access question - involuntarily missing access by NCP

[sahibjee]

Hello helpful folks

i have a condition which dictates that the (unsupervised) access shall only take place through agreed upon third parties facilitating the access on every wednesday and saturday (schedule: consent order). I just got informed by both agreed upon third parties (my friends) that they are both away form town on wednesday (tomorrow) due to personal emergencies, this means no access for me even though i would do anything to see my son.

this situation is involuntary as i am available to see my son, but an agreed upon third party is not, I have sent her a letter through lawyer advising her of the situation but i am wondering if there are any legal implications of the missed access? i know its just one day, and i am not panicking ... just raising the question so that i know how to deal with the situation in future.

for now i have requested that access be facilitated through a third party from her side, could be a friend of hers or whomever (putting my self at serious risk here, her third party can accuse me of indirect communication and or worst case scenario she shows up herself (500 meters rule) and... there i go for another bail hearing!). given the circumstances; by doing this i dont think i have taken the best course of action, since if i get arrested, many more accesses will be missed or worst i may not be able to see my son at all for a while. .. and both him and me will miss each other ..

. but what is normally done in circumstances like this?

[Rioe]

Do you live near an access centre? This is a place where supervised access takes place, but I believe they also assist with changeovers. She'd drop the kid off there and leave, and you'd come and collect the kid ten minutes later or something. Maybe you can suggest something like that for occasional situations like this.

Although you may not want to plant the idea of supervised access in her head.

[dinkyface]

Is there a 'parents & kids' drop in center near you that could take the kids for 5 minutes, and so enable you to keep distance form your ex. I'd think you'd want to first develop some relationships with the drop in centre staff first though, so they would be comfortable with the situation.

Or, ask your ex if she would agree to meet at your nearest police station. I know that breaks the 500 m rule, but REALLY, with that kind of witness can anyone worry?

[NBDad]

Is there any kind of 3rd party transportation company in your area? Call CAS and see if there is any local company THEY use that you could call.

For a nominal fee, these companies will pick the child up, and then drive them to your location. (and back as well).

Best $20 a month I ever spent. Not having to see/deal with the ex, at all...(well until her insanity drove BOTH local companies to quit, but that took 7 months)

[HammerDad]

Pay a cab to pick up your kid? While it is not an "agreed" third party, it is kinda hard to find someone more impartial than a cabbie....

Otherwise ask for your parenting time to be moved to the next available day as the conditions why your parenting time may not be exercised are out of your control.

[wretchedotis]

I've been facing the same problem for going on a year now.

Essentially, you're boned. You must follow your conditions. That trumps your access.

Some things to consider;

Picking up the child from school, daycare, whatever may not require that you have a third party present. If the other side isn't there - then (provided you read your conditions carefully - and how it is worded) you may not need to have a third party present.

This is what I now do - pick the child up and drop him off to school. No contact between me and my ex - and no third party therefore required.

Maybe she can drop the kid off at her parents and leave? And then you can pick them up an hour later? Something along those lines.

[sahibjee]

Thank you every one, given the amazing advices i am going to do the following

1- look for a transportation company NBDad: $20 bucks a month? even with $50 i would not bother my friends any longer, just pay to have my son arrive to me every time *if she agrees to it of course*

2- look for a parents & kids drop in center, i think there should be plenty in toronto area?

3- look for an access center (already called one actually - left vm)

the idea of police station was suggested by my lawyer too, but after every thing that has happened, *multiple attempts to get me arrested, couple of them successful, false charges and so on* i'd rather not see her until i reload my self with enough forgiveness and patience.

the cab idea would have been great if my son was a little older, unfortunately he is only 3 so he needs adult supervision and a car seat while in car.

she has not put him in preschool or day care, she is bumming him out at home just like herself as far as my information is, she dosnt have any friends/relatives or other social relations whatsoever, any that were there before the breakup stopped talking to her after SHE told them what she did to me.

yah i know, you are going to ask how i ended up with this person? - in some parts of the world arranged marriages are still practiced!
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