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Better late then never

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  • Better late then never

    Realized I never really introduced myself,

    My daughters father left shortly after we found out I was expecting, he was very verbally aggressive and threatening physically. Looking back at what took place I under played a LOT of what took place. I turned to this forum in regards to being uneducated and worrisome regarding custody. My worries never ended up coming to anything as her fathers threats and my over protected fears never happened. Before my daughter was born we found out she has an extremely rare kidney disease. Despite the doctors worst fears my daughter was delivered December 20th, my little Christmas doll at a 4 weeks early. I informed her father about her birth once I had come to terms with what had taken place, and on my own terms. Now despite his best efforts to stay uninvolved I have had to track him down to try and get him to do genetic testing for our daughter. He agreed at first and is now trying to weasel out of it.
    My daughter was hospitalized for the first 2 months of her life and has been in an out of the hospital since. Her illness is very threatening and sever and with out her fathers participation for the testing she will go without certain care because they can not determine a few important details without results.

    SO at the end of the day I am a 20 year old single mom who is doing the best I can to give my daughter the best care and all the love she deserves. Only to have this one man stand in my way (not knocking men in general just him) of providing her with all that she needs.

  • #2
    Have you check with some lawyers to see if it is possible to get a court order for him to comply?

    I do know of judges forcing medical treatment against the Parents and the children's wishes.


    • #3
      If I weren't out of town at a hospital with my daughter so much I would have already gone to the court house and asked, right now though it's hard.


      • #4
        You could call the upper canada law society maybe? Might be easier for you right now then trying to find time to go down to the court house looking for answers.


        • #5
          How about police? May be get a letter from her doctor explaining your daughter's life is in danger and condition and needs her father's test, and bring it to a police station as a search for a missing person?


          • #6
            I know where he is, he doesn't work and is either home or with his girlfriend (new gf I'm not a home wrecker). He just has this st*p*d idea that I still want to be with him, he doesn't understand the only thing I want from him is his blood.... for the d*mn blood work. I'm willing not even to take him for child support if he would just co-operate.


            • #7
              Police could/would do nothing. They have zero jurisdiction over medical issues.

              IMO, I would suggest making the call and find out if there is even a way to legally get him to provide a blood test. Legally, I believe you can request it for paternity so you could kill two birds with one stone. Even if you don't want the money for child support, you could take it and put it away for her education or in case she has special needs in the future that you can't afford on your own.


              • #8
                Sorry to Hear of your Daughter in Hospital

                Cycle Dad is right. The courts will often force medical treatments on parents. I would be following also what blink she has a lot of validity in her comments as well.
                I believe support is something we can all give you as mom's and dad
                s on this forum can not even begin to understand what you are going through. I will keep you in my thoughts.
                Perhaps the moderator can be of some assistance to you. The only thing I suggest, is although this is hard for me....block your number and talk to a CAS worker and see if you can get some advise through them.
                Also if you are dealing with Sick Kids in Toronto, I am sure they have Social Workers that can help you. If not, I will give you the name of a Lawyer that can help in the GTA.
                I will wait for your reply though.

                Their are some that may not appreciate this and I hope that you do, but I will pray for you and your daughter that you will get the much needed help you are seeking and the co-operation of the biological sperm donor, as he does not appear to be a father.



                • #9
                  Deut7 thank you, I am not in the GTA so the lawyer will not work but I have no issue with finding another closer to home. Thank you for the prayers she has already been my miracle baby and I personally believe it had part to do with her strong will and the amount of prayers going her way.

                  He really is just a donor and that's what I have personally been referring to him as (would never EVER do so where she could hear even at this young age)

                  We are heading back home today so hopefully things will settle down enough that I can speak to the court house/ lawyer


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