Tweet
Another newbie
Hi, new here and appreciating all the posts and advice.
I'm separated from my STBX for a year. We're about to head to mediation, possibly. I'm feeling we're not good candidates since he's super angry and there's a definite power imbalance related to finances and earning power. We both work full-time and he makes about 5x what I do, although he hasn't had a very successful year.
I am in the house with our 3 young children, and have them > 65% of the time. He lives close by. I manage everything to do with the children, day-to-day, school stuff, appointments, all arrangements, lunches, laundry, etc. He has them 35% of the time, but it's usually just overnight, not a lot by himself during the day/weekend. I still make lunches, do their laundry (that he drops off) etc. He has been paying the bills at the house, before/after school caregiver costs, as well as rent on an apartment. I pay for PT preschool and all the day to day expenses for myself and the kids, e.g sports, food, clothes, my cell, insurance, gas, etc. He has always had control of finances, although no joint accounts other than a VISA. All his money - TFSA and RESP is in his name, other than mortgages on our house and cottage. I have a pension and some investments as well. Line of Credit is also in his name. So, the thing is he's run out of money for bills. I've made a few suggestions, ie sell my car (in his name) which is relatively new and worth about 30k. Slow down the mortgage payments, which are accelerated weekly payments, sell the house asap, have me pay some mortgage payments from my account, etc. I have intercepted and paid a few bills, and also cancelled the home phone to save money. He is paying rent from his Line of Credit and saying he has no money for child care and gas to take the kids anywhere. Where to go from here? What can I do without fueling the fire? He gets angry and physically intimidates me when he doesn't hear what he wants, ie. standing over me and yelling about it being 'his house' when I make suggestions about selling, etc. He makes threats about leaving and quitting his job as well, just to see me in poverty. I see my lawyer tomorrow, so advice around next steps and things I haven't considered is most welcome.....
I'm separated from my STBX for a year. We're about to head to mediation, possibly. I'm feeling we're not good candidates since he's super angry and there's a definite power imbalance related to finances and earning power. We both work full-time and he makes about 5x what I do, although he hasn't had a very successful year.
I am in the house with our 3 young children, and have them > 65% of the time. He lives close by. I manage everything to do with the children, day-to-day, school stuff, appointments, all arrangements, lunches, laundry, etc. He has them 35% of the time, but it's usually just overnight, not a lot by himself during the day/weekend. I still make lunches, do their laundry (that he drops off) etc. He has been paying the bills at the house, before/after school caregiver costs, as well as rent on an apartment. I pay for PT preschool and all the day to day expenses for myself and the kids, e.g sports, food, clothes, my cell, insurance, gas, etc. He has always had control of finances, although no joint accounts other than a VISA. All his money - TFSA and RESP is in his name, other than mortgages on our house and cottage. I have a pension and some investments as well. Line of Credit is also in his name. So, the thing is he's run out of money for bills. I've made a few suggestions, ie sell my car (in his name) which is relatively new and worth about 30k. Slow down the mortgage payments, which are accelerated weekly payments, sell the house asap, have me pay some mortgage payments from my account, etc. I have intercepted and paid a few bills, and also cancelled the home phone to save money. He is paying rent from his Line of Credit and saying he has no money for child care and gas to take the kids anywhere. Where to go from here? What can I do without fueling the fire? He gets angry and physically intimidates me when he doesn't hear what he wants, ie. standing over me and yelling about it being 'his house' when I make suggestions about selling, etc. He makes threats about leaving and quitting his job as well, just to see me in poverty. I see my lawyer tomorrow, so advice around next steps and things I haven't considered is most welcome.....
Comment