completely ripped apart

[JusticeTakesTime]

first off, if all you can think of to say is "get over it" please go away I am so very tired of being told to "get over it" I cannot think of anything less belittling and ignorant..

My husband left me and our daughter on fathers day, for another woman. Told me he never loved me, told me he had to cringe when we had sex because I am so ugly, let her and her friends mock me. he left left me in a city where I don;t know anyone, several months after my last remaining parent died of cancer.

I have spent the last 7 months having what feels like one continual horrible panic attack. I am still so in love with my husband, he wants to marry his new girlfriend, he is insisting on applying for a divorce in June.

I am so alone, I hurt so much, the only people who will even pretend to care are local guys from online who think theyre going to get laid.

I spent the first few unable to eat at all and lost 60 pounds, and the last few unable to stop, and have gained 30.

I can't really leave my house anymore.

I never knew heartbreak like this even existed.

I am losing my mind, he hurt me so much and he calls me a bully. he flat out denies certain abusive events that took place..

please someone out there has to understand me, this pain, the fact that I want him home despite everything

my brain is constantly bombarded with memories of us and the life we had, , our city we lived in prior to moving, it won;t turn off.

Im so terrified of this divorce, I don;t want this, .

I don't want this.

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

Your pain is more then obvious and warranted.
When you don't fall out of love with a person, it makes it that much harder to deal with. I had a sister in the same boat, he just up and left one day, and said alot of the same nasty things to her.

She hurt too, I tried to tell her that her pain was real, that she hurts this bad because she still loves him but the reality is that he no longer loves her. And although this is very hard to accept, it's the reality that you need to come to understand, and let yourself grieve, then make some changes in your daily routine so that you can make emotional changes more easily. Join a pear group to talk, it's a great way to vent with people in similar situations, and get access to the specific help you need.
Take care of your emotional side and your physical side will follow suit. Or take care of your physical side and it will coax your emotional site to follow.
Just remember it's going to get easier.

[AtALoss]

are you still around the forums? would like to know how you are doing. Know how you feel as went thru alot of the same myself. say hello.

[jankes71]

I hope that one day you can wake up and realize what a truly beautiful person you are. Know in your heart that the things your husband said are just to hurt you, it is not the truth, and only shows his true colors, not yours.

Instead of feeling angry that he is leaving you for another woman, try feeling sorry for him instead. What kind of a woman would become involved with a man who not only up and left his wife and kids, but could say such horrible things about her as well? I wouldn't even think of becoming involved with a man like this, let alone consider marrying him. Trust me, they will to be divorced in a few years.

The only thing you can do right now is focus on yourself and the kids. Please go see a doctor and let them know about how you are feeling. It is very important you start seeking help, for your kids sake as well as your own. Focus on your kids right now and being there for them. Be the best mom you can possibly be and remember that no matter what has happened, you have these children who will always be a wonderful gift.

Give your ex his divorce. Make sure you protect yourself as far as child support, spousal support, etc. Don't give an inch just to be nice and because you miss him. He will take advantage of you knowing this. Protect yourself right now. Don't back down.

We all need to have something to look forward to at the end of the day. You need to find your happiness again. Whether it's your kids, a good book, a glass of wine, or even a new yoga class. Find something everyday to look forward to. It is the only thing that will get you through the pain.

I know you won't believe me now, but one day, you are going to have a good laugh about what an idiot your ex is. A good, long laugh. Remember that Karma is real. What we throw out there comes back to us. Be a good person, honest with yourself, your life, and you will get through this.

All the best,

Jankes

[AtALoss]

I couldnt have said that any better, thanks

[JusticeTakesTime]

Your pain is more then obvious and warranted.
When you don't fall out of love with a person, it makes it that much harder to deal with. I had a sister in the same boat, he just up and left one day, and said alot of the same nasty things to her.

She hurt too, I tried to tell her that her pain was real, that she hurts this bad because she still loves him but the reality is that he no longer loves her. And although this is very hard to accept, it's the reality that you need to come to understand, and let yourself grieve, then make some changes in your daily routine so that you can make emotional changes more easily. Join a pear group to talk, it's a great way to vent with people in similar situations, and get access to the specific help you need.
Take care of your emotional side and your physical side will follow suit. Or take care of your physical side and it will coax your emotional site to follow.
Just remember it's going to get easier.

if I believed he didnt love me it would be easier to move on.
hes a very emotional and sensitive person, all the lies he told this girl, and me when he left, coupled with incessently emailing for months etc, plus the pain a nd anger in what he says..I know he does love me, hes just hurt and mean.

it did not even last with the woman he elft me for more than a month but h blames me for their breakup, now hes with someone else, (3 or4 relationships later) because apparently *I* attacked him when he elft so he never wants to come back (by telling him I loved him in emails, and youtube videos, apparently is an attack)

hes serial dating, now hes living with this one..this woman who agreed to marry him aftr a MONTH..clearly someone not worth marrying if theyre so desperate for it after a month IMO.... a single mom.. how can another single mom be with someone whod up and leave a little girl he called his daughter since before she could even talk and not even phone?

pathetic.

thanks for the reply

[JusticeTakesTime]

are you still around the forums? would like to know how you are doing. Know how you feel as went thru alot of the same myself. say hello.

I diont really like looking around here, i joined in december, to find out how to contest the divorce but ive decided to let sleeping dogs lie, i wont help him get it but im nto going to go out of my way tio stop it, or prolong it in any way..

everytime i see the email in my box about divorce forukm updates i have a panic attack and cry

last night i was already doing that so I decided to log in and post

[AtALoss]

It can be a very hard thing to get over and no I am not telling you to do so. Only you can decide when you are ready for change and that is okay. Just want to say that you arent alone though and talking helps to keep us on an even keel. Myself with the stress of all that led up to my walking out I lost 80lbs. All of this is hard on a person. But like others who have said in this post you ARE worthwhile and a valid person with a heart. Some days just wish there were more of us. I know your days are not easy just take it all one day at a time and if you need to talk PM me anytime.

[Julie007]

This thread was such a good thing to read. It sounds as if I am in the same situation; very hurt after my husband lied to me for a year, while he moved in with another woman - and then he turned on me and the children viciously after we found out. He's been terrible to the kids and doesn't want anything to do with them - and it was all so sudden. One day he was their father - the next he hated them.

[cardinal]

hope you are feeling better.
My husband doesn't want to be married to me because I tried to kill myself.

[billiechic]

Cardinal, that is a horrible way for your husband to respond. Obviously you are hurting and needing support, not rejection. Do you have someone to talk to? a friend, family, a counsellor?

I hope you are ok.

[cardinal]

I have a counselor, but she is expensive and I don'tknow how long I cankeep seeing her. My doctor's office hasn't even made a referral for a psychiatrist and its been 2 weeks. I feel hopeless and have no ability to make any decisions about my life.

[billiechic]

Cardinal:
Have you looked online for help? Here is a link to get you started:
Information | Centre for Suicide Prevention
There should be lots of help out there for you. Don't feel bad about asking for it. Just get yourself better first, you can deal with your husband later.