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  • #91
    Could you also hide the eggs at your aunt's house later on or at or some other close friend or family member's home so that stbx can drop the kids off and then you can do your own thing with the kids and your Dad and family ( and she doesnt have to be involved) If you force your hand on the "bring them home early Sunday morning" subject, you also run the risk of her waking them early Sunday and bringing them to you very tired... (something i have a feeling she would just love to do!!) Just an idea and then there's no opportunity for her to be high conflict....

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    • #92
      I am happy to report there were zero issues. She brought the kids home at 8:00 am they did the Easter egg hunt etc. She left shortly after.

      The kids and I spent the rest of the weekend with my dad who had come down for the weekend from out of town.

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      • #93
        Originally posted by FB_ View Post
        I am happy to report there were zero issues...
        The kids and I spent the rest of the weekend with my dad who had come down for the weekend from out of town.
        Good to hear FB.
        I was able to pick up D4 without issues as well, for Easter this weekend, despite threats from the ex before, claiming otherwise. Glad you had a good weekend.

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        • #94
          Originally posted by FB_ View Post
          I am happy to report there were zero issues. She brought the kids home at 8:00 am they did the Easter egg hunt etc. She left shortly after.

          The kids and I spent the rest of the weekend with my dad who had come down for the weekend from out of town.
          All bark, no bite. Just don't let yourself get intimidated by all the barking and cave in.

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          • #95
            Originally posted by oink View Post
            Allelujah....what got into her, that is so out of character ain't it?
            Well it didn't last long

            I coach my son's hockey team and we have been trying to get them into a tournament for a month.

            I finally got confirmation last week from the tournament.

            As she was leaving on Sunday morning she told me she didn't give her permission for the tournament and wouldn't be paying any of the $95.00.

            She was copied on all of the 50+ emails that were sent to the entire team. She waits until after we have already confirmed the tournament to tell me she disagrees. These team emails started the first week of March. She never said a word until after the fact.

            Of course she plans on attending the tournament to watch and cheer him on, which is fine by me.

            It's my access weekend and I have made all the arrangements for him to be there as well as making sure my daughter still attends her gymnastics.

            She is now only emailing though no more text which is good.

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            • #96
              Originally posted by FB_ View Post
              She was copied on all of the 50+ emails that were sent to the entire team. She waits until after we have already confirmed the tournament to tell me she disagrees. These team emails started the first week of March. She never said a word until after the fact.
              She was kept informed. Her lack of responding is not a substitute for withholding permission. If she wants to disagree to the expenses, she needs to confirm this before the decision is made.

              And by the way, if she can afford the expense, I believe she has to agree. She can refuse the expense if it is going to put her in financial difficulties. So unless the $95.00 is going to put her in the poor house, she is required to pay.

              My ex. tried to do this for a couple of hundred dollars, and his lawyer just looked at him and said pay. He could more than afford it, he just didn't want to pay.

              For future communication I would send her an e-mail that says if she doesn't respond by xx date, you will consider her permission granted.

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              • #97
                Originally posted by frustratedwithex View Post
                She was kept informed. Her lack of responding is not a substitute for withholding permission. If she wants to disagree to the expenses, she needs to confirm this before the decision is made.

                And by the way, if she can afford the expense, I believe she has to agree. She can refuse the expense if it is going to put her in financial difficulties. So unless the $95.00 is going to put her in the poor house, she is required to pay.

                My ex. tried to do this for a couple of hundred dollars, and his lawyer just looked at him and said pay. He could more than afford it, he just didn't want to pay.

                For future communication I would send her an e-mail that says if she doesn't respond by xx date, you will consider her permission granted.
                Like Oink said...it's irrelevant. I'll pay the $95.00 as it's something my son will enjoy. She was well informed and I already told her I don't care if she doesn't pay.

                Thanks

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                • #98
                  I sent my stbx an email this afternoon clarifying who was responsible for the kids if they are sick on which days. Since we are doing after school to before school re: access time. I suggested the parent that has them in the morning is responsible for them until they are done school and the other parent would pick them up.

                  Anyway she agreed but added the following.

                  The only thing I have with this is you have the resources like your mother and grandmother to help you watch them. I don't have this at all and I can't always be staying home with them. You have the ability to work from home. So maybe instead of always doing "the your day, you deal with it" we can work together for the best interest of the children which would be a family member to watch them if possible
                  AKA Lets work together by you making all the arrangements because your work is somewhat flexible.

                  and she just sent a second email

                  Also it doesn't seem fair that the kids for some reason always need to be picked up or stay home on my days. We will have to work together to come up with an arrangement that is fair and equal just another thought on this matter
                  Frustrating when she wants sole custody.

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                  • #99
                    I suppose document these instances, and perhaps they can be used to help argue against "sole custody" for Mom, if she's insistent on that. I don't think Mom will be getting "sole custody".

                    You have the better "network" or family support, it sounds like, for child care, and that can be presented towards your child's best interests. At the very least, she can't argue you have "no support network". lol.

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                    • Ahhh...the beauty of email and an ex-spouse who's too clueless to realize what they just put in writing.

                      So basically, she's requesting sole custody but:

                      1) Can't manage the kids on her days if there's any deviation to their normal routine.
                      2) Admits that your work schedule allows you more flexibility to take care of the children...particularly when there's a serious issue...like them being sick, and..
                      3) You have the support network...not her.

                      Aren't you now glad you pushed using email so you have that in writing.

                      Its GOLD if you're going to have a custody evaluation. Make sure you make copies of that.

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                      • Lol...don't be frustrated. Agree with her!!!

                        ie.."Yes you are right. I have the support network of friends and family and the flexible work schedule required to handle the children in the event they need to be picked up. I will take care of them in that circumstance from now on."

                        lol...she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is she?

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                        • Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                          Ahhh...the beauty of email and an ex-spouse who's too clueless to realize what they just put in writing.

                          So basically, she's requesting sole custody but:

                          1) Can't manage the kids on her days if there's any deviation to their normal routine.
                          2) Admits that your work schedule allows you more flexibility to take care of the children...particularly when there's a serious issue...like them being sick, and..
                          3) You have the support network...not her.

                          Aren't you now glad you pushed using email so you have that in writing.

                          Its GOLD if you're going to have a custody evaluation. Make sure you make copies of that.
                          LOL.

                          Good point and thank you!!!

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                          • I got a text from stbx last night which I ignored.

                            I then got the text in an email this afternoon. Not sure if/how I should respond.

                            Basically she says we need to talk about what we are going to do for our son's first communion next weekend. She asked if we should be buying a cake as she doesn't want to buy a cake if no one is coming over. Sounds like she wants a party.

                            It's my access weekend.

                            I want to just tell her it's my access weekend and if she wants to plan a party it should be on her access weekend.

                            I am not religious and could really care less about the whole thing but it does mean something to my son...

                            Thanks

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                            • its your weekend, say no.

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                              • If it means something to your son, I think you should have something. My youngest is doing her first communion (a year late) this year. The schools really play it up as something very important. It would be hard for your boy to hear about the celebrations of his friends later. Have a cake.

                                My ex didn't want to be with my family to celebrate and it is "my" weekend. I compromised with my ex by saying he could have the kids for two hours directly after the service. He was happy with this and him/new gf/grandparents will go to a restaurant to eat.

                                My family will meet at my house for cake and coffee after ex's time and they can see the kids then. That way everyone gets a little time and my daughter gets to celebrate with both parents.

                                It is a very important day in the life of a Catholic child. I don't think you will regret making it a little special.
                                Last edited by SadAndTired; 04-11-2013, 06:32 PM.

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