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  • emotionally abusive emails??

    Hi so I/we have 3 children who live with me, my stbx left us 6 months ago., anyways he does not have visits with them or regualar contact. This is his choice as he moved 2 provinces away. I recently was checking my chlidrens email acct as most of us moms do even tho our kids hate it haha anyways I see their dad has emailed them however everything in each email (6) of them mentions how I (the mother) don't let him see the children and how abusive and hurtful this is to him and them. I am concerned as this is not healthy for my children to read and feel and also its flat out lies. I can;t believe he uses the children., any suggestions as to how I can stop this? He doesn;t call and if i call him he doesnt answer or he just hangs up. This seems to be the only time the kids hear from him and he puts this garbage in the emails saying he will enforce courts to get him access etc., We never went anywhere he never came back to see them! He moved on with his life. Do I keep these emails for my lawyer? I find what he is doing is abusive but maybe I am over reacting I don't know? any suggestions?? Also I had to take my 8 year old to the hospital for she got treated for lyme disease and when I went to get her meds my union benefit card was denied! He cut me off from our childrens benefits. i want to cry.,who does that?? I was a stay at home mom for 12 years and he rakes in 171,000 a year doesn;t pay support and I sit and wait for my lawyer. This is brutal and my heart goes out to all the families going through this hell.

  • #2
    How old are the children? Depending on their age, you may wish to block his e-mails.

    Do I keep these emails for my lawyer?
    Always helpful.

    when I went to get her meds my union benefit card was denied! He cut me off from our childrens benefits.
    Court is likely to reinstate.

    he rakes in 171,000 a year doesn;t pay support and I sit and wait for my lawyer.
    Advise your lawyer as to his income and that he is not paying support. Ask why they are not filing an application and bringing an urgent motion for interim guideline child support.

    Comment


    • #3
      closed account

      Hi thank you orleans lawyer

      i just checked and he closed our joint bank account meaning everything RESP;s that the kids have etc are going to bounce. He has never put one dime in my sole account. and now the joint account is closed he has cut me off any money he pays the mortgage etc., he cut us off his benefits etc., I am going crazy

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      • #4
        Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
        Hi thank you orleans lawyer

        i just checked and he closed our joint bank account meaning everything RESP;s that the kids have etc are going to bounce. He has never put one dime in my sole account. and now the joint account is closed he has cut me off any money he pays the mortgage etc., he cut us off his benefits etc., I am going crazy
        Do you know for fact that these things are going to bounce? One of the first things that people are advise to do when they separate is to separate finances... if he closed the account, he very well could have set up to have the payments be taken out of another account...

        Personally I would not want to have a joint account with someone who I was no longer attached to... what is stopping you from clearing out that account and then the bills not getting paid? Not saying you would do that, but you have to understand, because you are not longer together, joint accounts should not exist... if your name is on the mortgage, you will be able to phone and find out what account the mortgage payments are coming out of, by that you will be able to see if he redirected the payments or not.

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        • #5
          Can a bank close a joint account without permission of both account holders??? As far as I know, I thought they could only freeze the account?

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          • #6
            Get your lawyer to get his arse to court and get an immediate interim order for child support. Next wake up and smell the coffee. You want to move closer to this creep?

            Shut down the internet/email accounts. In the future make sure they go through your email (sub-email addresses) so you can monitor.

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            • #7
              I thought you were in the process of moving to Alberta?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                Can a bank close a joint account without permission of both account holders??? As far as I know, I thought they could only freeze the account?
                Yes, one person can close a joint account. The bank requires 2 signatures to open a joint account, but only 1 to close it.

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                • #9
                  thanks

                  Hi thanks everyone for your support. I am here to get answers. Slowly I have realized how abusive and controlling this man is. I had been with him for 16 years since i was 22. I leaned on him alot as he was my husband. I now realize his wife and children did not come first. He and his selfishness comes first. I am more concerned about the effects he has on his kids with the garbage he writes to them and what kicks he gets out of the hurtful lies and accusations he makes. Oh how we could only wish for this shit to be over and done with sooner rather than later.I just hope that the courts are fair and my kids get what they are entitled too for support and I can get something as well. Most of all I hope he gets his head out of his ass and starts acting like a man and a father to his kids.
                  as with regards to the bank account no he did not change anything everything i am cancelling or freezing (rEsps) etc., until further notice. He took out $900 in overdraft then closed it.

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                  • #10
                    Ex. closed all joint bank accounts just before he asked for a divorce. Had my name removed from all household bills, and payments re-directed to the new bank accounts. I had one small bank account in my name and that is what I lived on for several months.

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                    • #11
                      standard

                      hi, i hear you i am living on my savings from years ago when I working., (thank god) it seems as if all exs are cut from the same mold when they want a divorce. I noticed that he switched banking info etc., early on and started to realize something wasnt right., but to leave me with no money each month for our children groceries etc, is upsetting to cut off his kids to benefits is sickening. I just hope that the judge sees through all this bs and kicks his ass around to smarten him up. unfortunately i don;t think it miracles can happen.

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                      • #12
                        I would advise you strongly not to move to Alberta.He is already lying and playing games.You are better off doing this in Ontario from start to finish.He has set up home with a new family and has moved on ,let the court see that.Of course let him contact the kids etc ,he has every right but let him show his true intentions.You chasing after him is going to blur everything and do the kids no favours.

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                        • #13
                          "Can a bank close a joint account without permission of both account holders??? As far as I know, I thought they could only freeze the account"
                          Banks most certainly can, and do close accounts without the permission of both account holders. Before my ex presented me with his first proposed separation agreement (Merry Christmas present), he closed our joint account. I had no idea and some cheques bounced.
                          Our eldest child's trust bank account was supposedly frozen, but he was able to persuade the bank to let him take money out of out (by lying to the bank).
                          Once the money is gone from any joint account (including ones held "in trust"), it's gone.

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                          • #14
                            good lord

                            good lord why does anyone think i would chase this man? I know I am worth more than that.

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                            • #15
                              Were just pointing out what he is going to say on his affidavitsCrazy lady chases me down even though our marriage is over,wont let me see kids denies me access etc etc etc.I wish I was joking but there is every chance this is the direction he will go.Oh yeah ,I could nearly put money on it that he says "she said she will only let me see the kids if we get back together".After all he is laying some framework already should OCL get involved.If the kids are asked about their dad, are they going to mention all those emails where apparently you deny him access?

                              Comment

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