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  • #1
    I would NOT take any offer that is not 50/50

    JMO and I don't know why the specific legal advice was given.

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    • #2
      I wish I could applaud your noble cause of the 'best interests of the child'. Instead, all I see is "I don't wanna pay".

      But having said that. Do not accept less than what you want 'in the meantime', as the 'meantime' will turn into 'all the time'.

      Reconsider the CCTB as well, it is a factor in court.

      You could always claim it, and give the money to your ex afterwards. But the benefit is still technically yours....
      Last edited by wretchedotis; 03-04-2013, 02:04 PM.

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      • #3
        Originally posted by oink View Post
        I am already caving to CCTB instead of alternating it,
        This is not your choice. You have to follow CRA rules on this one. Which means, if you have 50-50, then you alternate.

        Comment


        • #4
          Just my thoughts....

          -as dinkyface notes, you MUST follow CRA rules on the CCTB, you can't "give" her more CCTB than CRA says she is eligible for. Even the CRA website makes note of this. Keep in minds most lawyers have no effin clue about taxes or worse yet, "think" they know lol.

          -If you think you can get her to "sign off" on SS, DO IT !! I wouldn't offer SS unless you know you have to. Keep in mind that unlike CS, SS is "grey" which has the potential to lead to never ending legal headaches and challenges for years.

          -Assuming IF you lose Friday night alternating, IF that still gives you at least the "magic 40%" I would consider it. Make bloody sure its still at least 40% though..... Try for 50% but if 42% (not sure of exact amount) will do the trick, avoid SS, and avoid more legal costs/drama I would lean toward it.

          -with respect to S7; insist upon proportional to income. You never know if YOUR income might drop - I wouldn't volunteer to pay the bulk of it - proportional is better IMO.

          -Medical and Dental - suggest you add "provided it's available to you through an employer" or words to that effect. You might lose a job and with it benefits down the road.

          Good luck !

          Comment


          • #5
            Originally posted by shellshocked22 View Post
            -Medical and Dental - suggest you add "provided it's available to you through an employer" or words to that effect. You might lose a job and with it benefits down the road.
            Or, as in my case, your employer may offer it at a reduced cost i.e. you pay premiums, but they are maybe 50% of what you'd pay otherwise. In my case, my kid's portion of the premium was about $40-50/mo, so for you that would work out to about $12-$15/mo that you are offering to cover. Maybe set a cost limit, above which she must contribute? And that would cover the situation where you become unemployed.
            Last edited by dinkyface; 03-04-2013, 02:55 PM.

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            • #6
              Originally posted by shellshocked22 View Post
              Just my thoughts....

              -Medical and Dental - suggest you add "provided it's available to you through an employer" or words to that effect. You might lose a job and with it benefits down the road.
              And to add to this, specifically...word it so both parents will keep child covered "provided it's available to them through an employer" etc etc... It should not fall onto one parent - though it often does. No reason this statement can`t be worded to apply to both parents, in the child`s best interests. Especially if one were to lose a job.

              There is often co-ordination of benefits available, between the parents, if both parents were to actually do this. ex. One parent has 80% coverage for `health' as an example...and the other parent has 20% coverage. It helps.

              Comment


              • #7
                Originally posted by oink View Post
                S
                1. You guys are saying you will take the 42 - 58% offer? (mon,tues overnights and alternate weekends starting on sat 8am and ending sun 8pm
                But that can be argued as being under 40%! (using the normal overnight-counting method). And it makes for really crappy weekends. Also, 8pm is pretty late for handovers on a school night.

                We each get 4wks summer vacation, taken as 1 + 1 + 2 (i.e. at most 2 wks are consecutive). We alternate who gets first choice each year.

                We aternate easter and march break.

                We split the 2week xmas break 50-50, alternating who goes 1st/2nd (xmas falls in 1st half, newyears falls in 2nd half). Again, using the rule that the period runs from last day of school to first day of school, which means handover on the middle Saturday.

                Long weekends (including thanksgiving) go to whoever has the kids that weekend - it works out fairly in the long run.
                Last edited by dinkyface; 03-04-2013, 03:40 PM.

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                • #8
                  Originally posted by oink View Post
                  So here is what am hearing so far....

                  1. You guys are saying you will take the 42 - 58% offer? (mon,tues overnights and alternate weekends starting on sat 8am and ending sun 8pm
                  ...
                  5. In the percentage situation above, what happens during summer holidays, long weekends, xmas and easter etc?
                  I would not take that, but that is just my own personal opinion...again, why aren't Friday nights also included in the weekend? I would adjust the weekend to include it, and if she wants to fight that, she can be the one to explain why weekends don't include Friday nights. If someone is going to fight over Friday nights, I think it shows, that she's counting hours, in my opinion.

                  Your agreement, should have holidays, long weekends, etc...spelled out, so you're not fighting over them later, and to avoid ambiguity.

                  ex. ...such access on weekends to begin at x time, the holiday Friday, or extend to x time on the holiday Monday, during a "long weekend'.

                  Some people have specific clauses for "special long weekends"...typically Easter and Thanksgiving.

                  Comment


                  • #9
                    Originally posted by oink View Post
                    So here is what am hearing so far....

                    1. You guys are saying you will take the 42 - 58% offer? (mon,tues overnights and alternate weekends starting on sat 8am and ending sun 8pm

                    2. I happen to be the one with the health coverage (both medical and dental thru the govt)

                    3. If as you said you take this offer, what other caveats would you add to the CS?

                    4. would you even bother offering SS even though mycalculator says so?

                    5. In the percentage situation above, what happens during summer holidays, long weekends, xmas and easter etc?
                    There is no reason that Friday nights and even Sunday nights should not be included in the weekend. Drop-off and pick-ups occur at school. So weekend would be Friday after school to Monday at school. Monday after school to Wednesday at school. Wednesday after school to Friday at school.

                    Unless there is some reason that this would not work, which I am unaware of.

                    You also have to come to an agreement if the kid is sick Wednesday morning or Monday morning what happens, who would be responsible for watching the child during the day?

                    Comment


                    • #10
                      Originally posted by oink View Post
                      I think you are missing the point here.....I'll have mon and tues overnights, and drop the child off at school on Wed morning.

                      On my alternating weekends, I'll pick up on saturday at 8am and drop off at 8pm sunday
                      Following the usual overnight-counting method:
                      Mon/Tues -> 2d/week
                      Sat overnights, alternating weeks -> 0.5d/week
                      That adds up to 2.5d/7d = 35.7%.

                      Are you getting some other %?

                      Or was 'the point' not about the %?

                      Comment


                      • #11
                        Oink, I suspect you may not be properly grasping how "percentage custody" is calculated. My understanding is that the legislation does NOT clearly "define" how its actually calculated - BUT generally speaking its counted as "overnight". Thus, as noted by dinkyface, you will likely get ZERO "credit" for Friday and Sunday and therefore have UNDER 40% which means YOU pay full CS and your ex could be earning a $1 million a year with no impact on your FULL CS payment. Never mind the fact that why shouldn't the child stay with you those nights. As others have noted - go for INCLUDING Friday night and Sunday night.

                        Make sure you get at least 40% access "as the court would define it".

                        Comment


                        • #12
                          Ah, it kind of threw me when you insisted "On my alternating weekends, I'll pick up on saturday at 8am and drop off at 8pm sunday".

                          That's better then, but weekend planning still sucks when you don't have Friday overnight. Not to mention that you have those early morning Saturday handovers (worse for your ex).

                          Comment


                          • #13
                            The reason you are getting a jumble of replies is because you are not clear...

                            First you state this....

                            Originally posted by oink View Post
                            I think you are missing the point here.....I'll have mon and tues overnights, and drop the child off at school on Wed morning.

                            On my alternating weekends, I'll pick up on saturday at 8am and drop off at 8pm sunday
                            Which suggests you ONLY have Saturday overnight, because SUNDAY you drop off at 8pm...

                            Then you say this...

                            Here is what she proposed

                            Monday overnight...for me

                            Tuesday overnight ...for me

                            wednesday overnight.....stbx

                            thursday overnight.......stbx

                            Friday........................stbx

                            Weekends.....saturday and sunday overnights.......both of us alternating.
                            Can you see how some may get confused? If this does end up in court, or even if you are counter offering...make sure you are very clear on what you are saying, because a slight mix up in wording like you did above, can cause you that 40%...

                            If you have both Saturday and Sunday overnights on alternate weekends, you have 6 out of 14 nights, or 42-43%... so you are still under the 50-50 time share you are seeking, however you would have shared parenting... again, think about how this will effect your weekends... if Mom has every Friday...what happens if she decides to go away on a Friday night... do you really think she will be available for an 8am exchange if she chooses to go out of town on a Friday night? You are really setting yourself up for a world of hassle...

                            Comment


                            • #14
                              Originally posted by oink View Post
                              Guys...please read my original post again and the follow up one

                              Here is what she proposed

                              Monday overnight...for me

                              Tuesday overnight ...for me

                              wednesday overnight.....stbx

                              thursday overnight.......stbx

                              Friday........................stbx

                              Weekends.....saturday and sunday overnights.......both of us alternating.

                              When its my weekend, child sleeps at my place sat and sun and I drop him off at school on Monday morning, which might mean I have 4 overnights straight sometimes (sat, sun, mon, tues....then drop child off wed morning at school), where she then picks child up

                              Are you following me now? So when you look at it, I am getting 6 out of 14days (the missing Friday)
                              You would still be over the 40% margin. So that is a plus. i have always liked the 2-5-5-2 access model (what was proposed but if you made the Friday night alternating with the weekend), especially for young kids.

                              Comment


                              • #15
                                It really depends on much that extra day means to you. Saturday morning exchanges suck, so I wouldn't. If you are ok with the 60/40 propose something that would have all exchanges happen at a consistent time (ie after school)

                                For summer holidays, guage it to how much you can expect to take (total days available - Christmas - March Break - personal days anticipated = what you ask for).

                                Sometimes it's easiest to just say you will alternate the middle 4 weeks of the summer week on week off. Otherwise Give your ex the first choice one year and your ex the next.

                                decide which of the Stat holidays mean the most to both of you and figure out how you will share them (as mentioned before these are usually easter and Thanksgiving) the rest I would suggest it be by chance whoever's weekend it is (you will find that some years you get most of them and others she gets most of them but thems the breaks)

                                For Christmas, if you each have family events take those into account. There are 17 overnights in that time split them as equally as possible. Make sure you each get the kids Christmas Morning on alternating years.

                                March break is different as per your situation. if you would normally take the time off work split it or alternate it, if you would typically put your kids in camps, just continue the regular schedule.

                                That's my two cents. I can pull up some possible wordings if you like.

                                Comment

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