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  • Add one more to the seperated pool

    Well we decided to seperate but we still live under the same roof until I find another place to live. I'ts not the first time we seperate but it is the first time I stay until I find some other place. I am not packing and unpacking just to be packing up again !!! This time I'm actually looking for an apartememt and I'll only be packing and unpacking once ! This will be my first Divorce and I pray to God it will be my last. Marriage can be nasty It has been a very hard 10 yrs! Anyways, I guess now it's down to the... 50/50 part who gets what? OMG! that's gonna' be interesting! here comes more fighting over ridiculous stuff ( material ) and let's not forget to take our wallet's for the lawyers cuz they will be needing lots of cash. Knowing, my soon to be ex-husband he will NOT go quietly. He will fight to the bone for sure. Oh! Boy, what am I in for? Help!!!

  • #2
    Happy Canada Day

    Read the posts here until you think you've read them all at least 10 times, and then read them again.

    Everybody loves to think that "the system" is corrupt and only exists to serve the other party (no matter which side you are on). The system actually helps those who help themselves, so educate yourself (reading here is a good start) and KNOW what your rights and obligations are - then exercise them.

    Remember this: Everybody talks about going to court but only about 3% of people actually ever make it there... Court is for people who can't sort out their own shit without help. The fact of the matter is that everything that is going to happen (+/- 5%) is predetermined... Some people think it's worthwhile to fight for a piece of that last 5%, while others think (know) that it's futile and silly to do so.

    Knowledge is power: Learn all you can, decide what is going to happen (and remember: it's predetermined), and be reasonable. You'll come through this OK.

    Oh, and if you think marriage can be hard, wait 'til you try divorce

    Cheers!

    Gary

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    • #3
      Start here and especially read the part "What you should know about family law."

      Go to the bookstore or library and read "Surviving your Divorce" by Cochrane, he is a senior divorce lawyer in Toronto, the book is excellent in general and perfect for Ontario divorce cases. Keep this book away from your ex, the advice is too good.

      Call the Law Society of Upper Canada for a referal to a lawyer. Their referral service will get you a free consultation. Do your reading first so you have background and know what questions to ask.

      Start making lists of your belongings and gather any statements and household bills you can find. Discreetly. If you can document your ex's income, like old income tax returns, and make discreet copies this will be useful. It helps if you can bring a "snapshot" of your total finances for a given month to show the lawyer.

      Keep coming here with specific questions.

      If you stay firm but reasonable with your ex it is possible to minimize legal bills. Everyone goes ballistic when the relationship ends, but give it some time and hopefully he will realize that co-operation is easier on the pocketbook.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Mess View Post
        Go to the bookstore or library and read "Surviving your Divorce" by Cochrane, he is a senior divorce lawyer in Toronto, the book is excellent in general and perfect for Ontario divorce cases. Keep this book away from your ex, the advice is too good.
        I'll second that. It's an excellent resource (one of three books I bought) and is worth its weight in gold.

        Cheers!

        Gary

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        • #5
          Great advice!!

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          • #6
            Book

            WOuld the material in that book apply to other provinces?

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            • #7
              A lot of the material applies across Canada, and lot of the advice would be excellent for any country in terms of general advice on how to negotiate and not go crazy.

              He includes some material and reference from each province but he practices in Ontario.

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