Access Situation

[cynthia10]

Hi this is a question for my neighbor, she has a daughter 8 yrs old and has sole custody, dad has visitation. thyy have had many problems for the past 5 years, he is a bully threatens all sorts if things, has a criminal record s long as you arm, assault, theft kind of stuff.
They have had OCL before when he tried to take custody away from mom, findings were daughter stays with mom, access EOW, and the thursday of the non weekend week.
This past Thursday, he took the daughter and emailed mom stating he is keeping her for the whole weekend, (not his weekend) and to top that off decided on his own that he will not drop off at the usual spot but named a different place for pick up on Sunday.
He stated in an email to her that he is now the judge and jury!!!!!!
He is an immigrant to this country form India, has the daughters passport and my friend is fearful that he will take her to India.
She called the police Thursday when all this took place and sadly the could not help her.
I suggested she file an emergency motion to have the access changed to supervised access, and in her affidavit site all of the above plus another occasion when he did this 4 years ago.
Does anyone know anything else she can do...any thoughts or suggestions would be great....... .

[standing on the sidelines]

first why doesnt she have the passport?? She should get that ASAP. When this happened 4 years ago what did she do then? Hopefully something or she probably will be asked why she didnt back then but felt the need to do it this time.

Looks like this is going to escalate pretty quick so she needs to see a lawyer to see what legal options she has.

[CCB]

I would tell her to contact a lawyer first thing Monday morning!

I just do not understand people, why make the situation worse for himself?

[cynthia10]

She like me doesn't have the money for a lawyer and I am not sure about legal aid for her, she has done some work on her own, filed papers etc. and your right she should have the passport, I think it was a physically abusive relationship and she is afraid of him. He has gone through a dozen or so lawyers himself, and fires them when they won't do what he wants them to do, he was once told that he was not aloud to file anymore motions without the consent of the court because he constantly drags her to court for what ever the whim of the week is, and it is usually trying to get custody again and again....I wish I could help her, i cried myself when she told me what he did....

[Tayken]

This past Thursday, he took the daughter and emailed mom stating he is keeping her for the whole weekend, (not his weekend) and to top that off decided on his own that he will not drop off at the usual spot but named a different place for pick up on Sunday.

Section 282.(1) of the Criminal Code of Canada covers this violation. Unless there is a police enforcement clause in the final order there isn't much that can be done at this point in time other than bringing the matter before the court.

He stated in an email to her that he is now the judge and jury!!!!!!

Did your friend provide the police the objective facts (emails) to the conduct of the other parent. Generally the police don't like to get involved in domestic situations though.

He is an immigrant to this country form India, has the daughters passport and my friend is fearful that he will take her to India.

The above mentioned relevant evidence (email) is a key element of your friend's possible concerns. Although, the father may be just demonstrating his "jackassedness" (Justice Brownstone) and trying to rope your friend into a high-conflict situation.

Depending on the order in place the other parent is in violation of the order.

She called the police Thursday when all this took place and sadly the could not help her.

Unless there is a police enforcement clause the police are not much help.

I suggested she file an emergency motion to have the access changed to supervised access, and in her affidavit site all of the above plus another occasion when he did this 4 years ago.

They won't put supervised access in place unless your friend can provide enough cogent and relevant evidence before the court that he is a flight risk. The onus on an "emergency" motion is on the patitioner to provide tangible evidence to the concern. The way you described the email doesn't point directly at a threat to remove the child from the country but, does demonstrate his "jackassedness".

Does anyone know anything else she can do...any thoughts or suggestions would be great....... .

You can do the following:

1. Be calm and not push the other parent. Fathers generally tend to remove children *after* a custody and access order is made. (truism)

2. Communicate with the other parent through a secure method. (Email if it is all they have.)

3. Have an independent person verify the location of the child with the other parent. A mutual friend who is sensative to the matter and won't escalate things. You can also ask the police to verify the location of the child. Again, do this with white gloves on.

4. You can contact a friendly relative and ask them to verify the child's location.

5. You can notify the Boarder and Security Agency (CBSA) but, they generally want the police to act first. If there is a specific clause about travel restrictions you can alert them to this and provide the court order. Again, you have to be very rational and reasonable when talking to CBSA about the situation.

6. REMAIN CALM. You don't want anyone to do anything that would cause the situation to escalate and for the other parent to actually run.

7. You can talk to someone at Child Find as well. They have resources to assist in these kinds of matters and can provide much better advice on what your friend should be doing.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Access Dad]

Sounds like Dad was lucky to even get the access that he has now. Tell her to contact a lawyer right away. Maybe contact the CAS and see if there's anything they can do.

[Tayken]

Sounds like Dad was lucky to even get the access that he has now. Tell her to contact a lawyer right away. Maybe contact the CAS and see if there's anything they can do.

You can ask CAS to verify the location of the child. Ask them to physically send someone to verify the child's location if possible. They generally don't get involved but, if you talk to them rationally they may be inclined based on past conduct and involvement to verify the child's location.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[cynthia10]

oh my God thanks you guys....I will show her this and your advice...we can only give her that and help her through this....I love this Forum.....xoxo I will keep you posted....

[cynthia10]

and a P.S......because of her fears of this she has taught her daughter....ya 8 years old....that if she finds herself at an airport and Mommy hasn't discussed this with you, just tell a lady at the counter that your Mommy doesn't know that your Daddy is taking you somewhere...can you imagine....so sad that a little girl has to go through this and again Mom is scared of Dad, is a FF in a small town and has alot of friends on both forces...so has done everything to apise him....I wish all the Dads out there where like you guys.....

[Tayken]

and a P.S......because of her fears of this she has taught her daughter....ya 8 years old....that if she finds herself at an airport and Mommy hasn't discussed this with you, just tell a lady at the counter that your Mommy doesn't know that your Daddy is taking you somewhere...can you imagine....so sad that a little girl has to go through this and again Mom is scared of Dad, is a FF in a small town and has alot of friends on both forces...so has done everything to apise him....I wish all the Dads out there where like you guys.....

At age 8 a child should know their home address and telephone number as well. They should be aware of their surroundings and that they are in a situation that they shouldn't be in.

The risk of the removal of a child at the age 8 does go down statistically but, it can happen at any age really. Also, I can only assume that the child in question speaks English and/or French but, probably speaks another language as well. If the child can't speak another language other than English and/or French it lowers the risk factors that they would be taken to India.

But, international abductions do happen and more often than one would expect. Just make sure your friend is not acting on "worries" and/or "fears" and/or "anxieties" alone. There has to be some tangible cogent and relevant evidence that the concern should be attached to. This can be a statement made (threat), etc... Just make sure that your friend is not "creating" a situation "in her head" that driven by pure emotion.

The best way you can help as a friend is to help the person in question sort through the "emotional reasoning" and "objective facts" to determine if there is a serious potential the person is going to run with the child.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Tayken]

At age 8 a child should know their home address and telephone number as well. They should be aware of their surroundings and that they are in a situation that they shouldn't be in.

The risk of the removal of a child at the age 8 does go down statistically but, it can happen at any age really. Also, I can only assume that the child in question speaks English and/or French but, probably speaks another language as well. If the child can't speak another language other than English and/or French it lowers the risk factors that they would be taken to India.

But, international abductions do happen and more often than one would expect. Just make sure your friend is not acting on "worries" and/or "fears" and/or "anxieties" alone. There has to be some tangible cogent and relevant evidence that the concern should be attached to. This can be a statement made (threat), etc... Just make sure that your friend is not "creating" a situation "in her head" that driven by pure emotion.

The best way you can help as a friend is to help the person in question sort through the "emotional reasoning" and "objective facts" to determine if there is a serious potential the person is going to run with the child.

Good Luck!
Tayken

In addition here is some case law on child abduction that lays out in detail how the courts make a determination on what constitutes "abduction" under 283 and 282 under the Criminal Code of Canada.

CanLII - 2010 ONCJ 545 (CanLII)

http://canlii.ca/en/on/onsc/doc/2011...1onsc5697.html

[Truthcomesout]

Two sides to every story.

[arabian]

Truthcomesout - what is your point or relevance to this thread?

[firhill]

Truthcomesout - what is your point or relevance to this thread?

If this guy is Cynthia's ex, that would explain her frustration, being married to this clown.

[Truthcomesout]

Check out the post Tayken did just before her departure....figure it out. There are two sides to every story and it is ok to vent to family and friends but on a public forum NO especially when most statements are questionable.