My ex decided it would be best if we swapped our 3 yearold son at her parents place. She said she doesn't feel comfortable at mine and me going there out of nowhere after 3 months of it. I said ok. We have been doing so for the past month. My son has been curious about seeing my work van. So the other day I happened to be working around the ex's home and at the right time (after sons daycare) so I decided to stop by to show him. She freaked out on me for coming there. The next night police came to my door asked a bunch of relationship questions and said I'm not aloud to be in her complex from now on. Can they actually enforce that just because she doesn't want me there for no reason?
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First, I think you made a mistake by showing up when you were not expected and outside your normal visitation time. Especially as she told you she was uncomfortable with you now going to her place to pick your son up. I'm not surprised she freaked out.
Can she enforce you not coming? I'm not sure, I'm not a lawyer. But seems to me that sort of thing should be in the agreement. You seem fine with going to the ex-in-laws so don't make a fuss about it if it happens.
Can the police say you can't go into her complex? I don't think so. You imply you're some sort of contractor. What happens if you get a job there? Sorry, I can't because my ex lives in the building? I think that sort of thing would need a court order, not the police saying you can't go there. But do avoid if at all possible.
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'Dropping by' un-announced didn't work out too well for you did it?
Probably should at least call or something first if you're going to do tht again.
I don't believe the police can forbid you from being there, unless you were arrested and have conditions set out as a result. Having said that, probably best to avoid the complex. It WILL be in that cops notes that you were told to stay away - so any further issues will look bad on you - and that COULD lead to an arrest.
You may do yourself well by coming to the conclusion that some ppl are idiots (my ex, for example), and its best just to say "yes dear" to all her nonsense and avoid all the baby mama drama.
Whats important is seeing your kid. Not where you pick him/her up, or how difficult the ex can be on any given day.
Remember that.
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If someone (including your ex) states that you are not allowed on their property (including if they rent) they are giving you legal notice of trespass. If you go there again, you can be arrested just for setting foot on the property.
In an extreme emergency if you were called there by your child you could argue against a trespass charge, but yes, you could be charged automatically.
If the ex sees you on the property she can call the police and you can be arrested later even after you've left.
This is something you don't want to play with.
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It is true, my intent was harmless. And I now I have no reason to return again, but if one happens to arise in the future then I don't need to feel like I'm going to get in trouble with the law to tend to what ever that reason may be for my son. I just can't believe police can come by and tell me it is now illegal to go near there. I have a very passive personality and never cause problems. So when I feel someone (the police in this case) has lied or treated me unfairly, I guess I can get pretty stubborn and do not let them go till some kind of fairness is restored.
And just a note to some replys: I never went on her rental property. Only entered the townhouse complex and stayed in the parking lot. I also realize showing up somewhere unannounced when one does not want to see someone is wrong, but she knows why I did and it had nothing to do with her. Her over reaction in calling the police is proof of what kind of person she is. If she needed to call anyone it should have been some type of shrink/counselor to sort her wild emotions- the police only escalate the problem. Anyway lol I felt I should add this 2nd paragraph to defend myself. This wasn't why I posted. If she wants to be a nut then so be it. But if the law is going to bring trouble for no good reason then that is a problem.
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yes but if you keep going back there (not that you are) you could get arrested for stalking. You do not have to be in her unit for that.
You say you are passive but when you feel wronged you get stubborn and refuse to let it go until what you deem is fair. That is not a passive person, a passive person just goes with the flow. Sure you are not passive/aggresive?
If she is as bad as you say she is and you know what she is like, it should not have been a surprise the way she reacted. All of a sudden it is so important to show your son your work truck?? You could/should have called her first and let her know that you would like to stop by to show him the truck.
Yes she over-reacted based on what you have said, but we only know your side of the story and your version of the history behind everything.
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Originally posted by Johndoe View PostIt is true, my intent was harmless. And I now I have no reason to return again, but if one happens to arise in the future then I don't need to feel like I'm going to get in trouble with the law to tend to what ever that reason may be for my son. I just can't believe police can come by and tell me it is now illegal to go near there. I have a very passive personality and never cause problems. So when I feel someone (the police in this case) has lied or treated me unfairly, I guess I can get pretty stubborn and do not let them go till some kind of fairness is restored.
Police always does it. Thous so called serve and protect guys try to do minimum job with maximum result.
Are you sure you want to spend years to try to restore some kind of fairness? I meant just think what is more important some kind of fairness or your kid? Try to be smart - yeas I know it hard sometime but losses may be huge...
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Working dad, that is completely out of line. We in Canada have trespass and stalking laws for a reason, people aren't arrested randomly for wandering around accidently on people's property.
Johndoe is being ridiculous, he did something stupid and is lucky that the consequence is just a warning, but he is hiding behind "I can't believe the police would arrest me for something like that".
You are being worse. You have a knee jerk reaction against the wife. She did nothing wrong. I don't want my ex hanging around my house either. She's not allowed in the house and she has to call before she comes over.
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Originally posted by Mess View PostWorking dad, that is completely out of line. We in Canada have trespass and stalking laws for a reason, people aren't arrested randomly for wandering around accidently on people's property.
Johndoe is being ridiculous, he did something stupid and is lucky that the consequence is just a warning, but he is hiding behind "I can't believe the police would arrest me for something like that".
You are being worse. You have a knee jerk reaction against the wife. She did nothing wrong. I don't want my ex hanging around my house either. She's not allowed in the house and she has to call before she comes over.
Are you kidding me?
when all that bullshit started with me I also being told do not go to apartment despite the fact I have a key and I was on a lease.
and one more time I do not have "You have a knee jerk reaction against the wife" she is not my wife and I do not care about what she think or do unless it related to little one...
But I have reaction to the system when just because someone call police and say do not come police can come and tell you can not go there. IT'S A COURT / JUDGE ONLY AFTER TRAIL CAN ORDER YOU TO NOT GO OR WHATEVER... Isn't it?
I also have a problem with a system that allow someone sitting on welfare to get LegalAID Certificate put bunch a lies on affidavit without even one single prove and almost destroy another persons life without any possibilities to accountability for her action ...
and I can continue but you probably very proud Canadian to believe as I was before I face this horrible discussting mess called "Canadian Family Law" and how men treat in Canada.
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Mess, I think we talking little bit about different subjects here...
My comment was about how police work first of all. They have no right to tell someone not to go somewhere. They can tell if you will go you can be arrested for such and such but not tell CAN NOT GO THERE.
I saw that way of doing from police every time...
And again may be I did not understand something but poster said that he did not come to the house... for example i was told not even come to apartment building... I mean common base on what?
And just to be clear did you invite me to your house? Well you know that if you invited me it's not trespass) thank you for invitation but I think I will pass but thank you anyway )
May be when Garry teach me to make cinnamon buns I will make some and come but before ....
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This has been gone over time and time again on this board.
You have a right to enter a place IF YOU LIVE THERE. If you live somewhere else, you do not have a right to keep your old residency.
This flows from landlord/tenant law. Just because you own a building or have a lease doesn't mean you can just walk in any time you feel like it if someone else lives there (or works there in a commercial property) and you live elsewhere.
Say you rent an apartment. You go on a trip and sublet it to someone else while you go on vacation for July and August. You come back early, you have a key, you have a lease, you crawl into bed. The woman you subletted to will kick your ass and have you arrested. You can't just walk into a place because you have a key.
If you don't understand that you are a fool. You can't just walk into your old place in on your ex any time you feel like it.
You don't understand that because you don't WANT TO understand that, you just want to whine about the system and the police because you aren't able to just do whatever the hell you want.
I'm frankly not surprised you are in court, what I am surprised about is that you are not in jail.
Under Canadian law (like it or leave) there is something called NOTICE OF TRESPASS. You are told the first time you are trespassing, this is like a first warning. A sign is also sufficient. If you step on the property again, you are automatically committing a criminal act, you don't have have to be told to leave, you can just be arrested on the spot.
The police were absolutely right in telling you that you couldn't go there, you had been told by the resident not to come on the property, if you go back you are trespassing and it is a criminal offence.
Wise up, grow up and stop whining about everything that isn't exactly the way you like it. You live in a society, you live according to the rules we came up with.
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Eh Mess ... It's a mess
so just to confirm - you saying police can (have legal authority) without court order prevent you from go even to apartment building what is not property of a residence. Right?
and by the way I am not in jail because I did not do anything illegal... Despite about ~15 calls (false accusation) to police I DID NOT DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL...
and in court I am just because I love my son and will not give up on him. Just to be clear.Last edited by WorkingDAD; 07-26-2011, 10:32 AM.
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Stop whining. The police did not grab you and stop you going in. They told you that you couldn't go in. They were actually doing you a favour.
I've given you a complete explanation, you should be able to figure it out from here. What, do you need someone to hold your hand and help you with the spelling?
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