Help....Advice needed....Flipping out right now!

[inseperationhell]

ok, some advice is needed.

Seperation agreement is signed, I bought him out of the house and the financial transactions are complete now.

According to the seperation agreement, he has until Dec. 31st to pack and move all of his things. He moved a week and a half ago, came by with a truck that was much too small, didn't pack most of his stuff and left. He still has things in the house. I have been putting the house together, room by room. Packing up his things that he didn't as I go.

I got the locks changed as it is my house now, he flipped. I have emailed him several times asking when he will move the rest of his stuff, asking him to arrange with me ahead of time and I will let him in.

This weekend, I am out of town for a sporting event for one of my kids - he knows I am out of town. He emailed today, asking for access to the house to move and pack on Saturday (when I am 300 km away). I replied that Saturday was not possible as I was out of town, but any other day in the next few weeks would be ok.

He flipped, stating that I was not allowing him to pack his stuff - it should be on his terms only. That if I was going to change the locks or prevent him from being there when I was not in town, I should have specifically stated that in the agreement. Then he began to spout off and accusing me of all kinds of crap. He has been telling the kids that I am not allowing him to move his stuff.

All I said was not Saturday....any other day was ok.

Am I being unreasonable? I can't afford another round of lawyers....

[FaithandMorals]

Why did you change the locks if he has until Dec 31st to get his stuff? On what grounds/authority did you do that?

[standing on the sidelines]

Why did you change the locks if he has until Dec 31st to get his stuff? On what grounds/authority did you do that?

she owns the house, he doesnt get free rein to come and go into her house when he pleases. He has until the 31st to move his stuff and all she is doing is protecting her asset for the time she is out of town. He has lots of time other then this specific weekend to pick up his stuff.

She is doing the right thing, he is still trying to control her and i bet if he has his way he will try and come in every single day to pick up a couple of things just to annoy the crap out of her.

[inseperationhell]

The house is in my name alone...I own it. He has his own house which I do not have access to. I have told him that he can come and arrange to pack and move his stuff....he did not pack in the 3 weeks he was still in the house. He is claiming that the only day he is available to come between now and dec 31st is the ONLY day that I am going to be out of town.

All I am asking is that I am in town and in the house when he moves....to protect my interests...if I give him a key to come and go as he pleases, I am giving up any assurance that he will not take more than what was in the agreement....

[Rioe]

He's had plenty of time and notice to get his stuff out, and he's being an unreasonable bully about it. I don't blame you for being annoyed, but take a breath and tell yourself this will soon be over.

Is this his kid too? I forget your backstory. If so, he should be at the sporting event!

I think you just want him out of your hair, right, even if it takes a bit of effort? Can you arrange to have a friend put the boxes on the lawn for pickup that day? Or in the garage where he still can't get into the house? How much stuff are you talking about?

[FaithandMorals]

Maybe I am thick but I still don't understand. Why did he not have an absolute move out date before the house was yours.

If the house was always yours he was basically a tenant and then you need to treat his stuff similiarly IMO. If a tenant moves phsyically and leaves stuff behind you need to allow the tenant to have access for something like 30 days. I am not saying the ex tenant can come in the house at that stage I am saying that there is a template for things like this.

[007]

Looks like he is a real control freak. Give him a specific date and time (in writing) to pick up his stuff, pack it all up and leave it in the garage. If he does not show up it will be outside.

[HammerDad]

he has until Dec. 31st to pack and move all of his things

This is the important information.

According to the court order, he has until that date to remove his belongings, notwithstanding the transfer in title.

Yes, you are entitled to be there to ensure your asset is protected.

Give him a specific date and time (in writing) to pick up his stuff, pack it all up and leave it in the garage.

No, you cannot say that he can come on December 19 (for example) to pic up his stuff or it will be thrown out or put outside. Why? Because a judge said he has until Dec. 31. He is entitled to reasonable attempts to retrieve his belongings. Should she dispose of them prior to Dec. 31, she could be sued for damages. Should she store them in an unreasonable manner that damages them, she could be sued.

What I would do? Well, if I had a garage, I would box everything up nicely and stack them on a pallet in the garage. I'd advise him that the garage is unlucked and he can come by at any time after giving 24 hours notice to collect it.

If you don't have a garage and you don't want him in your house AND you want the stuff out now, I would box it up and get one of those Self-Storage units (the smaller kind that can be delivered to the house) and put all of his stuff in it. I would then give him the name, phone and all details relating to the storage unit and advise him he can have the storage unit delivered to his house. However, that you are only will to pay for it to be stored until the end of Jan. 31, at which time you will no longer be responsible for it.

Why Jan 31? Because A) a judge said he can come to your place until Dec 31. So Technically, the stuff doesn't have to be out until then. And B) you must be reasonable. If you dispose of his items Jan 1, a court may find you unreasonable.

If you don't want to do the storage unit, should give him 4-6 dates when you will be available to come by, or that he provide you 48 hours notice and you reserve the right to deny access.

But should you give him one date that doesn't work for him due to his schedule, and then dump everything in January, you will look real bad in the courts eyes and could be sued for damages.

Edit - I would also inventory everything I gave with a brief description of what shape it is in (good share, rough etc) and maybe even take a picture. I would also advise him that, should I find anything in the future, I will ensure it available for pickup at the earliest opportunity.

[Tayken]

This is the important information.

According to the court order, he has until that date to remove his belongings, notwithstanding the transfer in title.

Yes, you are entitled to be there to ensure your asset is protected.



No, you cannot say that he can come on December 19 (for example) to pic up his stuff or it will be thrown out or put outside. Why? Because a judge said he has until Dec. 31. He is entitled to reasonable attempts to retrieve his belongings. Should she dispose of them prior to Dec. 31, she could be sued for damages. Should she store them in an unreasonable manner that damages them, she could be sued.

What I would do? Well, if I had a garage, I would box everything up nicely and stack them on a pallet in the garage. I'd advise him that the garage is unlucked and he can come by at any time after giving 24 hours notice to collect it.

If you don't have a garage and you don't want him in your house AND you want the stuff out now, I would box it up and get one of those Self-Storage units (the smaller kind that can be delivered to the house) and put all of his stuff in it. I would then give him the name, phone and all details relating to the storage unit and advise him he can have the storage unit delivered to his house. However, that you are only will to pay for it to be stored until the end of Jan. 31, at which time you will no longer be responsible for it.

Why Jan 31? Because A) a judge said he can come to your place until Dec 31. So Technically, the stuff doesn't have to be out until then. And B) you must be reasonable. If you dispose of his items Jan 1, a court may find you unreasonable.

If you don't want to do the storage unit, should give him 4-6 dates when you will be available to come by, or that he provide you 48 hours notice and you reserve the right to deny access.

But should you give him one date that doesn't work for him due to his schedule, and then dump everything in January, you will look real bad in the courts eyes and could be sued for damages.

Edit - I would also inventory everything I gave with a brief description of what shape it is in (good share, rough etc) and maybe even take a picture. I would also advise him that, should I find anything in the future, I will ensure it available for pickup at the earliest opportunity.

Another low-cost alternative is to do as Hammerdad says and move the belongings to a storage locker, provide the other party the key and pass code to the storage locker and notify them they have until a specific date to get the items (be very reasonable) and that you will pay for the locker at your own expense until a specific date. At that time you will remove any items not taken.

Good Luck!
Tayken