Argument for 50 -50 shared joint custody

[wretchedotis]

It's also proven to be in the child’s best interests.

Source?

I'm assuming you're using this for court purposes. It's not enough to just say this is so - where is your proof?

I've said similar before a Judge in the past, his response was that even though he agreed with the sentiment - I needed to prove it, not just say it.

[FB_]

I've sent you a PM.

I also thought I would post this as it's relevant

Prepare a factum that will set out the main facts and the law(cases and legislation) that we are relying upon. I will include cases that show that the maximum contact principle and status quo should be respected at this stage.

You do need to prove based on case law and legislation that what you are saying is in fact a fact.

[wretchedotis]

I don't see anything wrong with it. I might suggest that you punch up how well the child is doing in school and extra-curriculars.

Chances are a good student is a well brought up child - and that would be the result of good parenting from both parents.

[Rioe]

Summer and other Holidays: Child finally met his cousins, aunts and uncles (my family) overseas when I took him there just before Xmas in Dec 2012. There was an instant bond with everyone, and they loved him. I made a promise to child to take him back there 2-3 weeks at a time during the summer/Xmas each year.

I would remove the part about how you promised the child to go overseas. That sounds like you are trying to put the child into the middle of things, and also makes your ex out to be the bad guy if it doesn't work out.

Just say something about how you want the summer schedule to include at least a two week consecutive access so that you can repeat your overseas holidays that went so well and maintain the bonds already created with your family.

In conclusion, everyone that has had the pleasure of meeting child (5yrs), is left amazed at how eloquent, smart and energetic he is for his age. These traits and attributes stem from the combination of input from both of us (Father & Mother) to date.

And here I would say that your child has been thriving with the current shared access to both parents, and this should continue as equally as possible after separation and divorce by having 50-50 access. End on a child-centred note.

[LakeErie]

Ok, for a five year old child it would be much easier.

[LakeErie]

Thank you...I hope the judge sees it just the way and others and myself are seeing.

The thing about our situation is that, there is no history of violence, abandonment or don't care attitude. I recently put togetehr a scrap book of pictures starting from the moment the child was in my arms at the hospital, to 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th birthday, with pics of activities and travels over the years with comments attached.

The point of this? To show that I have always been and continue to be involved with our child.

I did exactly that! I chose some photos showing how I have been involved in her life, with grandparents, aunt/uncle, activities etc. It helps.

But I guess your STBX may also file some photos. In my case, my ex had more photos (and it is true that she spent more time with the Child).

[Mess]

Question to you all: What is the best way to answer to the respondent's answer after the 30 days? By this I mean format etc

This is a small formal debate. You make an argument; the other party responds to refute your argument; they make their argument; you respond to refute their argument. These are the Application, Answer, and Reply.

These should stick to the proper format. The other party's Answer should first reply to your arguments, then state their own. A badly written answer will jumble the two.

Likewise, your Reply should ONLY address the arguments made in the other party's Answer. You should not try to restate anything in your orginal Application. Ideally you should not try to add any new arguments of your own.

Be clear about what is an argument and what is a refutation. An argument gives reasons why something should be so. The refutation address those reasons. You can do this several ways.

You can address the supporting facts and show that they are false. To do this you should have your own factual evidence to discredit these claims. It is also possible, if you are good, to discredit a fact by showing that there is no logical way something could have happened.

You can address the warrant or relevance, and show that some fact or reasoning has no logical connection to issues. For example your ex claims to have been primary caregiver for the first year. The child is now 10, was in daycare prior to school, and in school since; the ex has been back at work. You therefore show that the fact of the first year has no relevance to the current issue of custody.

You show that the supporting argument has no logical basis. For example, the other party claims that because you work full time, you cannot be custodial parent. If A is true, then B cannot. This is not a logical argument; it has not been shown that A prevents B. You first state that there is no support for the supposition, and then if possible provide examples where the opposite is true.

So it will look something like this:

"(stated argument)" is not true;
i) it does not follow that "A" cannot happen along with "B";
ii) these examples (state, and attach support) show that both can happen together;
iii) the Respondant's supporting facts are false, as per the attached;
iv) the Respondant's claim of the period 2001-2002 is not relevant to the current issue.

[arabian]

Doesn't hurt to agree to the odd thing in legal responses. Conceding to some points she makes in her response shows you are reasonable. Small points though - don't sell yourself short. If she says something like she is a devoted and caring mother you can respond and say you agree with that statement and would add that you are a devoted and caring father.

[firhill]

Doesn't hurt to agree to the odd thing in legal responses. Conceding to some points she makes in her response shows you are reasonable.

I agree.

At my SC, I commended the Respondent a couple of times in my brief and the Judge took the time to acknowledge it.

So that type of thing does not always go unnoticed.

[arabian]

You could simply add on to the statement ..... as outlined in the attached parenting plan (Parenting Plan, etc.).

Most of my lawyer's responses, on a point-by-point response referenced an attachment or a previously submitted affidavit by defendant including date (which is found in continuing record I believe).

I recall that Baldclub developed a very detailed and thoughtful parenting plan. You might be able to borrow some statements from that.

[arabian]

I can recall early into my divorce ordeal that I received a bunch of affidavits from my then-husband. The affidavits were most certainly completed by his sister and g/f (pretty easy to determine when you are married to someone for a long time as you know their writing style). I was outraged by all of the lies. I would promptly respond in kind and fire off to my lawyer. Needless to say, my responses were never used. My lawyer managed me well. Responses to anything has been fact based and not emotional whatsoever. On the other hand, my ex's responses were a total train wreck for him. One example is that in the initial affidavits he spewed off how I was a terrible mother (our son at time of divorce was 28) how I was incompetent in my role as his business partner, and so on. It totally back-fired on him when the topic of SS came up at the divorce. He desperately tried to back pedal by saying how intelligent and capable I was. Judge did not miss that at all and questioned him on it. Everything you say in an affidavit is kept on record. If you position yourself to go through your court process like a chess player you will do well.

Baldhead's posts were early last summer or late spring I believe.

[hadenough]

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...estions-13064/

And...

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...dy-more-13841/

[wretchedotis]

This is a small formal debate. You make an argument; the other party responds to refute your argument; they make their argument; you respond to refute their argument. These are the Application, Answer, and Reply.

These should stick to the proper format. The other party's Answer should first reply to your arguments, then state their own. A badly written answer will jumble the two.

Likewise, your Reply should ONLY address the arguments made in the other party's Answer. You should not try to restate anything in your orginal Application. Ideally you should not try to add any new arguments of your own.

Be clear about what is an argument and what is a refutation. An argument gives reasons why something should be so. The refutation address those reasons. You can do this several ways.

You can address the supporting facts and show that they are false. To do this you should have your own factual evidence to discredit these claims. It is also possible, if you are good, to discredit a fact by showing that there is no logical way something could have happened.

You can address the warrant or relevance, and show that some fact or reasoning has no logical connection to issues. For example your ex claims to have been primary caregiver for the first year. The child is now 10, was in daycare prior to school, and in school since; the ex has been back at work. You therefore show that the fact of the first year has no relevance to the current issue of custody.

You show that the supporting argument has no logical basis. For example, the other party claims that because you work full time, you cannot be custodial parent. If A is true, then B cannot. This is not a logical argument; it has not been shown that A prevents B. You first state that there is no support for the supposition, and then if possible provide examples where the opposite is true.

So it will look something like this:

"(stated argument)" is not true;
i) it does not follow that "A" cannot happen along with "B";
ii) these examples (state, and attach support) show that both can happen together;
iii) the Respondant's supporting facts are false, as per the attached;
iv) the Respondant's claim of the period 2001-2002 is not relevant to the current issue.

Doesn't hurt to agree to the odd thing in legal responses. Conceding to some points she makes in her response shows you are reasonable. Small points though - don't sell yourself short. If she says something like she is a devoted and caring mother you can respond and say you agree with that statement and would add that you are a devoted and caring father.

I kinda stopped reading after these two posts (above).

But these above quotes are PURE GOLD.

[wretchedotis]

Too much emotion. Period.

The reason why the system uses so many 'conferences' is to allow people like you (and ME once upon a time) to cool down and relax.

Unfortunately, the system is flawed. In that (myself personally) I needed twice the time to get to the point that I was very much less emeotionally invested in the perceived 'wrong doing'.

I totally don't expect you to understand that point of view yet, but one day - you will.

[involveddad75]

I did exactly that! I chose some photos showing how I have been involved in her life, with grandparents, aunt/uncle, activities etc. It helps.

But I guess your STBX may also file some photos. In my case, my ex had more photos (and it is true that she spent more time with the Child).

In my case I sudmitted a photo diary of our children's entire life. One page for each month the children were alive. It included about 900 photos.
took me weeks to do it. But well worth it.

A note to others thinking about doing this. I spinkled pictures of mom as well in my dairy as she was there, and was involved. My case was about how I was inclusive and mom's case was about excluding me.