Hi Everyone....New to all this and have ?'s

[Teddie]

I have been married for 6 years and recently found out she was sleeping with a friend of mine. They were supposedly going to tell me but I found out before they had a chance. We have two children and recently purchased a brand new home in June. She spends most of her time with her new guy and he's trying to get her to move into his place. Basically I'm with the kids most of the time and live in the home with them. After this whole incident I'm fed up and want out of this marriage.

She makes about the same amount of money that I do and doesn't want spousal support. I would of course agree to paying child support and we have discussed having joint custody (1 week with me, 1 week with her) of the kids. If she doesn't want support payments and we can agree on what's happening with the kids, what kind of time frame am I looking at to get a divorce finalized......I don't even know what the first step I should take is so any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[representingself]

Welcome Teddie.

It's unfortunate that your marriage is ending, and there are a lot of prople on this forum who have been through or are still going through divorce, who can provide you with suggestions and support.

Trying to survive Family Law is a very complicated and painful process. The Lawyers that we hire to protect us, tend to exacerbate the situation and make every minor issue a huge battle. That's how they make the big buck$.

If you and your ex can still negotiate with each other, than Mediation is the way to go. That way, the two of you decide the details.... instead of having a Judge force his decisions upon you.

Mediation can be pricey, but nothing compared to the costs of a Legal Attorney.

I am sure you already realize that you are both equally entitled to the matrimonial home. Neither of you can force the other to leave.

You are equally entitled to 50% of the value of all of the assets you have accumulated since the day you were married, and you are also responsible for 50% of all of the debts as well.

If you can agree with her, joint custody with shared access is definitely the way to go.
If you both make approximately the same $$$, then the child support would be a moot issue, as the offset method would probably wipe out the responsibility.

If she works, then her earning potential wasn't negatively affected by the marriage, so she probably wouldn't be entitled to spousal support anyways.

Make copies of all of her important financial documents, tax returns, mortgage papers etc. and tuck them away.

I believe that if you file for divorce citing adultery, it is more complicated, but can be faster than waiting to be seperated for a year before filing.

You can go to your local Family Law Information Center and get free legal guidance. But if you can afford it, a consultation with a Lawyer might be the way to go.

Just remember, that even if you think things will go smoothly, and your ex is cooperating right now.... all of that can change in the blink of an eye and it can get nasty fast. Try and get your custody/access arrangements on paper as soon as you can!!!

Good Luck

[retired75]

I hope i am not high jacking this thread.I am just getting started with my lawyer.The wife has not be contributing to the mortgage and the line of credit since june 6th/09.She has taken her name of the joint checking and line of credit around that time.I am now stuck with paying the mortgage and the line of credit.It's going to tight.I am suspecting she has either transferred or cashed in her RRSP portfoilio prior to seeing her lawyer so that her RRSP's won't show on her financial statement.What I am asking is, can she do this?

[representingself]

Asset and Liability division begins at on the date of separation. Its 50/50, either way.

The mortgage payments that you have paid since the date of separation will be credited to you, for the principal difference.

The RRSP's are half yours, so even if she has cashed them out, 50% of their value at the date of separation is yours.

She is still responsible for 50% of the line of credit, and payments made by you will be credited to you.

[retired75]

Asset and Liability division begins at on the date of separation. Its 50/50, either way.

The mortgage payments that you have paid since the date of separation will be credited to you, for the principal difference.

The RRSP's are half yours, so even if she has cashed them out, 50% of their value at the date of separation is yours.

She is still responsible for 50% of the line of credit, and payments made by you will be credited to you.

I am new a this.I feel that she transferred or cashed in RRSP's before going to her lawyer.I just got the letter from her lawyer last wed for me to get a lawyer.I got my lawyer last fri.So when she has to file a financial report I think these funds won't show.She has been planning this for awhile.

[Teddie]

I hope i am not high jacking this thread.I am just getting started with my lawyer.The wife has not be contributing to the mortgage and the line of credit since june 6th/09.She has taken her name of the joint checking and line of credit around that time.I am now stuck with paying the mortgage and the line of credit.It's going to tight.I am suspecting she has either transferred or cashed in her RRSP portfoilio prior to seeing her lawyer so that her RRSP's won't show on her financial statement.What I am asking is, can she do this?

Uh, yeah your completely high jacking the thread. Why didn't you just start a new one?

Anyways, thanks for your response "representingself" I appreciate your input.

[representingself]

Teddie..

My apologies...

I should have instructed R75 to start a new thread BEFORE I responded.

Sorry.

[Teddie]

Teddie..

My apologies...

I should have instructed R75 to start a new thread BEFORE I responded.

Sorry.

eh, no problem at all. Thanks for your earlier replies.