Hi,
I am at my wits end and need some advice. Sorry if this is long winded but I desperately need advice to tackle this situation in the appropriate manner for the children.
We are recently seperated. A clause was put into the seperation agreement specifically stating that my ex was not to speak ill of me at all due to past situations. Yesterday, he was at the house moving the last of his stuff (it is legally my house now, I bought him out). Our 2 youngest came over with him so I could look after them for the afternoon during the process. When he was ready to leave for the day with the kids (his regular weekend), my son complained, not wanting to go with Dad. I told him that it was Dad's time with him and I would see him again on Monday. Knowing that I had plans for the evening (but not knowing what those plans were) Dad told our S7 that "he couldn't stay with Mom because Mom had a date and she didn't want him around, he would be a third wheel" (I did not have a date...). I immediately responded to my ex that the comment was completely unacceptable, and to please stop saying things like that. He then went into a complete rant in front of our D7 and S7 as well as a couple of adult witnesses, stating that I was a liar, I had an apparent affair on him, I was a bad wife, bad mother etc., etc. etc.
My only response was to ask him to please stop speaking like that in front of the children, it was not fair to the children. He just started laughing and laying in more. As my son got into his car, he yelled to me "don't worry mommy, I don't believe anything Dad says, you are a good Mom".
This is not the first time in the last 2 months this has happened in front of the children. A month ago, I had to threaten to call the cops if he continued because he was being verbally abusive towards me in front of the children. My response then was to not allow him to be in my presence by himself - only with other adults around. The presence of witnesses is obviously not stopping his behavior.
I have contacted the kid's social worker to report the situation. I know he will flip when he finds out but I am worried about the impact on them. Do I have any other avenues to make this stop? It is in black and white in the seperation agreement - how can I have that clause enforced? It is abusive towards me and damaging to the kids however I do have a minimum of 11 more years of contact with him because of the kids....
I am at my wits end and need some advice. Sorry if this is long winded but I desperately need advice to tackle this situation in the appropriate manner for the children.
We are recently seperated. A clause was put into the seperation agreement specifically stating that my ex was not to speak ill of me at all due to past situations. Yesterday, he was at the house moving the last of his stuff (it is legally my house now, I bought him out). Our 2 youngest came over with him so I could look after them for the afternoon during the process. When he was ready to leave for the day with the kids (his regular weekend), my son complained, not wanting to go with Dad. I told him that it was Dad's time with him and I would see him again on Monday. Knowing that I had plans for the evening (but not knowing what those plans were) Dad told our S7 that "he couldn't stay with Mom because Mom had a date and she didn't want him around, he would be a third wheel" (I did not have a date...). I immediately responded to my ex that the comment was completely unacceptable, and to please stop saying things like that. He then went into a complete rant in front of our D7 and S7 as well as a couple of adult witnesses, stating that I was a liar, I had an apparent affair on him, I was a bad wife, bad mother etc., etc. etc.
My only response was to ask him to please stop speaking like that in front of the children, it was not fair to the children. He just started laughing and laying in more. As my son got into his car, he yelled to me "don't worry mommy, I don't believe anything Dad says, you are a good Mom".
This is not the first time in the last 2 months this has happened in front of the children. A month ago, I had to threaten to call the cops if he continued because he was being verbally abusive towards me in front of the children. My response then was to not allow him to be in my presence by himself - only with other adults around. The presence of witnesses is obviously not stopping his behavior.
I have contacted the kid's social worker to report the situation. I know he will flip when he finds out but I am worried about the impact on them. Do I have any other avenues to make this stop? It is in black and white in the seperation agreement - how can I have that clause enforced? It is abusive towards me and damaging to the kids however I do have a minimum of 11 more years of contact with him because of the kids....
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