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  • Curious!!

    Long story again on again 4 yr common law relationship, we each have a child from previous marriage, we lived together for 15 mths then split for a year, then last year (Oct. 08) her parents and brother gifted (with letter) me a $50000 down payment, I put in an additional $5000, to purchase a house, my ex a real estate agent had her commission waived as well. The title, mortgage and all bills are in my name and have 100% been paid my me.If it weren't for her OCTB and child support from her ex she has never really had an income. Recently her brokerage wouldn't renew license due to in activity. She informed me in Oct. 09 she again wanted out, I suspected infidelity like the first time but whatever. We continued to live together for 5 mths all the while I am asking her to start paying half costs, she doesn't, one time telling me " I am saving up all my money so that I can afford to live here after you leave." They were going to buy my interest out at one point, we had an agreement, then they informed me a month later they just couldn't do that. Then she moved out, and now they are threatening civil lawsuit, original gift plus reasonable interest and her commission. What are my rights? There was never any agreement to pay anything back, although I would like to everyone walk away happy,


  • #2
    I'd say,
    - pay back the $50k gift from her family, even though you might not be legally obligated to. It was given with the intent to help her.
    - don't pay back the waived commission. I assume (may be wrong) that she been getting 'free' housing (and maybe more) from you for a number of years, or was contributing only very minimally to her share of expenses? What is the commission worth - under $20K (after tax)?


    • #3
      Under $10000 (commission), problem lies in that she has moved out, I can't buy them out, right now (financially), but I can still afford house mortgage, bills ect.. Without something in writing how will the courts look at this? If I sell there is a large financial penalty?


      • #4
        Why would you not sell the house, pay them the money back and get another place that's just yours?


        • #5
          That is exactly what I want to do, but with the claim that she wants her commission back while having not paid a dime over the last 15 mths, couple that with this reasonable interest, and mortgage penalty...What I want is reasonable time to fix the place up and sell...they eat the costs for this dissolving.


          • #6
            OK, they gifted you the 50k, with a letter, I assume the letter indicated it was a gift not a loan.

            She waived her commission, this would have happened through her brokerage because the brokerage gets a chunk of the commission. So it wasn't just some private deal, there is paperwork somewhere.

            So exactly where is it that you owe them a cent?

            Before you agree to a thing, let them present their actual case, which doesn't seem to exist.

            Once you see that, counter offer them a percentage, not the full 50k.

            Ethicly, they could have gifted the ex, but they used you, for whatever reason. This is causing you plenty of hassle, on top of your relationship falling apart. At best, call the house a joint enterprise where your good name was used for aquisition. Give her 50% of the gift, and 50% of any profit on the sale.


            • #7
              Originally posted by nskura View Post
     they are threatening civil lawsuit, original gift plus reasonable interest and her commission. What are my rights? There was never any agreement to pay anything back, although I would like to everyone walk away happy
              Sadly, it's going to be very difficult for eveyone to walk away happy. That's an ideal notion, but not really practical, especially if you have to involve the courts.

              Obviously, you know the culture of this relationship better than anyone, but does your good intent to have everyone walk away happy include you getting screwed? If indeed the original $50K was clearly intended as a gift by them, why would you settle for something so unreasonable? They want her commission that she waived? And interest? That's ridiculous!! Maybe you should ask for notional labour on cutting the grass and painting the bathroom.

              Tell her that, in the interests of keeping the peace, that you are prepared to give back (insert your % here) of the gifted $50K, but forget the the commission and interest, IF this stays out of the courts. But that offer is retracted the SECOND she starts legal proceedings as you will need the money she gave you (and now wants to take back) to defend yourself from their unreasonable demands.

              You will need a lawyer to represent you in a negotiated separation agreement. If indeed you can be amicable, it shouldn't cost each of you more than a few thousand. Further inform her that if she chooses to engage a lawyer that goes after you in a non-amicable way without starting a court application, that the offer is also off the table due to the extra legal fees over and above a few thousand that her unreasonable demands caused both of you.


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