Common law house division problems

[whatnext]

Hi,
I'm whatnext,
I bought a house and paid 90,000 downpayment on a house for 310,000. Now it's worth 500,000. There is 150,000 owing on the house.
Boyfriend said at move in it was my sole property. Nothing in writing. I set up a basement apartment for income and paid for renos and 5 new appliances. He paid 700/month and I paid the lion's share. But a year and a half later my maternity leave ran out and I had to ask him to support the family. Because it was regarded as my house I didn't ask him to contribute his whole paycheque, but about half. So two kids and I became a stay at home mom. Now we are splitting and his lawyer wanted him to get half the house including half my downpayment. I've been to 4 different lawyers and they all have different opinions on how to settle with him. One lawyer said give him nothing, one lawyer said 57,ooo (which included waiving my 20,000 spousal): that lawyer quit when she found out who he had as his lawyer. Next lawyer said 30,000. Free lawyer at superior court said let him take you to court. OK. I've spent 12,000 dollars on mediation and legal fees that got me no where. I didn't ask to be told my best case scenario: I asked what do I need to pay him to get out of this mess. Why are the lawyers all giving different info when the facts remain the same? It is costing me so much money.
What should he get financially? I am a stay at home mom. I've worked part time too. 9 year relationship. I have a line of credit that has 20,000 on it, because roof was leaking and furnace needed to be replaced. I have 6,500 of his debt on my line of credit. I owe 12,000 on my RHOSP. Now his final offer is I give him 80,000 dollars and he is not responsible for any debt. If I don't pay him he will take me to court. I am making another appt for another lawyer because I don't want to be told what I want to hear. I just want to pay him what he is entitled to and get on with my life. But I don't think I should blindly pay him what he and his lawyer want him to get paid when other lawyers say not to. Why is commonlaw so insane. I don't want to spend riduculous amounts on legal battles, I just want him out of the house and he won't move til he is paid.
Does anyone know if it's hard to register parent's with FRO if they are corporate/self employed? Sorry for all the information.

[today]

After taking all the lawyers opinions into consideration, the question remains...what do you think you feel comfortable offering him to get him out? Refinancing may be an option for you pay him out and get it over with.

Do you have an oder for child support or spousal from court to file with FRO.

[whatnext]

I haven't been to court yet for child and spousal. I offered 60,000 and will waive spousal. My lawyers feel that is too high, but I'm ok with that. He accepted and then changed his mind.
I'm trying to prevent selling the house so the kids can stay here. but I'm looking at all options. Living in the basement apartment and renting out the top for a while. Or moving to Whitby so I can pay him off without having a bigger mortgage.

[today]

That's a tough choice, 20K more than you offered and it is over. No idea if that is fair, however, you could spend that fighting over it in no time.

Seems you have 350 in equity, so refinancing to pay out may be a viable option not to have to move. Not implying you should or should not pay.

Spousal is not a given either. Tough choices for sure. Don't think anyone can say what the outcome would be if going to court.

[dinkyface]

It all depends on how MUCH he contributed. Personally, I couldn't approach this dispute without first doing some detailed number crunching. Otherwise, I'm just at the mercy of the millions of opinions out there.

Figure out how much someone would pay as a renter sharing this house with you. Use a low-end rent, since you were not expecting to make a profit off of him.

Then figure out how much he ACTUALLY contributed. That gets tricky, since it is possible that you bought all groceries, while he paid all utility bills, in which case you would not consider his utility bill payments in full.

Back up your arguments wherever you can with supporting figures (rental ads for similar properties, your actual bills/payments). This is your argument in court.

If low-end-rent and his actual contributions are in the same ballpark, then he has absolutely no claim on your house.

If he contributed more, then offer him some $$s.

Is it possible that he is being aggressive on the house as a tactic for making you give up on requesting spousal support?

[whatnext]

Thanks for your help 'today'. I'm seeing yet another lawyer and if they tell me 80 will get this mess over with, I'll do it, irregardless of my other opinions. He's been living in the house since the legal battle began in the summer and the emotional strain isn't worth it. His lawyer has told him not to move out or it lessens his case. Have to wrap it up for the sake of the kids and my emotional health. Thanks 'dinkyface': My lawyer had me do tons of spreadsheets. I have done both of our taxes for years and have most of the paperwork and bank/credit card records. He paid substantially more than me for several years because I was home with the kids. His lawyer isn't interested in a breakdown of his contributions. She says his Notices of Assessment is enough information irregardless of how much he gave to the household. Because I thought he wasn't interested in making a claim on the house, I tried to not make big financial demands on him to be fair. The kids and I have lived pretty close to the bone, while I tried not to cramp his spending style. Without the basement income and my child tax credit benefit we'd have never got by. I wish I'd known more about commonlaw when we moved in. I don't think he would have been so aggressive but he hooked up with a lawyer who has a reputation for going for the jugular. He's also househunting and because he is corporate he needs more of a downpayment because he doesn't qualify for much of a mortgage. Thanks everyone. I appreciate the feedback.