2-2-5-5 --> 50-50 Residential Schedule Explained

[Tayken]

Hi All,

To save many the pain and agony of massive legal bills, outragious "Section 30" "expert" advice and to assist in resolving common 50-50 residency schedule issues here is what a 2-2-5-5 access schedule looks like...

I am sure I will get hate private messages from private custody and access evaluators for this one...

Week 1:

Monday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)
Parent 2 drops off child(ren) to school/daycare; Parent 1 picks up.

Tuesday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)

Wednesday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)
Parent 1 drops off child(ren) to school/daycare; Parent 2 picks up.

Thursday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)

Friday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)
Parent 2 drops off child(ren) to school/daycare; Parent 1 picks up.

Saturday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)

Sunday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)

Week 2:

Monday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)

Tuesday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)

Wednesday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)
Parent 1 drops off child(ren) to school/daycare; Parent 2 picks up.

Thursday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)

Friday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)

Saturday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)

Sunday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)

** Repeat to Week 1 -> Monday and continue...

Note:

(a) Equal number of overnights and weekends between Parent 1 and Parent 2.

(b) Same two weekday nights are free each week for either parent to work or do other things.

(c) Same two weekday nights children are with either parent to schedule special activities (piano lessons, swimming lessons, etc...).

(d) On the days that the children transfer residences, one parent takes the children to school/daycare and the other parent picks them up. This gives BOTH parents the opportunity to get to know the school/teachers/daycare workers and minimizing transitions with both parents present.

Special arrangements for exchanges that happen when school/daycare is closed:

Depending on the day (Monday or Wednesday) the exchange should happen at a mutually agreed upon location, and the exchange should happen at the time the children are being picked up from school/daycare (or you can choose to agree to when they are dropped off). This would be for national holidays, professional development days when there is no class or when the daycare provider is not provided. Generally, if you look at a calendar year with holidays, it only happens once or twice.

Good Luck!
Tayken

PS: I will write up the paragraphs that should go into a separation agreement / court order to this effect later in response to this thread that you can cut-and-paste into a document.

[dorano]

Thanks for sharing!
I thought it could be helpful to share my 50/50 arrangement also, as it may be of interest to others. Background: my children are 2.5 and 5 years old.

Week 1:

Monday - Parent 1 drops off and picks up at school/daycare, overnight
Tuesday - Parent 1 drops off - Parent 2 picks up and "visits" then returns the children to Parent 1 at 6:45pm
Wed: Parent 1
Thusday: Parent 1 drops off - Parent 2 picks up at school/daycare and has overnight visit with children
Friday: Parent 2 drops off at school/daycare, Parent 1 picks up - overnight
Saturday: Parent 1
Sunday: Parent 1 until 4pm when Parent 1 drops off at Parent 2's house to begin week #2. (overnight at Parent 2)

Week #2

Monday: Parent 2
Tuesday: Parent 2 drops off, Parent 1 picks up for visit until 645pm. Returns to Parent 2 for overnight
Wed: Parent 2
Thursday: Parent 2 drops off, Parent 1 picks up for overnight visit
Friday: Parent 1 drops off, Parent 1 picks up - overnight
Saturday: Parent 2
Sunday: Parent 2 until 4pm - Parent 2 drops off children at Parent 1's house to begin week 1 (overnight).

The children are doing well in this arrangement - they get to see both parents regularly, even on the "off" weeks which is important for this age group.

[sahibjee]

folks who have this kind of schedule going on, do you think the children feel better with the whole week on week off program or if they see each parent on alternating days?. i am not looking at whats more convenient for the parents but what works best for the child psychologically.

thx

[Mess]

I have seen with my children, they thrive with a couple of days of consistancy with one parent. Being organzed with their school work and house chores, having some days to settle in with one home. I certainly think that alternate days would be ridiculous.

I think a week on/week off schedule is too much the other way. Unless there is a lot of contact by phone or webcam, it is too long to spend away. Even after 3 or 4 days I look at my 8 year old and see a different person, different vocabulary, different ideas. I want to be a part of those changes, and so does my ex. So I have always felt a week apart is too much.

So, just my personal experience and observations, but if the intent is to truly have equal parenting, then this means equal involvement of both parents that doesn't get interrupted by long stretches apart. Depending on age, a week can be a huge time away. For kids in their mid-teens, maybe not so much.

[fireweb13]

My sister and her ex work on a 2 night, 2 night, 3 night schedule.
EG
Monday- Mom
Tues-Mom
Wed- Dad
Thurs- Dad
Fri-Mom
Sat-Mom
Sun-Mom
Mon- Dad
Tues-Dad

and so on and so forth. Their child is 3 right now and she seems well adjusted with this schedule. They also do an evening phone call so that their daughter can say goodnight to the other parent each night. In my opinion this schedule works out great. While the child can never really settle into one house they never really unsettle from both houses.

[Knave]

I have a 2-2-5-5 with my children (ages 2 and 4). Honestly, I am surprised that this is not the standard arrangement. It provides consistency for activities, allows frequent contact with both parents, and produces relatively little "churn" in terms of switching for the kids.

The 4-year old already pretty much gets the schedule. It is pretty easy to follow.

The way we think of it is in terms of evenings. So, if I have Monday evening, then I also have Tuesday morning until I bring the kids to school. If I have Sunday evening, then I also have Monday morning until I bring the kids to school. If I have Thursday, then I pick up the kids on Thursday.

So, the schedule:

Mon/Tue: Father
Wed/Thu: Mother
Fri/Sat/Sun: Alternates

March break is a full week, alternating each year, but weekends as normal.

More fully fleshed out example, starting on a Monday morning after a weekend with the mother:

Monday morning: Mother gets kids ready, brings them to school/daycare
Monday afternoon: Father picks up
Tuesday morning: Father gets kids ready
Tuesday afternoon: Father picks up
Wednesday morning: Father gets kids ready
Wednesday afternoon: Mother picks up
Thursday morning: Mother gets kids ready
Thursday afternoon: Mother picks up
Friday morning: Mother gets kids ready
Friday afternoon: Father picks up
Monday morning: Father gets kids ready
Monday afternoon: Father picks up
Tuesday morning: Father gets kids ready
Tuesday afternoon: Father picks up
Wednesday morning: Father gets kids ready
Wednesday afternoon: Mother picks up
Thursday morning: Mother gets kids ready
Thursday afternoon: Mother picks up
Friday morning: Mother gets kids ready
Friday afternoon: Mother picks up
Monday morning: Mother gets kids ready

And start process again.

[Knave]

More of 2-2-5-5

Since I have every monday, I can schedule an activity for the children without worrying about the impact on the other parent. If it works, then it works. The other day, a parent asked if we could have a playdate on a Tuesday in December. The answer was yes, without even checking with the other parent, because I knew for sure that the children were with me on Tuesday.

Also, those 5-day stretches allow for much deeper bonding, in my opinion, then frequent back and forths. Two days is a visit, 5 days is a stay.

We do not do nightly phone contact. My children remember me and are happy to see me when they see me. They are happy during their times with the other parent as well. I would not want to interfere with my children bonding with the other parent, and I presume that the other parent feels likewise.

Another benefit is that there is extremely minimal contact between parents. Unless it is a special day (holiday) I do not see the other parent at all. In other words, this schedule can work even for highly conflicted parents. Holidays will involve contact regardless of the schedule chosen, and 2-2-5-5 pretty much removes contact during other times.

Obviously, it would have been better had there been no separation, or such a rapid introduction of the children to new partners, or threats to grab full custody, or thefts from joint accounts, etc, but given the situation, I think that the schedule is the best that it could be.

[Tayken]

and so on and so forth. Their child is 3 right now and she seems well adjusted with this schedule. They also do an evening phone call so that their daughter can say goodnight to the other parent each night. In my opinion this schedule works out great. While the child can never really settle into one house they never really unsettle from both houses.

The "rule of thumb" on 2-3-3 versus 2-2-5-5 is the age of the child/ren in question. (Well, from the clinical texts I read on the matter anyway...)

Children 3 and under -> 2-2-3
Children 5 and over -> 2-2-5-5

Good Luck!
Tayken

[fireweb13]

The "rule of thumb" on 2-3-3 versus 2-2-5-5 is the age of the child/ren in question. (Well, from the clinical texts I read on the matter anyway...)

Children 3 and under -> 2-2-3
Children 5 and over -> 2-2-5-5

Good Luck!
Tayken

Would hate to be a 4 year old lol. Does make sense though.

[kidsRworthit]

EOW to 2-2-5-5 after 23 months?

Hi All,

To save many the pain and agony of massive legal bills, outragious "Section 30" "expert" advice and to assist in resolving common 50-50 residency schedule issues here is what a 2-2-5-5 access schedule looks like...

I am sure I will get hate private messages from private custody and access evaluators for this one...

Week 1:

Monday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)
Parent 2 drops off child(ren) to school/daycare; Parent 1 picks up.

Tuesday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)

Wednesday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)
Parent 1 drops off child(ren) to school/daycare; Parent 2 picks up.

Thursday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)

Friday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)
Parent 2 drops off child(ren) to school/daycare; Parent 1 picks up.

Saturday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)

Sunday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)

Week 2:

Monday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)

Tuesday:

Children with Parent 1 (overnight)

Wednesday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)
Parent 1 drops off child(ren) to school/daycare; Parent 2 picks up.

Thursday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)

Friday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)

Saturday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)

Sunday:

Children with Parent 2 (overnight)

** Repeat to Week 1 -> Monday and continue...

Note:

(a) Equal number of overnights and weekends between Parent 1 and Parent 2.

(b) Same two weekday nights are free each week for either parent to work or do other things.

(c) Same two weekday nights children are with either parent to schedule special activities (piano lessons, swimming lessons, etc...).

(d) On the days that the children transfer residences, one parent takes the children to school/daycare and the other parent picks them up. This gives BOTH parents the opportunity to get to know the school/teachers/daycare workers and minimizing transitions with both parents present.

Special arrangements for exchanges that happen when school/daycare is closed:

Depending on the day (Monday or Wednesday) the exchange should happen at a mutually agreed upon location, and the exchange should happen at the time the children are being picked up from school/daycare (or you can choose to agree to when they are dropped off). This would be for national holidays, professional development days when there is no class or when the daycare provider is not provided. Generally, if you look at a calendar year with holidays, it only happens once or twice.

Good Luck!
Tayken

PS: I will write up the paragraphs that should go into a separation agreement / court order to this effect later in response to this thread that you can cut-and-paste into a document.

Situation:

EOW 7-7 for 23 months.
Worked well for kids d11 and s9 when mom and dad lived 3 minute walk apart, and we each saw children daily (most of first school year: mom homework after school, dad: kids breakfast, teeth cleaned, on bus: irrespective of who's parenting week)
Move: mom moved 30 mins. away. Changed everything: no daily contact between parents and children.

Comment: For reasons stated in this thread 2-2-5-5 seems in best interests of children. I will propose 2-2-5-5 to my ex. I anticipate pushback due to logistics brought on by her move 30 mins. away from habitual school area.

Question: will court acknowledge EOW status quo of 23 months as stability and the norm (status quo), or consider the 2-2-5-5 and deem it in best interests of children - irrespective of 23 months and move of parent?
Is status quo 50/50, and EOW or 2-2-5-5 is simply format to arrive at 50/50?

Appreciate insight you'd care to share

[Tayken]

Situation:

EOW 7-7 for 23 months.

"Every other weekend" 7-7? What does this mean? Every other weekend generally means the parent has the child "every other weekend" and some times including an over-night Wednesday on the "other weekend" the child/ren are not with that parent. What is the 7-7 designation?

Worked well for kids d11 and s9 when mom and dad lived 3 minute walk apart, and we each saw children daily (most of first school year: mom homework after school, dad: kids breakfast, teeth cleaned, on bus: irrespective of who's parenting week)
Move: mom moved 30 mins. away. Changed everything: no daily contact between parents and children.

Daily contact in separation and divorce isn't often possible. But, great that it did happen. 30 Minutes is not a horrific and awful distance. Quite normal really.

Comment: For reasons stated in this thread 2-2-5-5 seems in best interests of children. I will propose 2-2-5-5 to my ex. I anticipate pushback due to logistics brought on by her move 30 mins. away from habitual school area.

Distance of 30 minutes is not relevant to the court. The lowest number I have ever seen on commute time used is 45 minutes and that was for a child who was <4 years of age. You are dealing with much older children and a 30 minute car ride to school shouldn't be an issue.

School is still in your area and hopefully you haven't agreed to allow the school to be changed closer to the other parent. The children's school should not change as that has been their school and their friends go to school there.

Question: will court acknowledge EOW status quo of 23 months as stability and the norm (status quo), or consider the 2-2-5-5 and deem it in best interests of children - irrespective of 23 months and move of parent?

You claim to see the children every day prior to the move then state EOW (Every Other Weekend). If you are an EOW parent and have been and agreed to EOW and it has been 23 months (2 years) that this schedule has been in place then you will have a hard time upsetting the "status quo" that you established by being (agreeing to / being ordered by the court) an "EOW" parent.

Is status quo 50/50, and EOW or 2-2-5-5 is simply format to arrive at 50/50?

Appreciate insight you'd care to share

Well, as you are a 23 month EOW parent, your first step is not really the schedule but, demonstrating a "material change in circumstance" by which a court would consider a change of access from "every other weekend" to "joint residency" ("equal access").

If you can't first establish that there has been a material change, debating a schedule will be fruitless.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[kidsRworthit]

Every Other Week - 7 days mother, 7 days father

Just to clarify, the 23 month status quo has been 50/50 shared parenting: and following a rotating 7 days with mother, followed by a 7 days with father.

The first school year was ideal for our children (d11 and s9), since the parents agreed to split the work day into an early and late day. Mom would drop off kids at dads early and attend work; irrespective of parenting week. Dad would do the morning child responsibilities (breakfast, clean teeth, put kids on bus). Mom would receive kids in afternoon and assist with homework (French school). Weekend parenting was the responsibility of the respective Parent on Duty. Considering our houses were a 3 minute walk apart, this arrangement worked quite well for the first year - the routine was certainly in our children's best interests = frequent and meaningful contact with each parent.

All changed when mom moved. Homework assistance vanished in spring of first school year which coincided with boyfriend entering the picture. Thus, the daily parent/child interaction ceased, and it was a longer period between seeing children = 7 days.

Move learned through children, not announced by mom. I questioned her, she confirmed move and assured me she would be responsible for all driving to school, sports, friends, etc. 1 month after move, her assurances were not met, and she sought changing sports (forum) for our son based out of community she moved to. She did drive our children to their school.

d11 changes schools. Mom using school (forum) to encourage our d11 to attend school 7-12 in her catchment area. I have registration containing school bus transportation request from mom (2 hrs. on bus/day). No school bus service offered from/to dad's house as this proposed school is in mom's catchment area, not dad's.

My interest in 2-2-5-5 as a 50/50 shared parenting arrangement would address frequent contact, and has the focus of keeping things centred in the kid's existing settled community. Although a move away of 30 mins. is not crucial, it has proven to pose many logistical issues previously not experienced (3 minute walk apart) and has proven not to be in the children's best interests this past school year.

So, approached from the perspective of the children's best interest, we have followed a 50/50 shared parenting arrangement. Do I understand correctly that changing the arrangement from weekabout to 2-2-5-5 after 23 months may be difficult, if I did not advance material change in circumstances prompting change? btw: I was given assurances all driving would be taken care of, however this did not happen as promised. Thus, my request is being made after an unsuccessful first school year/sporting season of trial.

Thanks,

[SadAndTired]

"EOW" 7-7? What does this mean?

I believe the OP thought "EOW" meant "Every Other WEEK".

He had the kids one week. Mom had them the next.

[SadAndTired]

Just to clarify, the 23 month status quo has been 50/50 shared parenting: and following a rotating 7 days with mother, followed by a 7 days with father.

How long ago did the move occur? You allowed her to move?

You allowed your daughter(11) to change schools to Mom's area?

Have you maintained 50/50 throughout?

Have you asked Mom if she would want 2-2-5-5?

If it addressed some of the children's issues and did not disrupt the children's access to each parent, I can't see a judge having much problem with changing access to 2-2-5-5 but you have to have valid reasons why this is necessary. How will it benefit the children and how will it take away some of the current challenges associated with Mom's move??

The stumbling block may be that you agreed to the move and the change of school by doing nothing at the time. This may be something you want to consider acting on quickly as the more time passes, the more status quo is established.

Also, since Mom moved, if you do file motions, ask that she be required to provide transportation to and from access exchange.

[Tayken]

Just to clarify, the 23 month status quo has been 50/50 shared parenting: and following a rotating 7 days with mother, followed by a 7 days with father.

Thank-you for clarifying. You stated EOW 7-7 which I have to admit is terminology not seen ever to describe equal joint custody with equal access (50-50) also known as the "week about" schedule.

If the week-about schedule is working why change it to a 2-2-5-5. Sure, there are benefits to the 2-2-5-5 schedule. But, if you have week-about access and the children are the ages you stated and are doing well... Why change?

The first school year was ideal for our children (d11 and s9), since the parents agreed to split the work day into an early and late day. Mom would drop off kids at dads early and attend work; irrespective of parenting week. Dad would do the morning child responsibilities (breakfast, clean teeth, put kids on bus). Mom would receive kids in afternoon and assist with homework (French school). Weekend parenting was the responsibility of the respective Parent on Duty. Considering our houses were a 3 minute walk apart, this arrangement worked quite well for the first year - the routine was certainly in our children's best interests = frequent and meaningful contact with each parent.

But, things change. The week-about schedule should remain the same. Just means that each parent have to do things in parallel to each other now due to the distance. Daycare or other child care providers may have to become involved. But, like life things often change.

All changed when mom moved. Homework assistance vanished in spring of first school year which coincided with boyfriend entering the picture. Thus, the daily parent/child interaction ceased, and it was a longer period between seeing children = 7 days.

Why does the "boyfriend" factor into anything? You have week-about parenting and you should follow that access schedule. Routines in life change and surely the other parent has a right to seek out new relationships.

Move learned through children, not announced by mom. I questioned her, she confirmed move and assured me she would be responsible for all driving to school, sports, friends, etc.

This is good. 30 minute drive away isn't a big issue.

1 month after move, her assurances were not met, and she sought changing sports (forum) for our son based out of community she moved to. She did drive our children to their school.

You don't have to agree to the change in the enrollment in sports. A justice would look at the enrollment in school and sports as the same. Hockey Canada and Soccer Canada often link their enrollments to the child's school and location of the school. I know Hockey Canada for example has specific rules regarding this.

d11 changes schools. Mom using school (forum) to encourage our d11 to attend school 7-12 in her catchment area. I have registration containing school bus transportation request from mom (2 hrs. on bus/day). No school bus service offered from/to dad's house as this proposed school is in mom's catchment area, not dad's.

Again, the child should be going with the flow of students she went to school with before. New area... new friends and new challenges. You can simply let the school know that as a joint custodial parent your written consent is required to change enrollment.

My interest in 2-2-5-5 as a 50/50 shared parenting arrangement would address frequent contact, and has the focus of keeping things centred in the kid's existing settled community.

2-2-5-5 has nothing to do about the community the children are in but the access they have with parents though...

Although a move away of 30 mins. is not crucial, it has proven to pose many logistical issues previously not experienced (3 minute walk apart) and has proven not to be in the children's best interests this past school year.

Not enough that a large fight and court battle would be worth really. You have to consider that.

So, approached from the perspective of the children's best interest, we have followed a 50/50 shared parenting arrangement. Do I understand correctly that changing the arrangement from weekabout to 2-2-5-5 after 23 months may be difficult, if I did not advance material change in circumstances prompting change?

Not really but, the children are well beyond the common age where this is recommended. Not that it isn't appropriate for children of the ages you have shared but, a week about schedule isn't torture and pretty common. 2-2-5-5 is better but, not necessary.

btw: I was given assurances all driving would be taken care of, however this did not happen as promised. Thus, my request is being made after an unsuccessful first school year/sporting season of trial.

Thanks,

Best to retain counsel. Not usually worth fighting over a 30 minute commute between parent's houses. But, best to check with a lawyer to see if you have any valid evidence to seek an order for the child to remain in the current catchment and sports programs within the catchment area.

Good Luck!
Tayken