sigh...frustrated NCP...minor medical issues

[dinkyface]

a little pathetic rant here (I'm NCP and not permitted to take child to doctor)

- Toddler has had problems with little boils/pimples for the past 1.5 yrs (and in all seasons), and with increased language is now complaining of discomfort from them.
- 4 mo ago family dr said.. looks like insect bites.
- I go huh?? (and CP's daycare goes huh??) and CP gets very angry.
- 3 mo ago family dr looks at photos I provide, and says, OH, we need skin swabs and dermatologist visit. Dermatologist has a cancellation, so we can get in real quick (if CP consents).
- CP refuses to consent.
- 1 mo ago dermatologist visit finally (I think - CP tells me nothing, which is violation of our court order).
- Today I ask CP for update - FINALLY there is some sort of cream prescribed (no details given - will see it tomorrow on access visit)

Having a hard time conceiving that anyone can believe this is insect bites and be happy just to let our kid continue to complain about them. I know is not life and death, but come on!! Put your ego aside and look after our kid already!

[sufferer]

{I know is not life and death, but come on!! Put your ego aside and look after our kid already}

Its true but its pretty serious.And even if you are the NCP still you are the parent and have full authority to know everything.

[dinkyface]

Well, the reality is, a CP has the power to block NCP from access to any medical info. Regardless of specific terms in consent order. Regardless of Family Law Act. It's a neat trick... I ask, am ignored, ask again, am ignored, try to get appointment w Dr, am ignored....and presto, I'm now the problem because I'm harassing and, gasp, PERSISTENT. All that fuss for a few pimples, look your honour, see how UNREASONABLE he is?

Anyone considering giving in to demand for sole custody should keep that one in mind.

My lawyer sure didn't give me any warning.

[Mess]

OK, I am just going by my books and you should check with a lawyer, but all the info I have is that even with sole custody, the NCP has a RIGHT to access to medical records and school records. Being NCP doesn't mean that they stop being YOUR children.

You should be able to call the doctor's office and make an appointment with the doctor through the doctor's receptionist. If it is them that is putting you off, mention that you will enquire about policy with the College of Physicians and Surgeons. Likewise, you should be able to make your own parent/teacher interviews, and speak directly with the school principal if necessary.

This sounds like a serious problem, it is causing you significant worry and frustration. If she is actually blocking you from contact with the doctor, there are real legal issues here.

[dinkyface]

Mess, completely agreed. I don't want to give the impression that I am letting this happen.

Our parenting coordinator indicated it was a problem for which I had legal recourse, but apparently has not made any effort to help (and has even unilaterally sanctioned blocking daycare from releasing any health-related observations to me e.g. incidences of fever). Hmm, so now I have to argue with the PC too???

Is hard to tell if I'm truly blocked...have been trying to get a dr appointment for the last month and just get the runaround from reception. I certailnly have been blocked from speaking w dermatologist, since there is now a 'NOTE' on kid's file that all inquiries should go solely thru main physician.
My first/only meeting with this dr was great, but it's going off the rails again.

It's just that I resent that I must be the heavy, must threaten with lawyers, argue etc etc etc. for something that according to the books should be no contest.

Kid's first/previous dr refused to provide services to NCP (me), and after I forced a few meetings w Her/Me and her lawyer she resigned. I came down with campylobacter shortly after we split and before kid was born (really horrible, weeks of being tied to the toilet), and she also did her best to refused treating me, I guess believing I was making it up...she just wanted to RUN AWAY. Gotta wonder exactly what monster stories she was told about me...