Just Wondering

[fustratedGF]

is there anyone that can answer my question,
my boyfriend has been separated for 5 years and his ex is finally filing for divorce he wants to be done with her but he wants her to lose his last name now she told him that she is allowed by law to keep it is this true?

[dinkyface]

She is free to use whatever name she likes.

[tugofwar]

Do they have children together? If so, it would probably be easier if they had the same name. It's up to her if she wants to change it or not.
If they had children, did he want her to change the child's lastname?

[representingself]

My grandparents got divorced 43 years ago, and to this day, my grandmother still uses his last name...

Try not to fret over the little things...

[fustratedGF]

yes they have kids but they are grown and she abandoned them when they were teenagers to go do her own thing so my bf thinks she doesn't deserve to carry his name anymore

[ONdad]

It doesn't matter what he thinks, it's her choice. I wouldn't waste any time fretting over it.

[tugofwar]

yes they have kids but they are grown and she abandoned them when they were teenagers to go do her own thing so my bf thinks she doesn't deserve to carry his name anymore

So, do you think if a father is totally out of the picture with his child that the mother should be able to change their last name?

No one deserves alot of things especially the children who suffer the most.
Sorry, don't see why this bugs him so much.

I would love to change my name back to my maiden name, but what about our daughter? Someone said to me that it will be confusing and harder on the child and it's just easier to have the same last name so for the time being Im stuck with it.... trust me it's not easy having to say it, I just spell it when someone asks, it's alittle less painful

[dadtotheend]

I don't get all the hang up over names. I get that the family name being the same is game, but I don't think it's necessary.

If my future wife (????? hahaahahaha) wants my name, or not, that's cool.

[tugofwar]

Depends on what it is I guess! LOL
There are some pretty bad ones out there
I should know, I work in a field where I see some of the strangest names and can't help but laugh at some of them

[Lanfear]

I am also a GF to a separated father and I am sure we have a lot in common!

I understand the fuss over the last name, trust me.

My bf has a large familiy and his last name is well known by the community. His family is well-known for a variety of reasons, mainly because of their agriculture background and their involvement in the community. His ex is an embarassment to the name, and the rest of the family wants nothing to do with her.

I thought once as a joke, it would be funny if we got married, and used MY last name instead of his. Then at least the two of them wouldn't share a name.

But I have bigger battles to fight with her, before we even think about marriage. First she needs to stop being a spiteful *bleep* and sign the divorce already.

[standing on the sidelines]

yes they have kids but they are grown and she abandoned them when they were teenagers to go do her own thing so my bf thinks she doesn't deserve to carry his name anymore

in the grand scheme of things this is such a small issue. She is free to keep the name. She will (?) probably get married again and boom, take the new husbands name. Why make such a fuss over it?