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  • Child Support

    I currently live in BC and have a question about child support. I have been in a common law relationship for 14 years. I had a 3 year old son from a previous relationship when we started dating. My sons father paid child support the whole time I was in my common law relationship until November when he was killed in a work related accident. My son now receives a cheque from Work Safe BC every month as compensation for his fathers death. One month after the death of my sons father, I caught my common law partner having an affair and threw him out of our house. Is my common law partner still required to pay child support to his step son even though my son receives money from Work Safe BC??

  • #2
    not automatically. You would have to prove that he acted as a parent.

    But if your are recieiving a significant amount from work safe BC to cover all your child's costs (which I suspect you are) then asking him to pay for someone else's child seems vindictive.

    why do you think he should pay?


    • #3
      Your child is 17 years old now, and unless he is planning on continuing his education past highschool, then CS will be a moot point when he turns 18.

      Your ex will definitely argue that his biological father was financially responsible for the child, and that the death benefits continue to provide for his necessities.

      IMHO you have a weak legal argument for CS.

      If your ex and and your son were close, you should focus on maintaining that relationship for your son, which is infinitely more important than any money you could take from him.


      • #4 many things to say. Firdt of all, my sons father only paid $200 a month for child support, my sons step father did support us over the 14 years that we were together, we all lived as a family and this man raised my son as his own, so why should his obligation change now that there is money coming in from another source. My son is planning on continuing his education and has already been accepted into a school to do so.


        • #5
          He raised this boy as his own. He taught him to ride a bike, to skate, took him to hockey, went to parent teacher interviews. His biological father was around once a year, that's it. He was his father.


          • #6
            Is your child pursuing a post-secondary education?

            How much does your ex earn?

            How much do you earn?

            Are you still willing to encourage your son's relationship with his stepfather?

            Does your ex still see the boy?

            Do you feel you need to continue the CS to maintain a lifestyle to which the child became accustomed?

            Are you totally pissed off with him and getting CS will be a measure of revenge?

            Answers to ALL questions please.


            • #7
              He may be obligated to pay c/s, but there is no guarantee.

              IMO you have one person responsible paying for the child, trying to get another person is effectively double-dipping.


              • #8
                My child has already been accepted into a post secondary school
                My ex earns 80,000
                I am a seasonal worker and earn about 10,000
                My son right now wants no relationship because of the affair....that's his decision, not mine.
                The CS would be to help pay for his schooling/housing costs etc
                Of course I am pissed but that is not why I am seeking CS...


                • #9
                  Double dipping???? This man has supported my boy for 14 years while I received what's the difference?? Just because his biological father has died and the monthly amount has changed shouldn't take away from the facts...he has raised this boy and supported this boy since he was 3years old. If he didn't have an affair and we were still together he would still be supporting him now, even with the monthly cheque!


                  • #10
                    You didn't answer the question about whether YOU are willing to encourage a relationship b/w your boy and your ex so....

                    He raised him as his own and and acted like a parent. But that's for CS only.

                    How convenient for you that you boy now doesn't want to see him. I guess his adultery is grounds for terminating the boy's relationship with his evil step-dad.

                    You want the benefits of CS after throwing him out of the house for screwing around on you. But I'm sure your content to let the relationship b/w him and you kid wither away due to his adultery.

                    I bet that guy who raised him since he was three is going to be only too happy to pay for his step-son and not get to see him.

                    Did you try and shield the child from these adult problems? Or did you make damn sure your kid knew what a shit your ex was as soon as you found out so that the child could come to his own rational conclusion?

                    Did you try and get some counselling to address your relationship problems? Or did you jump off the deep end and participate in the break up of your family?

                    You let your adult problems become your kid's problem by giving him the boot and now you want him to support your kid. How about going out and getting a real job that earns more than your summer gig? If you think that making $10K/year is going to fly you are in for a rude awakening. Time to get a job.

                    This one stinks to high Hell.
                    Last edited by dadtotheend; 01-24-2011, 05:09 PM.


                    • #11
                      I actually had a job for 19 years, with the same company, making 50,000 and had full benefits. I gave this job up when we decided, as a family, to let my husband pursue a new career. We had to relocate in order to do so....My son left his friends and I left my career!!
                      I do not encourage nor do I discourage a relationship between the two. My ex has made no attempts to contact my child, quite the contrary. The day after I threw him out, he cut off my sons cell phone, nice guy!!
                      I did suggest counselling, he would not go.
                      I could not shield my son from what was happening in our house. When you father goes to work and does not come home for days at a time...gimme a are not stupid!! He even asked his step father, who then lied to him.
                      Typical man to take the side of a lying cheating dog!!


                      • #12
                        Unfortunately the only thing that matters are a few things:

                        1. will he be obligated to pay child support for the boy? My answer is maybe, maybe not. You will each have to argue why they should or should not have to pay. IMO, and it is only my opinion, that you are already receiving C/S from one source. Trying to get it from a second is double-dipping. I mean, you could get married 2-3 more times and each time get c/s for the same child....where does it stop?

                        2. your income is too low. You make less then minimum wage. He will argue to impute your income to an amount you are qualified to make, or failing that, full time minimum wage (so about $20k a year). He will be justified in doing so also as, if is going to obligated to support the child, you should be equally obligated if not more so.

                        The fact that he cheated is irrelevant. I wouldn't care if the roles were reversed and you cheated on him and yet were still looking for c/s.

                        Are you willing to ensure that your son and this man spend time together regularly and encourage their relationship, possibly even asking that they (not you) go to counselling to mend their relationship?

                        Ultimately, I think your chances are about 50/50 in getting c/s. And that all depends on when you get the ball rolling. I mean, lets say this isn't put before a judge for another year or two. Your son will be near done his post secondary (depending on where he goes) and a judge may at that time see limited need.


                        • #13
                          You let your son know about the affair?? Poor parenting on your part...and that would come out in court.


                          • #14
                            Normally, I would give the other side, but in this case...I'd like to know why you chose to damage that relationship prior to giving options.


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by InterprovincialParents View Post
                              You let your son know about the affair?? Poor parenting on your part...and that would come out in court.
                              Big red X right there. Why on earth would you bring your child into the middle of what is obviously an adult situation? Good for 'dad' for trying to keep it away from the child - you have no business involving him in your relationship issues.

                              You say you don't encourage or discourage the relationship between the two, I disagree entirely. By not encouraging the relationship you ARE discouraging it, you are enabling the behaviour and telling your son it's ok, and it's not. You don't care if they have a relationship, you just want him to pay.

                              You say he raised the child as his own and is virtually the only father your son has known. Now you're creating a situation where your son has NO father at all. What right do you have to make that choice for your child? They have a name for that, it's called parental alienation.

                              I suspect you had a lot more to say when you threw him out and a lot of that likely included not contacting the child. I wonder, did all of this happen in the presence of the child? Wouldn't surprise me if it did. This whole situation is shameful.
                              Last edited by blinkandimgone; 01-24-2011, 08:15 PM. Reason: the voices told me to....


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