This game your playing is just ridiculous if I don't hear from you via text I will assume you are not contributing to the Easter bunny. I then will keep the children with me so they know who their gifts r from and I will return them to you on Easter at Noon!

                              Comment

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