This sucks!

[representingself]

fuck you!
i will!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry your marriage is ending....and I understand that you are upset. But Mess gave you very good advice, and your response to that was extremly rude.

If you want a pity party, go and cry to your Legal Aid Lawyer, I am sure he/she is promising you the world right now.... and draining the taxpayors pockets while you immurse yourself in ignorance.

Good luck

[spiritflower]

I do not give a flying bleep what you people think of me
I have lost most of the weight AND I am the one who is leaving him
He has begged me to stay

Sooooooooooooo

I WILL have my house

the perennials are part of the house and its increase in sales potential so it is added embellishments BUT profitable all the same

I didn't say i had legal aid representing me but thats interesting

[NotSoNiceEx]

I am not sure what you are looking for on this forum, you apparently have all the answers and clearly do not want support when it is given. You have a very detailed account of what you have accumulated (detailed over the 16 years, while he worked) as a couple and it will be useful when separating. You are not married and said that for the past 16 years you have been dependant, since you owe more on the house then it was originally purchased for i wish you luck on selling it for your presumed appraisal of $250,000. You may want to keep the perennials in the ground for the best offer. You may walk away with a little equity and since you'll be paying a lawyer you may just break even.

[piggybanktoex]

Ok Flower,

You are angry and that's OK. You are disappointed, and that's understandable. You might think that it is all unfair, and you are quite likely right.

I would imagine that everyone here has gone though their own version of hell before, during and/or after a seperation/divorce. That is part and parcel of the whole expirence, I believe.

When you calm down a bit and want advise, ideas, support, and what-not, come back in, but without the swearing and insults.

And please remember that Family Law is not about justice, it is about what's legal.

[billiechic]

WOW, who do you think you are..to attack someone who has kindly offered you sound advice? If you take the time to read through this forum you will see that Mess is one of the most respected and knowledgeable members of this forum.

by your attitude I would guess you are one of the most bitter people who has posted on this forum in years. I question why you even posted if all you wanted was a pat on the back.

Apparently you have gotten legal advice and a lawyer. good luck with that. make sure you tell your ex about the "nasty people" here. Maybe he would appreciate the help.

[dinkyface]

In absolute seriousness, it sounds like you will need professional emotional counselling to get through this. Run to your doctor NOW and get a referral.

[spiritflower]

Ok I have to be honest and admit that I deserved the responses I got from all of you regarding my previous posts. The way I presented myself was distasteful and inappropriate , especially considering the reason I came here.
Yes Mess is a very intelligent and helpful person, which was one of the reasons why I was drawn to this site in the first place. I’ve been on here and viewed what others have said and couldn’t help but notice the helpful responses given from a few creditable members including Mess so I do apologize for being so rude. Its obvious I have a lot of displaced anger at the moment and am lashing out at the world in general, but I have had some experience with this type of thing and from what I ‘ve read, it is quite normal to feel a wide range of emotions while processing a separation. Even from day to day I feel differently about my decision to leave but I always return back to the fact that I am doing it for my own good. This is the part that probably hurts the most is that it isn’t that my hubby isn’t a good man, because he is. He’s bright, witty, has a great sense of humour, is a hard worker for his employer, and loves his family dearly. Right now he seems so hurt and confused that its painful to watch and I feel guilty as ever to know that I am the one creating this hurtful turmoil in his life. Not only is he losing me but he is also losing the family pets who he adores. How can I not feel horrible about the decision I am making when I already see the effects it has on the ones I love?
note: not really seeking an answer

No, this isn’t psychological counseling, but the way I came in here with the attitude I presented, it sure seems although I could use some and I no doubt, probably could but I have to admit that I LAUGHED this morning when I read it over. It was actually a relief to know that I don’t feel as f*cked up as I sounded like in my posts, but I’ve got to admit that I have always had the ability to jump into a crowd and stir the pot. Its not something I’m proud of but I seriously need to learn to keep tabs on it for future reference. Great social skills hasn’t been one of my strongest points!

Anyway, we are going to fix up this house to sell and going to set up an appointment with a mediator so we have some neutral help while discussing these issues. This is the advice his lawyer has given which we can both agree to. A legal aid lawyer was never really a consideration since I have never been on any type of disability before or had any type of government help. We have agreed that we are going to liquidate as many items as we can to help our finances out so we get more profit to split between us. We really do need some help negotiating all our assets and because of the reason why we are doing it, there is going to be highly charged emotions. It really is a difficult thing to endure and everyone has their own reasons for separating and only each of us know what is best for us. There is no disloyalty on either side of this relationship which I am very thankful for.

I love my hubby dearly and this is quite painful a process to go through.
I’m not going to defend anything I’ve said but still laugh at my previous presentation . Yeah I can be quite the drama queen and spoiled brat at times. Point taken.

There would be no point ripping out all the perennials from the home lot, which really wasn’t what I was implying. They add to the beauty of the home and whoever purchases our house should feel a sense of pleasure and pride, like I once felt. This house has a lot of good memories but the bad ones are poisoning my soul . Unfortunately it has little to do with my hubby and discussing it would cause more damage to him than good, which was something I really had to weigh out. There are a lot of things he is better off not knowing. I have already processed most of them.
He hasn’t and doesn’t need to.

Once again, I apologize for my abnoxious approach to what I referred to as an introduction.

[Mess]

It takes a big man to admit when he is wrong, and it takes a big woman to admit she needs to lose weight.

[spiritflower]

HAHAHAHA!!
I can understand you still being sore MESS but don't worry....
you'll get over it!!!!



later people

p.s. only messing with you mess

[dadtotheend]

there's a rat in the kitchen, what i'm gonna do, there's a rat in the kitchen, what i'm gonna do, i'm gonna fix that rat, i'm gonna fix that rat.

[spiritflower]

there's a rat in the kitchen, what i'm gonna do, there's a rat in the kitchen, what i'm gonna do, i'm gonna fix that rat, i'm gonna fix that rat.

Well golly gee,,,,,,
and to think I didn't even know you were in my house