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  • Stonewalled

    I recently went to trial back in mid-September, to which I was vilified as the bad father due to minor occurrences and half truths. I self represented myself and she had a lawyer that exploited everything she could.
    Needless to say I did not come away with an Order in my favour including many of the requests I wanted or near enough parenting time. And the mother of my children has sole custody to which I feel she is abusing now.
    The trial judge gave his endorsement and recommended we settle any minor orders sought in writing through her lawyer. I received the draft Order in early October and replied promptly requesting a few minor amendments. One being adding an item addressing the Christmas break that was near identical in both of our orders being sought but omitted in the judges endorsement.
    This reply seemed to be ignored as the Final Order came in the mail to me later exactly the way it was drafted from her lawyer.
    My current access regime is every other weekend access and once a week dinner time access plus holidays as establish in the Order.
    I have may several request via email for extended time to which she denies me for in my view are invalid reasons and redirects me to deal through her lawyer.
    The past Christmas break I sent her lawyer my proposal back in early November so I could allow time to book off with my employer. It was all but ignored until the second week in December to which she only agreed to half of the time I requested with no explanation at all.
    Further issues have been submitted to her lawyer to address such as the lack of sending my son's inhalers for his asthma on a consistent basis.
    I feel as if I am being stonewalled with the lack of responses to the concerns that have arisen over the past few months. I feel she is not complying with the clause in the order stating the Mother shall not withhold any reasonable requests for extended access.
    What can I do to get responses to my concerns ? And what can I do to get my fair parenting time with my children?

  • #2
    what were the minor occurances and half truths?

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    • #3
      Originally posted by CMDad View Post
      What can I do to get responses to my concerns ? And what can I do to get my fair parenting time with my children?
      How far do you live from your children? Why does the mother have sole custody? What are you willing to do to be more present in your children's lives?

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      • #4
        I live 20 minutes outside of Hamilton. My children are in Hamilton with their mother.
        The mothers request was for sole custody, the trial judge granted it to her based on the fact that communication between her and myself is not great. We agree we have different opinions on a lot of issues, but she rarely backs down on any of them. It is very much her view that "she is right and I am wrong".
        We can rarely make any compromise as communication generally breaks down and she "punishes" me by revoking my addition access time I may have worked out previously.

        I seek additional time with my children whenever it is feasible.
        Simple requests of extending access to the children's PA days adjacent to my access weekends.
        Suggesting I take children to school Monday proceeding my access weekends.
        Part of my access regime is alternating Tuesday and Thursday dinner access which I take most of the time but sometimes cannot due to work and travel time from work in Mississauga. This is when I suggest alternate arrangements such as the above, but they are never considered.
        I want to have a much time with my children as I can.

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        • #5
          You need a lawyer. Obviously the self rep route is not working well for you. It's not something that you can do without a great deal of preparation.

          Keep everything documented via email. Send the ex the email asking for an extra PE day or holiday at least 60 days in advance. CC her lawyer. Request a response in 10 days.

          If no response is forthcoming,you send a letter via registered mail, signature required to her asking the same thing...ask for a response in 20 days. (Or confirm if he lawyer will accept service on her behalf...in which case you send HIM the registered letter).

          Rinse and repeat. When you have an established pattern of your access requests being ignored (3+) then you have a pattern of behavior you can attempt to leverage for additional time.

          You do not have to agree with her, there is such a thing as "parallel parenting". If communication is a problem, ask for Our Family Wizard to be leveraged as the communication method.

          Insofar as the inhalers...contact the doctor and get a one off prescription you can get to keep at your home. When it's about 1/2 way out, go and get another one.

          The trick is to limit her ability to interfere...she's being retarded about an inhaler? Sidestep her and make alternate arrangements to make sure the kid has what he needs at your place.

          She's not sending appropriate winter clothing? Take a trip to the local thrift store and pick up some odds and ends.

          Comment

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