My daughter and I (almost 6) have a lot of our discussions in the car on the way to/from daycare. In the past month or so she has started to divulge info to me that is not really related to whatever we are talking about. It is always about something that her father has told her.
Every single time she starts out with "mommy, can I tell you something?" And then proceeds to tell me
-daddy told her that one of her relatives (my side) said bad things about daddy on facebook
-mommy called the police on daddy and mommy's boyfriend "got involved"
-daddy said you should pay him for daycare, the judge said so.
this morning she said "i just want to know the truth mom"
Obviously her dad is talking to her a LOT about issues that a child should not be discussing. While all of things have some truth to them, they are his opinion, and he is subjecting her to them. I deliberately did not let my daughter know about the call to the police, our court date last week, and all the issues that are between her dad and I. He has been telling her things about our marriage, and basically relying on her for his emotional support, or worse, deliberately telling her the "bad things" mom does.
This is WRONG! We are on a waiting list for her to get counseling or therapy, but it is going to be 5 months. These are not isolated incidents, and she has been opening up more and more about what her dad tells her. I just dont feel that I can properly respond to her, it will only be reinforcing his behaviour and confuse her more.
We have a mediation date in a few weeks, but I don't want to ruin the chances that we will be able to settle some of this. Does anyone have any suggestions how I can start dealing with this in the meantime? Bringing it up to him will just cause a defense reaction.
Every single time she starts out with "mommy, can I tell you something?" And then proceeds to tell me
-daddy told her that one of her relatives (my side) said bad things about daddy on facebook
-mommy called the police on daddy and mommy's boyfriend "got involved"
-daddy said you should pay him for daycare, the judge said so.
this morning she said "i just want to know the truth mom"
Obviously her dad is talking to her a LOT about issues that a child should not be discussing. While all of things have some truth to them, they are his opinion, and he is subjecting her to them. I deliberately did not let my daughter know about the call to the police, our court date last week, and all the issues that are between her dad and I. He has been telling her things about our marriage, and basically relying on her for his emotional support, or worse, deliberately telling her the "bad things" mom does.
This is WRONG! We are on a waiting list for her to get counseling or therapy, but it is going to be 5 months. These are not isolated incidents, and she has been opening up more and more about what her dad tells her. I just dont feel that I can properly respond to her, it will only be reinforcing his behaviour and confuse her more.
We have a mediation date in a few weeks, but I don't want to ruin the chances that we will be able to settle some of this. Does anyone have any suggestions how I can start dealing with this in the meantime? Bringing it up to him will just cause a defense reaction.
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