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3 year old child still on bottle

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  • #16
    speech and ear

    Actually speech will likely be just who the child is and how they are born.. SEcondly ears, smoke is the biggest reason why infections occur, ear infections,chest problems, eye infections etc.. My son is sick after every visit with my exs girlfriend is there, she doesnt smoke in front of him but it is still on HER CLOTHES,SKIN,HAIR , Furniture, in vehicle. THe person who smokes is many times the trigger to this.. THis is my experience, and many others. Most importantly the health care providers confirm. One more thing for most children who visit the parent who isnt the primary caregiver,they do not act the same as they do with the primary. It just like how children act differently at school than at home..
    Originally posted by Stemmy View Post
    Hello All,

    I am currently the NCP and my Ex has temporary sole custody of our child (through lies and deceit told in court.) We are waiting for the OCL report but I am extremely concerned that she is still giving our child a bottle and she will be 3 years old in just over a week. It's my understanding that a child should be weaned from it starting at a year old but certainly by 2. I believe this is just pure laziness on my ex's part as I haven't given her a bottle in well over a year and she drinks perfectly fine without it. Is there anything that I can do for this as trying to rationalize and reason with the ex is just non-existent.

    I know some of the health problems that can occur are premature wearing and loss of baby teeth which would be very painful and expensive to have to replace at such a young age. It can also affect speech and ears (which our daughter does have issues with)

    Any suggestions? Do I just ignore it and hope that she starts weaning? I don't want to be running to court for every little thing but to me this can become a very serious issue if not tackled in the very near future.

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    • #17
      parent in bed all day

      Im curious how long since you have been around your ex, or in her home? Im curious because you state she is in bed all day and has others caring for your child you say. The onle way you would know that is if it has been a very very recent breakup.. Is this what you mean? Im confused how you know this.. When you again bring the child not eating well for you, maybe the child is a crappy eater.. My son, and he has some special needs, does get bottle milk after day of programing, and on route to drop off. THis is a comfort thg for him, but secondly he eats very little and sometimes not at all when at childcare. My son isnt able to express when he is hungry very well, so that bottle of milk (couple onces) on route, helps with stress and gives him something in his belly. So i have a feeling you look too far into things and are assuming the worst..


      Originally posted by Stemmy View Post
      Hello fireweb,

      Thank you for your response, yes it is correct that the bottle can cause premature dental problems as the lactose and fructose from the liquids can pool in the mouth. The main reason we are not together is because my ex was very controlling and demanding. When I didn't have an opinion things went well but if I had an opinion on something all hell broke loose and she was constantly kicking me out of HER house! For the most part my opinion of the bottle is two fold. Unfortunatley as Tayken stresses I don't have cogent evidence and as such it is only a "he said/she said" but I fully believe it is 1. laziness on my ex's part. She will stay in bed all day and have her parents (or daycare) watch our daughter, or 2. to sabotage my feeding attempts when our daughter is with me. I have witnessed her sucking on a bottle in her parents car at drop off many times just before my visits and as a result I have an extremely difficult time getting her to eat during my time with her.

      I'm looking forward to the OCL report and I'm certainly hopeful that the clinical investigator can get to the bottom of things as I really cannot afford and do not want to go through the difficult issues at trial. My case is very similar to WorkingDad's although she never called the police on me.
      Last edited by Mess; 10-27-2012, 08:03 AM. Reason: To fix quotation

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      • #18
        Originally posted by slughead10 View Post
        i breast feed at 47 ... is that a problem?
        This community wouldn't be as great as it is without Slughead10. Thanks for the laugh this morning!

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        • #19
          Sure slugheads reply may be humourous but for parents with special need children, people like Stemmy are very annoying and ignorant.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by thorns View Post
            Sure slugheads reply may be humourous but for parents with special need children, people like Stemmy are very annoying and ignorant.


            Our families are being destroyed by ourselves, our ex spouses, and the family law system. Really, there must be better things to worry about.

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            • #21
              My answer to the OP: get your family physician to write a brief letter to the effect that child suffers no mental, physical or psychological disabilities; bottle feeding should be immediately discontinue. Finished.

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              • #22
                I haven't been around much. Kids are older and most issues have gone away.

                I got an email from the site today and thought I'd poke around. This thread caught my eye.

                When my husband final got a court order to allow access to his kids overnight his youngest daughter was 3. She was very excited to sleep over... until bedtime. For 3 months she tried, and we ended up taking her home. After 3 months I finally asked her if she was still nursing. She said "yes, but don't tell my sister, it's a secret." After her 4th birthday she announced that her mother told her she wasn't nursing age any more, so she was STAYING! We were all so excited.

                So, ya. Her mother nursed her until age 4 to keep her from sleeping over at Dad's. It would have gone on longer I'm sure if she hadn't finally started dating someone. That guy turned out to be an ass, but he was a lifesaver at the time for us. We got to have the kids all the time for the 2 years he was around.

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                • #23
                  That's quite the leap to make, assuming that mom nursed the kid to keep her from sleeping at dad's. Did mom or the kid ever tell you that was the reason?

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                    That's quite the leap to make, assuming that mom nursed the kid to keep her from sleeping at dad's. Did mom or the kid ever tell you that was the reason?
                    Of course not, but at that time she did everything she could think of to keep the little one away from us. She was jealous of me. His older daughter was 11 and had the freedom to see him almost every night. She had been weaned at 2 years old.

                    On weekends, he was often told that 3 was sick or wanted to stay with Mom, but 11 was free to go with him all day. If 11 had a birthday party to attend or somewhere else to be, he wasn't allowed to take 3 because she said "they're sisters and they want to be together". I remember 3 crying to her Grandpa about going home once. She said her sister would tell Mom that she had played with me and Mom was going to pinch her or hit her.

                    I understood the jealousy. It hurts to see or hear about a new Mom figure being with your kids.

                    She is 18 now and is doing quite well. Both of them are. Things aren't perfect of course, but we all get along and have healthy relationships.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                      That's quite the leap to make, assuming that mom nursed the kid to keep her from sleeping at dad's. Did mom or the kid ever tell you that was the reason?
                      I would love to see a study that compared nursing rates between the general population and mothers who were involved in custody battles.

                      If breastfeeding is going to earn you thousands of dollars a year in tax-free cash, that is some pretty serious motivation.

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                      • #26
                        Janus, I hadn't thought of that. I certainly didn't at the time. She was already getting her "tax-free cash", still is. I can see how it could be manipulated to prevent 50/50 custody though.

                        As to the original post, yes, the bottle can cause tooth problems. I knew a little guy who wasn't quite 3 yet. His front teeth were missing. His Mom said they rotted from her putting him to bed with a bottle at night. Nobody told her there was anything wrong with that.
                        Last edited by paris; 11-01-2012, 11:59 AM.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Janus View Post
                          I would love to see a study that compared nursing rates between the general population and mothers who were involved in custody battles.

                          If breastfeeding is going to earn you thousands of dollars a year in tax-free cash, that is some pretty serious motivation.
                          My friend's lawyer actually suggested she say she was breastfeeding so she didn't have to let the child go overnight to the father's. Pretty sad. I guess they have never heard of "pumping". She didn't do it, but how many times had that one lawyer made the same suggestion to other client's?

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
                            My friend's lawyer actually suggested she say she was breastfeeding so she didn't have to let the child go overnight to the father's. Pretty sad. I guess they have never heard of "pumping". She didn't do it, but how many times had that one lawyer made the same suggestion to other client's?
                            And the Honourable Mr. Justice Quinn already addressed this in jurisprudence and most "lawyers" know this...

                            Fletcher v. Fletcher, 2003 CanLII 2121 (ON SC)
                            Date: 2003-04-25
                            Docket: 01-DV-33333
                            URL: CanLII - 2003 CanLII 2121 (ON SC)

                            The petitioner may have an honestly held and well-intentioned theory on breastfeeding. This breastfeeding however must come to an end at some point. The petitioner in an earlier affidavit indicated that she intended to breastfeed until at least the child was two years of age. Dr. Newman’s letter indicates that pediatrics recommend breastfeeding for at least a year with no upper limit. The petitioner will have breastfed for two years beyond the minimum recommended. This child is not an appendage of the petitioner. The child will very shortly have to leave the petitioner for day care, junior kindergarten and other outside relationships. It is important for the child’s good that she learn to adapt outside of the petitioner’s constant attention. The petitioner should therefore end breastfeeding over the next four months and the child should then experience overnight access with the respondent.
                            But, this is happens when people don't research what their friend's second cousin's lawyer's roommate tells them "facts".

                            Good Luck!
                            Tayken

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                              And the Honourable Mr. Justice Quinn already addressed this in jurisprudence and most "lawyers" know this...

                              Fletcher v. Fletcher, 2003 CanLII 2121 (ON SC)
                              Date: 2003-04-25
                              Docket: 01-DV-33333
                              URL: CanLII - 2003 CanLII 2121 (ON SC)



                              But, this is happens when people don't research what their friend's second cousin's lawyer's roommate tells them "facts".

                              Good Luck!
                              Tayken
                              Right, I must have forgot we were in a perfect world. The child I was referring to was under a year.

                              Take care!

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
                                Right, I must have forgot we were in a perfect world. The child I was referring to was under a year.

                                Take care!
                                No we don't but someone who doesn't research in the Information Age is not someone who should be throwing stones in glass houses at the system, the other parent, judges and lawyers.

                                As stated by many other posters to this site as a litigant it is your responsiblity to understand the law, jurisprudence, parenting and "best interests" of the children just as much as anyone in the court rooms.

                                Often, what happens is people think their lawyer has all the answers or that the system should protect them and don't realize that their own conduct, lack of knowledge, research and investment of time into solving problems (rather than creating them) is the root of the problem in Family Law.

                                PS: You can search "breastfeeding" in CanLII and find enough jurisprudence for a book of authorities in a litigated matter before the court concerning a child under 1 year of age and the appropriate custodial and access arrangements.

                                CanLII - It isn't just for lawyers and judges. It is a public record system for a reason.

                                Say like this case:

                                Cavannah v. Johne, 2008 CanLII 65587 (ON SC)
                                Date: 2008-12-08
                                Docket: FC 06-1950-00
                                Parallel citations: 64 RFL (6th) 203
                                URL: http://canlii.ca/t/21vwz
                                Citation: Cavannah v. Johne, 2008 CanLII 65587 (ON SC)

                                Or something like this case:

                                Moudry v. Moudry, 2005 CanLII 22220 (ON SC)
                                Date: 2005-06-23
                                Docket: D47948/03
                                URL: http://canlii.ca/t/1l26k
                                Citation: Moudry v. Moudry, 2005 CanLII 22220 (ON SC)

                                THIS COURT ORDERS THAT the Applicant, father Michal Moudry, shall have sole custody of Megan Moudry, born May 2, 2002.
                                No one has ever gotten "sole custody" on a FINAL order to the best of my knowledge on breastfeeding evidence. At best a temporary temporary order would be made with a detailed access schedule and requirements for movement to a 50-50 access schedule. As demonstrated in case law, for a parent to rely upon breastfeeding as the sole reason to try and establish a "status quo" of primary care and residency is a failing argument to make and one that no "good" lawyer would make as this is all common jurisprudence in the matter.

                                The only time it would happen and become FINAL is if the parent in question on consent agreed to a final order (agreement) where they relegate themselves to an EoW parent because they were not informed and didn't invest the time to become informed in the matter.

                                (Same thing happens to parents who leave the habitual residential jurisdiction, engage the OCL and don't truly understand what defines "best interests" of a child.)

                                Good Luck!
                                Tayken
                                Last edited by Tayken; 11-01-2012, 02:11 PM.

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